i think internet relationships can work..my friend has now been married for 4 years to a guy she met on the internet..so i guess sometimes it does work

The reason I waited until today to tell you guys this is because my brother has been known to visit the site and the forums, so I didn't want word leaking out until after my parents left to come down here...

Anyway, last Friday Paul (my boyfriend) asked me to marry him and I accepted. Picture of the ring is forthcoming. We're going to tell both sets of parents tomorrow night when we have dinner at Paul's parents'.

So for this thread, I have to say that meeting people through the internet really *does* work. (For me, if you remember, I met Paul through match.com.)

Yes, but at how much of a price, financially? I joined a group yesterday, but to get e-mails, etc, you have to shell out $29.95 a month, and the worst thing that could happen would be getting no responses at all!
I got two responses yesterday,but won't be able to answer back anytime soon because of the cash, which makes me feel bad!

Anyway, congrats, Lady macb...hopefully those of us who have been trying till we're blue in the face will have the same results happen to us someday....

Paul and I didn't pay anything. Some of the places you only pay to reply to ads and in Paul's first message, he gave me his AOL IM name.

And thanks.

Wow, you kept that one quiet. Heartiest congratulations to Paul and my very best wishes to you. (Apparently you only congratulate the man as he has made a good catch, only best wishes are sent to the woman - can't congratulate her as it makes it seem as if she did the chasing!)

The guy I met was through Matchmaker.com, on the month's free trial.

So when is the wedding Beth?

I just wish it was that easy! Have been trying for 30 years to get the all-elusive, rite-of-passage first date. Not where you go out as just friends: that doesn't work as men & women can't be just friends!

Huh? Men and woman can't be just friends?

Beth, I'm so happy for you.

I think I've said this elsewhere recently, but I have to agree that it's when people don't think of the internet as "real life" that problems occur. I just can't understand why there's a differentiation. It doesn't matter whether you're on the internet or at the park, etc., dishonest people will be dishonest, honest people will be honest. Being online doesn't make honest people dishonest. Not in my experience, anyway.

Men & women can't be just friends: They Can't!! Try being me, when you get the same result over & over again of trying to ask for dates or trying to get someone you like to notice you.

BTW, you don't want to know all the failures I had to endure while in high school & college: I could write a book about it!

Well, then I don't know if I'm a strange woman or my friends are strange men. My husband doesn't seem to have any problems with me having male friends, though.

I have to agree with Lothruin. I did meet one very special, unequaled person on the net,[ and I will always be grateful that happened] there are a couple of other men whom I know 'virtually'. They have become my trusted friends, and we talk about everything under the sun. But it's not a 'seeking' situation and there's no sexual tension [ a very refreshing thing!]

But then - I have always been 'one of the boys' ever since high school. My second best friend in high school was a guy, in fact. Hmm. Maybe you've just watched When Harry Met Sally one too many times!

This is nothing to joke about: in college I did some very serious things to try and get my point of view across.
Going back to one of my other posts, I've never had a real first date. You try to be nice, but what does it get you: rejection - the story of my life.
And also, there's always someone else who manages to get what you want!

oh dear.

Robertm.I don't think anybody on here would try to make fun of you on purpose...it's just that you seem so bent on not believing something that a lot of people know to be true. I am really very sorry things haven't gone well in that department for you...but there has to be a reason for it. Maybe you're trying too hard. Could that be it?

kstew, it's a long story which I won't get into - it goes all the way back to high school and my first crush.
She was a friend, still is, even though she dated (and wound up marrying one) football players for the most part.
And from there on, in college, never was in a serious relationship, no matter how hard I tried. It's just trying to fit in. Next month is my 25th class reunion - if I can take any comfort from that is some of my friends did take the plunge, only to go off the tracks later on.
BTW, I've never watched "When Harry Met Sally", although I know what the plot line is!

I certainly wasn't trying to make fun. (Although I'll admit to being guilty of trying to make light.) Like Kstew, I've always been one of the guys. In highschool I had two good female friends and 6 good male friends, and I spent more of my time with the guys. One of my best friends is the husband of my BFF, Holly. (I say BFF, which is the very teenage term, "Best Friends Forever", but since Holly and I have been friends since I was five and we actually used to sign notes to each other "BFF" I feel like I'm justified in using it, cheesy as it is.) So if men and women can't be just friends, I guess my husband should start worrying. But I don't think it works that way.

Lothruin, that's OK - no harm intended.
I did get along well with everyone in high school, mainly because of my smarts. And I didn't invent the "Men & women can't be just friends" scenario:
it's been around for some time....

But Robertm, folks thought the world was flat, too for the longest time...oh well. Again, I'm not trying to be a smart alec. I just hope you can have friends from both sides of the isle, someday.

Yikes ! I can't believe I'm back on this Thread again. I like it but it brings up a crazy quilt of ideas - everybody has such mixed feelings on how to "meet" people. Is a 'singles' bar better than the Internet? Not likely. Is going to a church function hoping to 'latch' onto that single person good? Not likely. On and on. I still say what I've said before somewhere: when you stop looking it finds you - we're all meant to be found but we needn't be hunters en route. In my youth I met so many people who wanted to just "have" me! The pressure of that was intense because, then, they really never got to know me. I never put such pressures on anyone else.

One last little footnote, robertm, I too met an entirely (and eternally) special someone on the Net. It just happened. It can be real, despite my wobblings. Another interesting note: in my 30s many women just assumed I was gay. I was OK looking, smart, successful, single, no kids. I never corrected them (maybe that was deception, I don't know ) BUT it gave us the chance, sexual tension out the window, to truly get to know each other as people. When it was finally revealed that I was "mostly " normal" we had all the hard stuff conquered. I think the internet can work the same way. I wouldn't suggest the 'gay' angle, though. It can, here and there, be hard to shake lol.

Hang in there, robertm - and know that anyone who ever has or ever will make sport of you (and it would never happen around here) aren't worth your time to begin with.

Ah. The voice of reason shows up one more time!

Robertm, I don't think I've ever had a 'real' first date either, and until a few years ago hadn't had a 'real' boyfriend. And as I've been married for nearly 6 months and can trully only see death parting us, I most likely never will. But just as there's no set, only or best way to meet people, there's no set, only or best way for the relationship to grow. I know I've been into all of this elsewhere in these forums, but the way I met my husband has to be, I think, one of the least likely and unexpected scenarios. It was at my father's surprise birthday party - he came with his parents as he had recently moved back to the old home town.

I must agree with Mr Gatsby, it is almost invariably when you're not looking that you find.

Good morning, all, and I would like to say Thanks! for the advice & support! Somehow, I've managed to get thru the last 30 years, but it gets so frustrating sometimes!
A question: why is there so much emphasis on marriage & relationships these days? It just seems like singles are treated like dirt! One example: Regis Philbin - when he does both his talk show & Millionaire, the most important question he asks is the marital/social status of his guests. To him, someone being single is a disease.
I guess some of us are just impatient - we want it all now and just refuse to wait!

I don't think it's just 'these days' that there is emphasis on marriage and relationships, I think it's always been a pretty hot topic. For something which is so fundamental - not only to enjoyment of life, but the very continuation of the species - most of us are remarkably bad at relationships. And I mean not just the capital R 'romantic' ones, but also friendships, parent/child relationships etc. I'm not at all a religious person, but I think if more people followed the old 'do unto others' rule things would go much more smoothly for everyone. And before anyone thinks I'm being 'holier than thou', I will confess that while I am very happy in my marriage, I can't say that my relationships with some of the other people in my life are plain sailing.

I'm sure none of the above is news to anyone, nor particularly helpful to you specifically, robertm. I dunno, all I can say is I gather that you are 30, and if it's any consolation, not only did I meet my husband in an odd manner when I least expected it, but I was 32 and he was 35. Does that help any?!?

Ing, no, believe it or not, I'm 43!
(the class reunion next month is my 25th). The 30-year drought stretches all the way back to high school (in the glorious mid-'70s)

Oops! Well, um, does that mean you had a girlfriend when you were 13? She said, swiftly back-peddling and trying to extract her foot from her mouth...and I read the bit about the 25th reunion too... um okay, let's try a different tack. You say that there's all this emphasis on relationships and that the impossibly coiffured Mr Philbin treats 'singleness' like some kind of disease. But I wonder if perhaps you have a little of that feeling yourself...

Okay, I'm just gonna pull myself back here before I get too all-knowing and off-topic. And besides, any more of my pearls of wisdom and I'd have to charge you for this session!