Kate Lorenz
CareerBuilder.com Editor

You've heard of the dog who ate homework, but what about the cat who unplugged the alarm clock? These days, people are getting very creative when they don't want to go to work.

In CareerBuilder's survey "Out of the Office," more than one-third of U.S. workers say they played hooky from work over the last twelve months. Thirty-five percent of workers admit to calling in sick when they felt well at least once during the last year and one-in-ten said they did so three or more times.

Why are they calling in sick? The top three motivators for faking include attending to personal errands and appointments, catching up on sleep and simply relaxing. The reasons also include attending a child's event, bad weather, making plans with friends and going on a job interview.

"It's a popular time of year for employees to call in sick," said Rosemary Haefner, Senior Career Advisor for CareerBuilder.com. "However, the number of those who are actually feeling under the weather may not necessarily match up with unscheduled absences. Twenty percent of workers say they called into work because they just didn't feel like going into the office that day. One-in-four workers report they feel sick days are equivalent to extra vacation days and treat them as such."

The 2004 CCH Unscheduled Absence Survey, conducted for CCH by Harris Interactive® confirmed this trend. CCH found most employees who fail to show up for work, however, aren't physically ill, according to the survey. In fact, the study found only 38 percent of unscheduled absences are due to personal illness, while 62 percent are for other reasons, including family issues (23 percent), personal needs (18 percent), stress (11 percent) and entitlement mentality (10 percent).

One trend that also may be influencing the higher rate of unscheduled absences is the fact that the number of employers allowing employees to carry over sick time from one year to the next is trending downward and has dropped from more than one-half of companies (51 percent) in 2000 to 37 percent in 2004. As a result, employees may be saying, "I'd rather use it than lose it," noted Lori Rosen, J.D., CCH workplace analyst, and author of HR Networking: Work-Life Benefits.

But could you get away with saying you had to go to your mother's dog's funeral or that you had brain cancer? Would you believe an employee who had the swine flu, forgot the way to work, or was arrested because of mistaken identity? Think carefully, if you're debating calling in sick, here are some of the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work.


I was sprayed by a skunk.


I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.


My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.


I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


I forgot to come back to work after lunch.


I couldn't find my shoes.


I hurt myself bowling.


I was spit on by a venomous snake.


I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.


A hitman was looking for me.


My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.


I eloped.


My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.


My cat unplugged my alarm clock.


I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.


I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.


I forgot what day of the week it was.


Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.


A tree fell on my car.


My monkey died.
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COMMENTS

I'll admit that I've called in sick when I was well, but I come from an environment (health care) that considered 'mental health days' a valid excuse for taking a sick day. It was originated for the nursing staff who obviously had high stress, but I championed its application to some of the business areas as well. For example, do you know what it's like to be a registrar and enter the registration area at 6:30am on a Monday morning to face fifteen people about to receive colonoscopies and five barium enemas. Trust me, you'd trade places with the morgue attendant if you could.

I have only 'thrown a sicky' once in my life. It was a lovely day and my boyfriend phoned me at work and wanted me to go swimming in the river. Shortly after putting down the phone I started to develop a dreadful headache, I really had to go home! I have felt guilty about it for the past 40 years.

At present I am desperate to actually get back to work, I don't know if it will be Monday or another month or so. I never want another sick day off in my life.

I agree, Sue. Some days not only would I face those twenty colonoscopies and barium enemas, I'd GIVE them too. When I hear friends say that they'd give anything not to have to work any more, I warn them to be careful what they wish for, 'cause they just may get it.

Though I must say I miss hospital work terribly in theory, the reality of the situation is that today they are terrible places to work because of the health care mess here in the States. I remember the days when I literally could not wait to get to work I loved it so much. Then came the days when I dreaded hearing the alarm sound in the morning because it meant another day wondering what to eliminate or who to fire as financial concerns moved quality patient care to a secondary goal.

By the way, Sue, how would you rate the hospital care you received?

Oh boy have you just opened a can of worms!

The in-patient care has been first class all the way, couldn't fault it. Then we come to my latest situation...

I saw my cardiologist - Dr G (for gorgeous!), (who visits once a month and lives/works hundreds of miles away) on 24th September and mentioned to him that the cardiologist in London said to leave my kidney stones for at least three months after my open-heart surgery, I said I would leave it until January. Dr G said that I ought not leave it, that I should get them sorted as soon as the three months was up, not to return to work until the matter was resolved. I WAS going to go back to work on 10th October.

I contacted the urologist in the UK who did my lithotripsies and he said to get a CT scan done over here, then take the films to him in he UK, then he would decide on the next step.

That sounds easy to you BUT we are under two different health systems, virtually two different countries really. So the procedure would be for the urologist in the UK to write to my urologist here (and to my general practitioner) requesting that I have a CT scan done. They (or one of them) would send a request to the hospital here who would then write to me with an appointment. The results would be sent back to the doctor who requested the scan, he would then have to see me, then write to the urologist in the UK who would then send me an appointment to see him in the UK for ten minutes, he would then make arrangements for treatment.

I thought this was daft so asked if I couldn't have the CT scan done over there in the UK as they would need to take me off warfarin before treatment so I would be in their hospital already, I also need intravenous antibiotics. So what did he do? He sent me an appointment for a CT scan in the UK for 17th November and said he would do the procedure on 24th November. Then he said I might have to go in on 20th (fine) but the CT scan was still on 17th. I would also have to see a cardiologist over in the UK after documentation from vaious cardiologists/cardiac surgeons and my GP had arrived. Then he said that he is hoping not to have to do anything at all, just observe.

All this time I am at home on half pay just wanting to work.

Then all change again. He wrote requesting the CT scan here, this was arranged by my GP and I had it this morning. Got back and an hour later my mail arrived with a letter from the urologist over here sending me a request form for a CT scan and a letter telling me to take it to the hospital, have a scan then make an appointment to see him a week later. He would then communicate with the urologist in the UK! The films would be at the hospital, the urologist in the UK wants to see them, not get a report on them.

What could have been done and dusted in two weeks is still in the planning stage. The letter to me from the local urologist was dictated and dated 27th October, I received it on 3rd November because he isn't in his private office every day so will have signed the letter several days after it was dictated. Add that up for each stage of the procedure and we could be into the new year!

I keep sending emails to the secretary of the UK urologist and she send them on to him. I think they are fed up with me.

Going back to the hospital care...

When I had my stroke my GP was called to my home (yes they do home visits), he came and agreed that I had had a stroke and said I ought to go into hospital. He sent for an ambulance and contacted the hospital to tell them that I was on my way. I was admitted straight into the Medical Assessment Unit a a public patient. They then moved me into a female medical ward. Next morning, early and a Sunday, the consultant physician on call that weekend examined me and on my request said that as soon as a private room became free I could be transferred. I was moved to another ward for a night until finally my private room was available.

Within days my endocarditis was diagnosed, the stroke with me being a diabetic was a red herring. He visited me every day (including weekends), normally very early in the morning before he did his public patients. Then my heart valves started to leak. After a day or two he said they had deteriorated so much that he wanted me to be close to a team of cardiac surgeons (we are too small a community to support such a team). It was arranged for a 'plane to be chartered and for me to be flown to a centre of excellence in the UK accompanied by an ICU nurse, at no cost to me or my insurers. My care in the UK was free on the NHS. They did so many tests, it was rather nice to be carted all over the hospital and I got to know the porters quite well. It was a teaching hospital (had a medical school) so lots of students asked if they could listen to my murmers - they have to learn!

After discharge from that hospital a nurse travelled back to my local hospital with me to 'hand me over'. A few days later they sent me home to see how I would progress.

Then I had to go to the UK for angiography and another echo.

When it was decided that the surgery was urgent I was referred back to the cardiologist and cardiac surgeon in the UK, and as I wanted to have the work done privately I was sent to a private hospital which they used. Again treatment was first class.

After discharge I was taken ill on the journey to my daughter's home, spent five hours in the Emergency Department having all manner of tests - again free. They were going to keep me in hospital but decided to let me go instead, that is when I became progressively sicker. A few days later my daughter arranged for me to see her doctor who immediately telephoned for a bed then told us to get a taxi as it would be quicker than an ambulance.

At that hospital I was put into the emergency assessment unit and they ran batteries of tests ending in an ECG. Once that had been done they rushed my bed straight into the cardiac care unit. That was the complete heart block. The staff were wonderful, always cheerful and smiling. Nothing was too much trouble for them. I became awash with tea, they didn't like the hospital issue so bought special tea for the patients and served it in mugs bought by the staff, not the hospital issued plastic stuff.

When my daughter was coming into the hospital on her way from her wedding to her reception they washed me and changed my hospital gown for a nightgown my daughter has brought in. They also bought me some flowers and ribbon for a corsage.

When I had been there for long enough they helped me make arrangements for a flight home. They arranged for a volunteer driver to take me to the airport at 3.45am for an early flight, he stayed with me until I cleared security. they phoned my GP to make an appointment for later in the day that I arrived home. They also contacted my hospital to arrange for me to attend a warfarin clinic for my INR tests. Then they asked me to telephone them once I was safely home to let them know I was ok. All that was free, on the NHS again.

The NHS comes into its own for emergencies, fantastic. I had very senior doctors visiting me late at night, early mornings and so forth. It is only really the non-urgent stuff which suffers, you don't want to have a hip replacement or hernia repair - fo those you wait.

Now if only I can get my kidney stones sorted I will be one happy bunny.

About the Cat unplugging the clock one, it is possible, at laest I know it is with a dog, my mom came home from vacation freaked out because all of her plugs in one wall were pulled out. I thought for a bit and asked mom if she had left the curtain above the outlet open, she said yes, I told her it must have been her dog that did it, she goes and barks at passers-by all the time and could have easily pulled the plugs.

When I was younger I called in "sick" a couple of times, but the worst was when I called in so that I could stay in line for tickets to Star Wars Episode I, for which I'd been in line all night. *sheepish grin* I'm a geek. I know we've established that.

My husband and I have a strange schedule. I have two weeks (10 days) of paid vacation but no sick leave. He get's 10 days of each. But as a hold-over from when my industry was unionized I HAVE to take one of my weeks in a block rather than as individual days. Our Holidays do not overlap, either. I get the day after Thanksgiving off, he doesn't. He gets Christmas Eve off, I don't. And I have one floating holiday for my birthday, but he has three.

Now here's the kicker: The busiest time in my industry is May through October. The busiest time in his is December to January. What are the typical vacation times? Summer and over the holidays. I can't leave during the summer, he can't leave over the holidays. However, our daycare provider takes a week and a half in July and a week at the holidays, so Cory has to use a bunch of his vacation in the summer, but we can't go anywhere, and vice versa in the winter, when I have to take additional time off. This year we did not get to go on vacation because we had to arrange our schedules around our daycare provider and neither of us could take time off at the same time.

And here's the part that's actually on topci: In July when Cory had to stay home with Kit, his manager wouldn't let him take the entire time in vacation and there was just NO way I would be able to take the time off, so on Monday of the second week he had to call in sick, even though she KNEW he could not come in. That is not the first time that has happened. Most of the sick days Cory has taken since he worked for his present employer have been requested absences for child care issues that have not been granted.

I will say, the best REAL excuse for calling in sick that I've ever had was when I had my apendectomy. I was in the emergency room at 10:30 Sunday night, went through tests into the early morning, surgery at 4:00am and I woke in the recovery room around 7:00am on Monday morning. So promptly at 8:00am on Monday morning, with my throat still sounding positively hoarse from the anesthesia tube, I called my office and spoke to one of my coworkers who answered the phone. He thought I was faking it because my voice sounded so bad. I told him I'd just gotten out of surgery and he laughed at me. It took me a few moments to convince him I was telling the truth and he said, "Oh crap! Here's Luann!" My boss was much more sympathetic, although I was in good enough spirits that I made her laugh when I told her. "I probably won't make it in to work today. I had surgery at 4:00 this morning. But I can ask them to release me if you need me."

"I probably won't make it in to work today. I had surgery at 4:00 this morning. But I can ask them to release me if you need me."


I used an "excuse" like this once. I was pregnant and I went into labour 5 1/5 weeks early. My water broke at 5.30 a.m. and by 7.30 a.m. I was in the labour ward about to give birth.

At my insistence, my husband was desperately trying to track down someone from my office to let them know I wouldn't be in. When my boss got to work, one of the receptionists greeted him with "Carole won't be in today. She's just had a baby girl".

To which he replied "Oh great! Does this mean she hasn't done my typing?"

I guess I am one of those boring people that everyone dislikes. I never call in sick for work unless I am sick.

I just recently called in sick for the first time in six years. I had to take two days due to very bad cold. Highly unusual for me.

Bottom line, I really don't have a funny calling in sick story...sorry.

I think having an operation or giving birth are legitimate reasons for calling in sick, even if they are amusing ones! I hope you boss was kidding MG!
The best one I ever got to use was when I was coach at the birth of a friend's baby. I guess that wasn't really a sick day, as I used a vacation day and made all the arrangements in advance. However, given the nature of the day it was very last minute and had to be 'called in' when she went into labour.

Fortunately for everyone involved, I had my baby right on her due date, so everyone knew it was coming. And no, it wasn't induced. It just happens that my baby is extremely timely. But that IS a good one, MG!

Mikey, as far as I'm concerned it's not at all boring to never call in sick unless you're sick, and you're darn lucky that you've only had to call in sick once in six years!! I've been sick with a high fever four times in the last 2 months. It's one of the worst cold seasons in a while where I am and my daughter has been bringing all kinds of things home from daycare. So I have mostly had to take two days off at a time, one because I'm sick and one to stay home with her. It's really starting to tick me off, but at least we're into our slow season, so I'm not leaving piles of work on my desk! I just hate feeling yucky so much.

I'm unfortunate, like Lothruin, to have genuine need to call in sick quite often (except at the moment where my 'job' means that, short of my head falling off, calling in sick just isn't an option, but that's another story).

One of the worst receptions I got from an employer was when I broke my toe (sounds funny, but anyone who has ever done it knows those little things hurt a whole lot!) Still in the hospital, I managed to hobble to find a pay-phone which actually worked (this was pre-mobile technology) and call the office just before I was due in. Not to put too fine a point on it, far from sympathy and understanding, I got the sack!

Of course there was some background to it, but it wasn't the most brilliant start to a day I've ever had!

Oh no Sue...I'm sure it will be fine! What a horrible thing though, to leave you that to dwell on over the weekend.

Sue, perhaps they'll tell you that they found someone else to do your job, but they realized how much they needed you, so they've made a new, higher position for you with better pay and benefits.

Ing, I've had jobs like that, too. When I worked for the preschool, there had to be a certain number of teachers to children. HAD to be, by state law. So, if you couldn't find a substitute, you worked sick. The company I worked for didn't have enough subs, so I worked sick a lot. It's a really unfortunate circumstance, when you KNOW you're part of the reason why kids at daycare get so much stuff.

And when I worked for the goldsmith, I actually worked with a fever of 104 F once. At the time, the sales girls had both quit because they moved away and the office manager had quit to stay home with her son, so it was me and the owner. I was his assistant goldsmith, so I did most of the repair work and a lot of the custom work, plus I was the office manager and a sales person, all wrapped into one, and top it off that the insurance policy for a store of that type states that you must have two employees present when opening or closing the store, because of the value of merchandise in the safe, so I felt had to be there. If I recall correctly, he sent me home when he realized how sick I was, and had his daughter come in, but when I got out of bed that morning, I MUST have been delirious, because staying home just didn't seem like an option.

" I hope you boss was kidding MG!"

No he wasn't. I know that makes him sound like an ogre but, actually, he was one of the nicest people I've ever worked for. He was a bit self-centred though.

My daycare job is one of those - it's a question of having enough warm bodies to keep the adult to child ratio correct. So far we have never had to shut the door because of staff calling in sick but it's been close a few times. Once we called a mom whose job we knew was fairly flexible, and asked her to take her kid home, so that we could stay open.

Many years ago now, I went into the hospital for scheduled surgery. I had arranged for the week off, and told my boss what hospital I would be in. This particular hospital had phones at every patient's bedside (odd, really, I've never seen that anywhere else). Anyway, about fifteen minutes after coming down from the recovery room, still very groggy, the phone rings, and it's my boss - "Where'd you put the so and so file?"

I've only been to hospitals in my city, and once in Omaha, but all the hospitals here have private phones in the rooms. It used to be that there was one phone line per room, and the most beds in one non-private room were three, so it might happen that three people had to share the same phone line, but there was a phone at each bed to make it easier for the patients to reach the phones. But the last time I was in the hospital, though I didn't really think about it at the time, it seems to me that there was a separate phone line for each bed, because on a couple of occasions my husband or parents would call me and only my phone rang. Hmm. Anyway, I think that's fairly standard in the states. And in the hospitals in my city, you can't use your cell phone unless you're in a non-patient part of the hospital, like the lobby, cafeteria or a conference room, so it's good they provide phones for each patient, I think. Makes it so much nicer.

Due to the circumstances surrounding my appendectomy, my husband had to leave the hospital at around midnight with me still in the emergency room. He had our daughter, and we had no one to watch her, and she just couldn't sit/sleep in the waiting room, so he had to take her home and put her to bed and stay with her. It was really hard to be in so much pain, and feverish (my appendix, I'm told, came very close to killing me. I had some serious infection.) and on morphine and dog tired, and be alone. It was nice that even the emergency rooms had phones in them, so once Kit was asleep, my husband could keep me company until the surgery, even if he wasn't there to hold me hand. (OK, I admit it. All the liberated and liberal opinions aside, when it comes to my husband, I'm still a 'typical' woman. When I'm in pain, I want his strength to help me through. Call me weak. )

No, here you usually have to go down the hall to the pay phone. I guess that's socialized medicine for you

Sue -- I'm still scratching my head after reading what you went through with your recent course of treatment. I'm amazed that each step, when taken by itself, makes procedural/medical sense but when you add them all together, what a paper chase! What a complex and frustrating experience for one who should have had complexities and frustration kept to a minimum. Key questions like who does what where with whom and how would not have been answered had you not become directly involved. At times, it seems that the all-too-common tendency to 'pass the buck' was countered by too many people trying their best to be of help.

But the big picture is that, despite the paper chase and run-around, you have come through a harrowing, critical experience with good results. For that, we are all grateful.

Ah well, no more problems about phoning in sick or not - they dismissed me on my first day back at work. I arrived at 8.50 and left within half an hour.

It'll be their losss, Sue! They don't deserve you.

It isn't over yet, I have registered for a tribunal.

Good luck with that Sue.

I'm one of those who hardly ever had time off sick. In fact, I once went into work feeling very ill indeed. I got sent home by 'The Management' because they thought the pale green colour of my face would only upset the customers. Looking in the mirror, I could see what they meant.

Regarding lateness in getting to work. This once happened because the new pet budgie got loose. I had to spend some time persuading it back into the cage. It was a test of wills that the budgie almost won. Anyway, I naturally embroidered the struggle a bit when describing why I was late for work. 'The Management' reckoned it was the best made up excuse they'd heard in a long time. They never would believe it was true, even months after the event.