Just thought I'd share something amusing that happened at work last night. I was working a shift in labour and delivery and my patient was a young woman in active labour with her first baby. She was a trooper and was coping with the pain very well and the only pain medication she was taking was an occasional inhalation of nitrous oxide to dull the sharpest contractions. Her husband, however was not coping as well and was a white as a sheet. I had to step out of the room for a moment and when I returned, there was hubby, gas mask in hand breathing in for all he was worth. Nearly cracked me up. His poor wife was far less amused than I.

Just goes to show that God in his wisdom created women to bear the children because he knew men could not handle it! In all the deliveries I've attended, I've never seen a man after having his wife labour and deliver their child, offer to have the second.

Well, I'll have to admit - when things went wrong in a hurry and they prepped me for my first stat c section - my husband was a real trouper. Pale and weaving back and forth [ according to my girlfriend] he refused to leave my side, and watched my oldest daughter come into the world. I was always grateful for that gesture. It raised his brownie points considerably with me [ though he was already in very good standing!]

Mine arrived late, and left the flowers on the tube(he said)

Mine stayed with me for both babies - only leaving for a brief cat nap when the first one took so long.
He said the hardest bit for him was watching the epidural, but found the episiotomy interesting.
Of course I took isse with that - enjoyed watching them cut me did he?

My dear husband is like a rock sometimes. He did leave me, causing no small amount of concern on my part, but he only did so to let me sleep what I could and to sit with my mom and dad in the meantime. And the situation caused by his absence had more to do with the fact that my nurse's button thing was broken, so when I awoke after a short nap because my contractions were too strong to sleep through, I was alone in my room and there was no way for me to get someone there without either yelling or waiting patiently. I didn't want to yell, but waiting patiently wasn't something I was capable of. I was scared witless to find myself entirely alone. I think I started crying, and the nurse heard that, because when she came in all smartmouthy and said something about why didn't I just use the call button, she got even more snippy when she tested the call button I "claimed" was broken, and then she turned white as a ghost when she realized that it was.

Anyway, my husband arrived shortly thereafter, not because one of the nurses had stepped across the hall to the waiting area to inform him I was awake and asking for him, since that was too much work for them, but because he (in his words) got a feeling it was time he rejoined me. I think that was about the time things went silent. He never left my side, never let go of my hand, for the rest of the event. I stopped talking, didn't scream, cry, speak... I've never been that silent before in my life. And he just stood by my side holding my hand, he cut the cord while tears streamed down his face. He never flinched and he never waivered. He was great!

I'm here to say that I feel that like some of our ancestors, I now feel that not every man is made to attend the birth of his children. And in fact, perhaps this is a moment best shared by women whom we trust. I sound retro, but this is from personal experience.
I found that the company of the dounas and midwives who attended my second birth was what got me through and in fact, I worried about what he was scared about instead of taking care of the process at hand that was overwhelming during complications in an out of hospital birth.
I think that his panic was contagious as he does not panic normally.


Now I know that today, we are all saying how wonderful it is to have the man there, and I agree that for some it works and is great, but, sometimes, having the man close by but not in the scene of things is good too.

When I was in labour with coolcat90, Maynooth annoyed me intensely by pestering me to do the breathing as they had taught us in the antenatal classes. Of course, the state I was in, everything we learned in the classes had gone right out the window. "You're not breathing right", he nagged. My reply was unrepeatable.

As soon as she was born, the paediatrician whisked her away as she was 5 1/2 weeks premature. I started to get up off the table and the obstetrician pushed me back down with a "Now where do you think you're going". "I'm getting up". "No, you're not, I still have to stitch you up". I had not realised they had done an episiotomy. So, as I sank back down, still really annoyed with Maynooth, I instructed the obstetrician to "sew the bl**dy lot up"!

Coolcat90 is an only child.

My husband was out on a job when I went into labour with the first. I called his office, and asked them to send out a message to him - "contractions fifteen minutes apart, leaving for the hospital now". He showed up for the last hour or so, straight off the wellhead. It's a oilpatch hospital; they just showed him where to stash his hardhat, got him to wash his hands, and into the delviery room he came. Considering that he had not gone to any of the prenatal classes with me, and had only pretended to read any of the books I'd had at home the last nine months, and so therefore didn't really know what to expect, he was a rock. Quiet, quick, good at staying out of the way, but right there when needed. It's the kind of situation where it is really nice to have a man around who is experienced at keeping his head in a busy workplace, and good with his hands.
For the second kid, we were in the city, and had had a few setbacks in getting to the hospital (childcare for the older child, then a looooong train....) He took me in to get started at the paperwork, went to park the car. By the time he got back in and found me, we were in the last stages. By this time, he was an old hand - "No, doctor, if it's OK, I'LL cut the cord..."

This has been a nice thread for me, bringing those memories back. My marriage hasn't always been trouble free, and I'm enjoying looking back to a time when he was just so good to have around. I think I'll go give him a hug.

I think with women who aren't given to shouting and screaming, their husbands tend to freak out at not being able to help them. When I'd had this excruciating facial abcess lanced a few years prior to childbirth, he was right beside me, and even changed the dressing at home until we realized I needed a nurse to come over and do it. I probably gouged a hole in his thigh when the doctor did it.

But the thought of one's child being in trouble and one's spouse uncharacteristically losing her cool, that's harder to bear for some men.

heheh.

[ it's really not all that bad, you guys.]
What if your mothers had thought the way you both do? Then we would all simply pine away for want of comic relief around here!

Bruyere, it's funny you should say that. My husband did not, in fact, freak out, he being the sort of guy who just doesn't do that sort of thing, for whatever reason. But if he had been the sort of guy to freak out about his wife acting in an uncharacteristic way, he certainly would have, but for exactly the opposite reason! Did I mention above that I was absolutely silent through the whole thing? Yeah, um, you guys may not actually have noticed this, but I tend to be a bit wordy most of the time. It's worse in person. Just ask my husband. And I have a temper. So for me to just stop making sound entirely for almost two hours (and not be asleep) must have been about the most surreal part of the entire experience.

Ok, posting as a lone (male) voice in the wilderness here...

I was present for both of my kids' births. As the legend goes, the second one was easier (spoken like a true male!), and relatively uneventful, except for another whisking away because of, well, I won't go into gory details here. The first one, Junior Wonderful, was the first one, and a trip into uncharted territory for both of us.
The contractions started coming around 2 in the afternoon, and I got the phone call at work. Unfortunately, I worked about an hour away, in a small office. I told the boss that I had to go, and he said, 'Ok, but can you do a couple of deliveries on the way?'. A sales rep took pity on me and gave me his car, rather than the delivery van that I had.
Anyway, I got home about 5.30, and we went to the hospital. They said it was too early, so we went back home again. About 8.30, the contractions were getting a bit too frequent for her liking, so we went back to the hospital. This time, they decided to keep her there, so I took up position beside the bed.
After a veeerrryy long night, Jr decided that he'd come out at 8.12am. Problems occurred, as mentioned before, and she was whisked away for surgery, but I had a little feller to be proud of after a marathon night of exactly no sleep.
I rang work to tell them about it, and the boss said, 'That's great! When are you coming in?'. I said, 'I haven't slept all night, Brian.'. He said, 'We're short-staffed'. So, I drove an hour back to work, did a full day's work, drove back home, got woken up at traffic lights by the guy behind me, picked up my mother on the way through, went back up the hospital, and was a proud Dad again!
And you girls reckon you do all the hard work!

>>>> And you girls reckon you do all the hard work!


Yah, you're a real peach, Dal.

My little blokes Dad couldn't be there for the birth, no way around it, but in hindsight perhaps it was a good thing ... he only would've peeved me off going on about how cold/hot it was, how much he didn't want to be there and so on, LOL. Instead I had my Mum who pretty much did jsut that but when she was first to hold the little bloke, tears in the eyes, she got a memory to last a lifetime and was all worthwhile. awwwwww

This is a Grandmother's story. The second grandchild was on its way to be born and my parents got the call from my Brother who was on his way to the hospital with my sister in law.

Parents get in car drive to hospital to give them support and sit with my Brother.This was before Father's were let into the delivery Room.

Everything went well and baby was cleaned up and shown to the proud Papa and Beaming Grandparents their first Grandson.

They decide to go to the nursey and admire the little angel then go home.

They got to the window just as the nurses were flying out he door with their grandson who had suddenly turned blue and wasn't breathing well.

When they tried to find out what was going on they were ignored and oh oh my Mom got mad and grabbed the doctor by the front of his coat and said in a very controlled but firm voice you have 3 seconds to tell us what is wrong with our Grandson or Lord help you.

Meanwhile my Brother and Father are trying to get her to let the Doctor go and she just said I want a answer and I want it now.
He knew she meant business so explained sometimes that happens to new borns and he would be ok but please he had to go and would be back to talk to them asap.

Anyway to make a long story short the baby was ok but my Sister in Law said she got alot of attention from the Doctor and the baby was very spoiled by all the nurses.

Never upset a new Grandmother she can hurt you.
My Brother loves telling that story. My First nephew was and is her favorite.

PF

It's true. But so can mothers. Mine broke the nurse's nose while in labour with Gar, and was subsequently charged with assault. She had wanted an epidural throughout the labour but an anaesthetist has only just become free about 6 hours in. She was then hold that it was too late for her to have one, and she flew off the handle. Needless to say she managed to have Gar without one, and the nurse needed more care afterwards than my mother did. Hehe...

And I might be offended by this poist if it weren't so damned true.

That's a pity trifle. At least for me it's a very deliberate choice not to have the children. I am lucky that I married the right man, who feels the same way about it that I do. For the record, and without getting into the finer points of it, I also know my body does not take well to being pregnant...

And as to my mother not feeling the same way I do, well, I know she did really want another child (ie me) though after my brother I can't imagine why! And for my part I struggled really hard to be born - mother was told she'd miscarried, but luckily they worked out in time that I was hiding in there as well as my less fortunate 'twin' - so I figure there must be some reason I'm meant to be here. And if that reason is to provide moments of levity for my fine forum friends, then I shall feel my struggle was worthwhile!