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#326996 - Thu Oct 19 2006 05:45 AM My Dad
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12421
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
This is an open invitation for you to write in praise of your Dad.
Mine was an amazing guy. He worked for the BBC and was sent abroad as a BBC War Correspondent, and most interestingly to me, he was here in Hong Kong at the Japanese Surrender. He wrote to my mum on a daily basis, and I have every letter. He was an excellent photographer, some of his pictures are breathtaking of China especially, during the 40s when he took a trip down the Yangtse in a steamer. His friend was Ed Ward , who later became head of Outside Broadcasting. Ed wrote a book about their China trip and my Dad did the pictures. On return to UK he went to work in Outside broadcasting and was responsible for the camerawork for Coronation,Royal Weddings, Glyndbourne and many special events. His work was much appreciated and the envelope I have , labelled 'Dad', contains a letter from the Queen, thanking him for the splendid work carried out by his team.
I was, and still am, extremely proud of him, and I am so glad that I was able to write and tell him how I felt , before he died. He was completely blind by then, but my step mum read my letter to him and he was thrilled. What I suppose I am saying to you is,I urge you to let your dad know how you feel about him as soon as you can. It might have been too late for me. I am glad I did. Let's hear it for Dads! HERE HE IS


Edited by ren33 (Thu Oct 19 2006 06:07 AM)
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#326997 - Thu Oct 19 2006 06:18 AM Re: My Dad
skunkee Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Thu Oct 16 2003
Posts: 10552
Loc: Burlington Ontario Canada  
My dad lost his lifemate, and my mother, to cancer when he was only 45 years old. He was determined that her last days would be among family, and not strangers, so we learned how to administer her morphine and make her as comfortable as possible.
His love for her was such that he would have willingly died beside her, except fot the fact he had four kids who needed him so much.
Thirty-three years later, he is adored by his 4 children and their various partners, and his seven grandchildren, who love going to visit him, because of the verbal sparring he engages them in. His sense of humour is as keen as his intelligence, and he still runs his own business (although he regularly announces that every year will be his last!)
He has dated a little over the years, and even became engaged once, but was never able to find anyone who was able to replace my mother, so remains single.

Thank you Ren, for the opportunity to share how special he is. Sounds like your dad was a pretty amazing man as well.
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#326998 - Thu Oct 19 2006 08:15 AM Re: My Dad
Gamemaster1967 Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Dec 18 2002
Posts: 6086
Loc: Richmond TX
I LOVE these stories about fathers. I had no father. Well, I had a granddad, who was a great guy, and an awful stepfather. But, my own father was not present in my life. It had a negative affect on my self-esteem, though not an insurmountable one. Thanks so much for sharing these stories!
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#326999 - Thu Oct 19 2006 09:28 AM Re: My Dad
jarsma63 Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sat Jun 24 2006
Posts: 2017
Loc: Michigan USA  
My dad, even though we butt heads constanly, has always been there especially in the bad times. Good man, but my mother deserves the same, if not more praise. I have been very lucky, and extremely blessed with them.
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"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Cor 13:13).

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#327000 - Thu Oct 19 2006 09:59 AM Re: My Dad
JaneMarple Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Jan 30 2004
Posts: 14480
Loc: North West of England
Dad was extra special. Just a regular Dad, he'd leave Mum to the majority of the decisions, concerning the house, holidays etc. He two grand-daughters thought the world of him...so did his two daughters. He was such a great Dad, and me and Mum miss him a lot. But he'll never be that far away.
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#327001 - Thu Oct 19 2006 10:23 AM Re: My Dad
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12421
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
Thanks, Jane. I am glad you were able to talk about him, I know it is not long at all.
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#327002 - Thu Oct 19 2006 06:29 PM Re: My Dad
satguru Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Thu Feb 17 2000
Posts: 7633
Loc: Kingsbury London UK           
Wow Ren, he is very much like Kenneth More! My father is pretty similar to Arthur Miller, and the older they became the closer they looked. My father is younger and doesn't like the comparison but I wouldn't complain being compared with such a great writer!
I learned all I know about helping others from him, and though we frequently get taken full advantage of as a result it's better than rationing your time and letting people sort things out themselves. If only I could interest him in computers he could join in here, except he won't learn to type. I leave a computer there so I can keep in touch wherever I am but he prefers to wait till I'm on it if he wants to find anything out. He would be very useful on Ask Funtrivia though, I test many of my questions on him and he gets more than most.
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#327003 - Thu Oct 19 2006 11:48 PM Re: My Dad
nic1990 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Thu Sep 07 2006
Posts: 412
Loc: South Australia
Gamemaster1967, i can relate. I only just recently found out that the father i had thought to have been my biological father, was in fact not, and had decided to adopt me as his own when my mum married him in 1994.

My 'dad-dad' is a wonderful figure in my life, and has always taught me in life to be proud of who i am, and the choices that i make in life. He also taught me to appreciate the things in my life, as tomorrow, they may not be there.

My 'biological' father, or Peter as i was told, left my mother when she was 12 weeks pregnant with me. I have not, and am not able to seek contact with him until i turn 18. The decision to find him will be one i consider greatly when i am old enough to.


Edited by nic1990 (Fri Oct 20 2006 09:05 PM)

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#327004 - Fri Oct 20 2006 05:42 AM Re: My Dad
nic1990 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Thu Sep 07 2006
Posts: 412
Loc: South Australia
Also, if anyone knows of a way to get in contact with lost family members throughout England, help would be greatly appreciated

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#327005 - Fri Oct 20 2006 06:47 AM Re: My Dad
sue943 Offline
Administrator

Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 37363
Loc: Jersey
Channel Islands    
Will contact you by PM on this one.
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Many a child has been spoiled because you can't spank a Grandma!

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#327006 - Sat Oct 21 2006 10:53 AM Re: My Dad
lothruin Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Wed Nov 12 2003
Posts: 2165
Loc: Nebraska USA
My dad is one of the best men in the world. I know I'm biased, but I think it's true. I was blessed with extremely pro-active parents. My friend, of whom I spoke recently in the other thread, remembers childhood with my dad as a major character, whereas even before her parents split, her dad was more the authoritarian and less actually involved in play and education, etc. My parents took on the school board to make sure my sister and I got the educations we deserved, and they never shirked their duty to be even more important to our intellectual growth than the schools we attended.

Of course, my dad disciplined, and both my parents were fairly strict in their rules, but they were not the "Because I said so" types. He took the time to explain the importance of any rule he expected us to follow, and in that way we were able to see that we could never really use "but it's not fair" with either of my parents. Because it always was entirely fair, and honestly for our own good.

He always found a way to relate to us as children, casting off the shackles of adulthood to enjoy our childhood with us, and that is something I employ with my own child. He's the type of man that can make any crying child stop and laugh. And he genuinely cares about children with whom he is close, not always his own. When my friend's parents did split up, leaving their mother to raise two girls and a newly born son, he became the father figure to my friend's little brother. And when we had an opportunity to improve our situation somewhat by moving to a new neighborhood, a larger house, it almost broke his heart, we almost didn't move, just because he didn't want to leave my friend and her siblings without a man they could trust. I've said that my friend is like a sister to me, and her little sister was my sister's best friend... my parents almost thought of them as their own children, and it was very hard for my dad to leave them behind, so to speak.

Through the choices he made in his own life, he taught us girls that it is never too late to realize one's dreams, as he quit a good, family-supporting job to take flying lessons, which eventually became his life's work. And incidentally, his love of aeronautics and space exploration rubbed off on we kids, as well it would considering the amount of time we spent at the airport as children. He took us with him often, and we had great adventures. My sister got to ride on an Argosy, a rare and beautiful airplane which you brits and aussies might know better than we Americans, there are only a few examples here in the states, but they were used by both the British and Australian air forces, and were used as airlines in the earlier days... This is just one example of the many amazing experiences he opened up to us by never discluding us from his hobbies and employment.

I have never known a man with more integrity. When I was in high school, and it seemed our way of life was falling apart around our ears, my dad stepped up to the challenge and started his own business, which turned out eminently successful, as it would have to with him in charge. And then, when people asked, I said that my mother was my best friend and my father was my hero, and that hasn't changed in the intervening years. Now I see his actions from an adult perspective, and I am still impressed with the unswerving ethics with which he carried on his business, and how he made that the biggest asset of his company, in a world where it is often the less scrupulous people who succeed.

I'm a daddy's little girl, all grown up now, with a husband and a child of my own, and even daddies have to take a back seat to husbands, but he's still my hero, and my most beloved daddy. And he always will be.
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Goodbye Ruth & Betty, my beautiful grandmothers.
Betty Kuzara 1921 - April 5, 2008
Ruth Kellison 1925 - Dec 27, 2007

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#327007 - Sat Oct 21 2006 10:56 AM Re: My Dad
agony Offline

Administrator

Registered: Sat Mar 29 2003
Posts: 14917
Loc: Western Canada
My husband's dad died yesterday, these stories are resonating strongly. My own dad is 92, nearly 93, and still going more or less strong.

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#327008 - Sat Oct 21 2006 11:14 AM Re: My Dad
lothruin Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Wed Nov 12 2003
Posts: 2165
Loc: Nebraska USA
Oh, agony! Extend my condolences!
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Goodbye Ruth & Betty, my beautiful grandmothers.
Betty Kuzara 1921 - April 5, 2008
Ruth Kellison 1925 - Dec 27, 2007

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#327009 - Sat Oct 21 2006 11:19 AM Re: My Dad
sue943 Offline
Administrator

Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 37363
Loc: Jersey
Channel Islands    
Mine to, and to you at this time as you must also be distressed.
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Many a child has been spoiled because you can't spank a Grandma!

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#327010 - Sat Oct 21 2006 11:27 AM Re: My Dad
agony Offline

Administrator

Registered: Sat Mar 29 2003
Posts: 14917
Loc: Western Canada
Thank you. His mother died in early August; this is just too much, too soon.

ren's right - if they are still alive, let them know that you love them, say the things you are only thinking.

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#327011 - Sat Oct 21 2006 01:00 PM Re: My Dad
JaneMarple Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Jan 30 2004
Posts: 14480
Loc: North West of England
Really really sorry to hear that Agony. A little reminder to people lucky enough to have their Dads ( and Mums ) still with them...tell them that you love them
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My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

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#327012 - Sat Oct 21 2006 05:28 PM Re: My Dad
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12421
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
<tell them that you love them>
That was my main message, Jane.
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Wandering aimlessly through FT since 1999.

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#327013 - Sat Oct 21 2006 09:04 PM Re: My Dad
skunkee Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Thu Oct 16 2003
Posts: 10552
Loc: Burlington Ontario Canada  
Oh agony I am so sorry.
What a terrible thing to have to go through.
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Editor: Movies/Celebrities/Crosswords

"To insult someone we call him 'bestial'. For deliberate cruelty and nature, 'human' might be the greater insult." - Isaac Asimov

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#327014 - Sun Oct 22 2006 01:03 AM Re: My Dad
Bruyere Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Sat Feb 10 2001
Posts: 18797
Loc: California USA
Agony, sorry it's finally come to pass. I hope the family's going to be ok during this troubled time. I know you often carry a lot of burdens on your shoulders, but, take care of yourself as well.

I also am relishing the quality time I've spent recently with my dad. He's a teacher, retired now for almost ten years, but he still substitutes. He helps all of us on projects whenever we need him and, I've needed his help this past three years.
I think I'm the only one who reads music and he's composing it on his keyboard...and he's given me copies.
He also makes math puzzles out of wood in the form of pyramids and other geometric forms. The grandchildren understand them more than us four kids. He's taking them round to math teachers around the area.
I had him over to my new place this summer, to help fix some things...and we had a heat wave. The air conditioner failed, began to flood the flooring we'd had put in, and we just enjoyed the visit anyway. I got to take him out to the restaurants he liked, and at night, we'd read or listen to the little radio.
After so many years a long ways away, these three or four days were precious to me as they were relaxed.
When you cram a family visit to the States in a week or so, it's not easy...plus you can't just sit around and reminisce as you have your own brood to take care of.
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#327015 - Sun Oct 22 2006 01:14 AM Re: My Dad
picqero Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Tue Dec 28 2004
Posts: 2813
Loc: Hertfordshire<br>England UK
In these discussions on dads, can we also spare a thought for the innocent children who lose their dads to terrorists, suicide bombers, war-lords, AIDS and other diseases, throughout the world.
There often appears to be a terrible misconception that 'life is cheap' in so-called 'third world' or developing countries. Life is never cheap, and the grief and tragedy suffered by families who've lost loved ones is the same in Iraq, Darfur, or nations devastated by AIDS, as it is for those of us in western society.
My own dad died when I was fifteen, leaving me as the 'man of the house' with a sick and grieving mother, and a young sister. It's always been a source of considerable sadness that he never got to see that we both made a success of our lives, travelled the world, and have delightful children and grand-children.


Edited by aramis (Sun Oct 22 2006 01:14 AM)

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#327016 - Sun Oct 22 2006 07:40 AM Re: My Dad
Gamemaster1967 Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Dec 18 2002
Posts: 6086
Loc: Richmond TX
Linda I am sorry for all the loss you've experienced as of late. You are so in my prayers right now!
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#327017 - Sun Oct 22 2006 09:10 AM Re: My Dad
Gatsby722 Offline
Pure Diamond

Registered: Fri May 18 2001
Posts: 123698
Loc: Canton
Ohio USA    
*Sorry to hear about your loss, agony. Many good and real thoughts are with you*

My Dad was, in terms of everything definitive, a "nobody". The kind of guy who walked down the road and nobody noticed. Ah, but he came to be seen as so much more (people spent any number of hours trying to catch up with him as his time slipped away - "How did we miss this one?", "How did he learn so much?", "Where did that genuine kindness of spirit slip through the cracks?", etc.). He was only a man who straightened axles at the Ford Motor Company plant for 30 years time, after all. No degrees, no impressive wardrobe, absolutely NO skills when it came to conversation(s) mostly (but he always did drive the coolest car on the block). But my Dad appreciated everything! The things that he had and the things that he didn't and he knew the importance of all of it, and in his own discreet way, saw to it that I noticed it all, too. With him it was never a matter of what was there to count but much more so a matter what was 'out there' somewhere to count. At his funeral I wrote his eulogy and mentioned that, there was a time, that my Father scared me. There was a time that was true, and I tried to explain to the visitors what I meant. Dad told me, not too long before he died, that "I didn't have to worry much about his funeral because no one would come." Imagine that they had to open up a second parking lot for the traffic of mourners at the funeral home. I've never seen a turnout like it! Dad scared me? Yes, I guess so. But only because he didn't know the power and grace he had on so many people. And I never, not really so long before I 'grew up', knew the blessed and untouchable influence he had on me. I was lucky and I got to tell him so. I was luckier even more that he knew it without my opening my mouth.
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"The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful." ... H. L. Mencken


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#327018 - Mon Oct 23 2006 09:36 AM Re: My Dad
SilverMoonsong Offline
Moderator

Registered: Sun Nov 07 1999
Posts: 3976
Loc: Durham, North Carolina USA
I've been trying to figure out what to say here. What could I possibly say about my dad that you already don't know I got to share him with all of you, so you know what kind of person he was. I also think I said everything that needed saying in the gunslinger thread. He was my hero.

agony, you are in our thoughts and prayers.
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#327019 - Wed Oct 25 2006 06:16 PM Re: My Dad
ClaraSue Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun May 18 2003
Posts: 7837
Loc: Arizona USA
My biological father passed away when I was young and my mother remarried when I was nine years old. I consider my step-father to be my dad. He raised my sister and me as if we were of his own blood and I am proud to call him Daddy. That's right, I'm in my mid-40's and I still say "daddy". We've had our ups and downs, but I know that he would give up his life for me, my sister, and my mother and for that, I will love him forever. I think one of the greatest things about him is his love for my mother. He never says a bad word about her and he is so protective of her. He raised us to think for ourselves, have a strong work ethic, and be respectful of others. I wrote him a letter a few years ago telling him what he meant to me so I know that if anything happens to me, he'll know how important he has been in my life. To copy what Silver has said, he is my hero.

And Silver, I wish I had known your dad, but by the time I really got going here at FT, Gunslinger had passed on. He sounded like such a wonderful person.
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