This just in from an upmarket news agency

: American ban on vegemite lifted because, "We have come to realise that the volatile and extremely combustible properties of Vegemite contain all the power needed to lift a Space Shuttle clear into the next galaxy," this was said (allegedly) by Major Domo General Leviticul Drone of the AAF (or something like that). He went on to say, "Such a mission may well, indeed most certainly shall, entail the loss of the crew and more importantly the loss of the shut..." he was interrupted here by a PR man but continued nevertheless, "We have with all due thought (can I spell potatoe

)therefore passed this glorious opportunity on to our allies....the Brits.

"
Tony Blair has said (allegedly and accompanied by much toothy, simpering

)) "Oh goody,

oh wow.

..super...

.crikey

; so grateful, what can I say? Wow super." he then apparently wagged his bottom in a quite fetching fashion.
Just in: VmFA (vegemite fleet of Australia) sinks whilst carrying vegemite to the USA and trying to rule the waves: Coral reef disappears: Philipines on alert: Vegemite slick surrounds Australia: huge vegemite cloud appears over Australia as bathers plunge into coastal waters and consume vast quantities of vegemite, sea water and dead sea life; unfortunately, all suffer a severe and extremely embarrassing blast of meteorism at precisely the same moment

: Australia begs for help: landslide, deforestation, immediate erosion of coast-line, Australia now the size of the Isle of Man

: US president

orders that all Marmite soldiers be released from their ethnic shelves in US Supermarkets and sends them to save the world

.
The curse of Vegemite is only temporarily averted. In view of current events we have decided to boil down our old Beefeaters (guardians of the Tower) and make a 'Superspread' but this is merely a temporary measure - for with crusty skins, a dab of butter, a cup of tea, there can be only ONE. The Marmite soldier rules.
