This is such a great thread to re-read again. I can't believe it's been 2 years since I posted Titanic as the worst film I've ever seen. Boy did I get bashed by some for that one lol. As odd as it is, I also got supported by many. It's amazing to me that some of the films mentioned by some people are some of my personal favorites. What a diversity of opinion we have.
Of course there are worse films, but even after two years, and by virtue of the money spent on it and the hype surrounding it, I still select Titanic as the worst movie of all time.

Most irritatingly pretentious film of all time? How about Last Tango in Paris?

I thought "American Beauty" was okay until about mid-way through and then it became irritatingly pretentious.

Can film criticism be pretentious? I can't watch "Chocolat",
among some other films, because the critics who've given these movies such great reviews seem so full of themselves!
I may be missing on some good movies but I hate high-brow
artsy-fartsy movie reviews. And they never seem to review
"Weekend At Bernies" in that fashion.

"Ulee's Gold" was really irritatingly pretentious. After hearing so much good about the movie and Peter Fonda's award nominating role, I was anxious to see it. Instead, I was glad I saw it on video so as to fast forward through all the dull spots
and those seemingly never ending scenes of Fonda driving his truck.

"Pi", now there's a headache inducing pretentious film. It has a good premise to it but it was pretty unwatchable for me.

I went through the thread and copied the titles people have nominated for "Worst Film of All Time" that I personally thought were good movies or at least OK:

Blair Witch: It's a low budget unconventional horror film. I think it got nominated here so much because people outside its natural audience heard about it and went to a movie they should've known they'd hate. As a horror film, it succeeded.

Natural Born Killers: Excessive, yes. Violent, yes. Worst movie of all time, no.

American Beauty: Just because a movie is for grown ups doesn't make it bad. This film is more realistic than some people like to think. Middle-aged males really do think about sex with attractive teens. Homophobia does exist. American Beauty is the sort of film I call a comedy of discomfort. If you hated it stay away, far, far away, from films like Happiness and The House of Yes.

Army of Darkness: I can understand thinking this movie was pretty bad, but there's a lot worse.

Pulp Fiction: Just because a movie doesn't have a conventional structure doesn't make it bad. For some reason I enjoyed watching people walk out of the theater both times I saw it at the theater.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Not a great movie but not the worst. Also an influential film in that after it came out UFO cranks started reported seeing "grays" that looked just like the little guys in Close Encounters.

Taxi Driver: Whoever nominated this must've been high. Next.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: OK, a pretty bad film, but as a sometime horror fan it has a nostalgic hold on me.

Zulu: About the worst I could say about this movie is that it's racist, in a pandering way. It's of trivial interest too as (if I recall correctly) Michael Caine's first starring role.

Brazil: Just because a movie is surrealistic doesn't mean it's bad.

Home Grown: An OK little movie about marijuana growers starring Billy Bob Thornton and featuring a cover of "Pass the Dutchy" by Buck-O-Nine. What's not to like?

The Fisher King: I hate Robin Williams and still I thought this movie was OK.

Das Boot: Some people like submarine movies, some people don't. If a war movie gets good reviews and you don't like war movies chances are you still won't like the movie, even if it's in German. Make that especially if it's in German, and that goes for native speakers.

Good Will Hunting: Again, Robin Williams is a plague of spastic colons but this movie didn't suck.

Something About Mary: This movie is about as funny as they get. If it made your worst of all time list, stay away from comedies in general.

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover: Yeah, it's an art movie, so what? If you don't like art movies, don't go see them.

Monster's Ball: You know, I've seen some porn, and it never made me think about the history of the south. If you couldn't get past the sex scene, don't watch movies rated R or M or whatever your local rating for mature audiences is.

Mulholland Drive: I made fun of this one a few times while watching it but it was pretty good for a puzzle movie. Some people should just avoid David Lynch. Er, probably most people really, except for The Elephant Man.

Caddyshack: Oh, come off it. You're not supposed to watch this one once you're over 17 anyway.

It's A Wonderful Life: Who gave the Grinch an internet connection? Picking on this movie is like pointing out that the Queen is ugly.

From Hell: I wouldn't call it a great movie or maybe even a good movie but I liked how it looked and didn't bust out laughing at it too often.

Pi: How can anybody hate a movie about math? Er... let me rephrase that... um... it had some good points and I found it watchable.

Long story short, just because a movie isn't your sort of movie doesn't make it bad. There are good and bad horror movies, war movies, romance movies, art movies, teen comedies, porn movies. I can see how some of these movies may have been disappointing because some of them have or had a big reputation or great reviews, but disappointing doesn't make a film bad. Chances are people heard a lot of talk from their friends or on TV about these movies and ended up seeing something different than what they like. Calling these movies the worst of all time is just badly mistaken. There's a lot worse out there. If you haven't seen worse than, say, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, you must not've seen many movies. You can see a lot worse during any given week on broadcast television.

Like what? I'll tell you what. The worst movie of all time, far far worse than any on this list is Donnie and Marie Goin' Coconuts. Worse than Heaven's Gate, worse than Ishtar, worse than Glen or Glenda. You can't even see it any more, that's how bad it is. I may be wrong but I think it's an international crime to own a copy. Donnie and Marie Goin' Coconuts gave me curvature of the spine and killed my dog. That's how bad it is.

Thinking back on the movies nominated in this thread there is one that may rival DAMGC, and that's the 2002 version of Swept Away. I haven't seen it but the name rang a bell and I looked it up on rottentomatoes.com. It got a 6%, which is the worst I've ever seen there, plus it stars Madonna. The blurb from the only positive review is as follows: "Sound the trumpets: For the first time since Desperately Seeking Susan, Madonna doesn't suck as an actress."
-- Owen Gleiberman, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

Other blurbs:

"It's hard to imagine another director ever making his wife look so bad in a major movie."

"New ways of describing badness need to be invented to describe exactly how bad it is."

"Glazed with a tawdry B-movie scum."

"Not just unlikable. Disturbing. Disgusting. Without any redeeming value whatsoever."

So go rent Swept Away and then you'll have a decent pick for worst movie you've ever seen although I wouldn't be surprised if some poor boob liked it.

I'm going to go start a thread about movies that are just bad, not the worst ever.

You made a good point about individual taste and any number of the films nominated in this thread. Then you fell into your own trap and suggested that Heaven’s Gate was a bad (not the worst) film. How can you possibly justify this assertion? Heaven’s Gate is unquestionably the greatest Western ever screened. Please justify your contention.

I was wondering when someone would mention 'Mars Attacks'.

How about 'What Planet are You From?' Gary Shandling (a silly boy) and Annette Bening (Gary is a friend)

Jumanji and many other movies with Robin Williams

As for 'Titanic'---on an episode of Friends someone criticized Titanic and Joey was quick to say 'Those two were in Love!!'
It's the song that gets me --'Near, Far, Wherrrrevvvver You Arrrrre...'

There are so many more.

*POSSIBLE SPOILER*
I recently made myself watch a movie starring Charlie Chaplin simply because I love him. It was a "talkie" called Limelight, and I really,really,really did not like it at all. Maybe it was because I was tired;maybe it was because it was TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG! Who knows? But it seems to me that in the end they had really no where to go with the characters so...KILL ONE OF 'EM!! I will say this! Claire Bloom (the young actress who played Chaplin's love interest) was just adorable.

This thread has grown over the years!

I just saw they'd released Goldmember on DVD and recalled one of the most disagreeable evenings with my kids watching that film. I cannot believe that I see about three films a year in the cinema and I saw that..even my ten year old didn't laugh that much, though I'm sure the film was aimed at kids his age.
I actually preferred Scooby Doo!
I suppose I enjoy silly movies with slapstick humour, when you've got kids it's an asset, but Lord a mercy, Goldmember was bad.

I cannot fathom how come you can put so much dough into a film, and then, completely fail to make jokes that work, if it had been a sitcom plot they'd have been rejected outright for some of these films.

I am pretty picky though, I want funny movies to make my mascara run down my cheeks...and I have yet to see anything lately in the cinema.

By the way, that Donny and Marie sounds funny...how come I missed that one? We used to go to festivals of bad films, it was the fashion on my day and age.
The one we always saw was the one where they landed on mars...cannot remember the title..but it was considered the worst of all time...
I think some bad films, the older ones, are masterpieces of kitsch and enjoyable in their own right.

Cast Away, still high on my list...Gee, Tom Hanks went to my alma mater, I feel kind of bad, but, if they'd cut off a half an hour it would have worked better. I suppose if Wilson his volleyball friend could have answered back, it might have worked well, but noooooo.

I like films that aren't pretending to be something they're not...I don't see too many, therefore, if it's corn, then it's fine, if it's a drama, then fine...adventure then fine...but don't do a corny film like Goldmember that could be as funny as Get Smart in its prime and make it so unfunny. The only gag I liked was the doing the splits thing...

Tiel, I only mention Heaven's Gate as a proverbial bad movie, the movie people think of as really bad one. I haven't seen it nor Ishtar nor Glen or Glenda. All I said was is that in my opinion Donnie and Marie Going Coconuts was a lamer movie than any of those, although obviously I'm working second-hand on three of them.

However, I can say that DAMGC didn't bankrupt United Artists, didn't help lead to the western's demise, has never (so far as I know) been accused of leading to the death of the auteur, nor been associated with the (temporary) end of the epic Hollywood movie and the rise of the safe sequel and bad sci-fi and teen strings. Just saying. I mean, as a fan of seventies films, UA, westerns and epics, Heaven's Gate and specifically Cimino have some things to answer for.

I feel disappointed in you that after making such an excellent point in your first post, "just because a movie isn't your sort of movie doesn't make it bad" you went on to rubbish three movies that you had not seen based on media comments alone. It seems to me that it is a grossly unfair practice if nothing else and of course it propagates opinions about these films which may not be justified.

The comments you do make about "Heaven’s Gate" make it neither a good film nor a bad film. What counts is what ends up on the screen and this movie is exceptional. If you are as you say a fan of Westerns I cannot understand why you have not seen it? I recommend you do so at the earliest opportunity. I also note that whilst one of the charges you make against it is undeniably true the rest of the charges are almost totally groundless. In particular the idea that there has been a demise of the Western rather than increased interest in other genres is unsupportable. Chimino released "Heaven’s Gate" in 1980.

The Grey Fox, 1983
Silverado, 1985
Pale Rider, 1985
Young Guns 1988
Lonesome Dove (TVM) 1989
Dances with Wolves, 1990?
Unforgiven, 1992
Tombstone, 1993
Dead Man 1995/6
The Quick and the Dead, 1995
&c.

The Western genre was alive and kicking up to the late 1990s at least!

Grinch, huh? Well I prefer the animated "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" to that depressing "It's A Wonderful Life"
anyway. "IAWL" was good until the introduction of the angel character and from then on it was down hill bad. Can't a
person learn to cherish what they have on their own or without the help of a celestial spirit?- that would have been a better
story, in my opinion. I didn't buy the bleak alternative world without Jimmy Stewart's character. I didn't at all buy the fate of bleak alternative world Donna Reed's character. Perhaps
the angel conjured up the bleakest exaggerated scenerio
possible to help insure he'd get his wings. I thought this fantasy set-up was depresssing and a cop-out. I remember
it gave me the holiday blues. But I did love Saturday Night Live's take-off on the film with their own new ending.

See, yeah, clever little jokes like that SNL skit wouldn't even exist without IAWL so if you dug it you could give the movie half a star right there.

Of course the way you put it makes me think that IAWL has an essentially narcissistic theme disguised as a caring theme, which is disturbing, maybe disturbing enough to take the half a star back.

Re-reading I notice I blew off TH's last post. OK, here goes.

The western died. For all of the 1980s you can only list, what, five movies and one is a TV movie. Even after the critical and financial successes of Dances with Wolves and Unforgiven, there's still not much happening with westerns. You strike me as the type who might have a reference book about movies. Take a peek at how many were made in the 60s and 70s and compare that to how many were made after Heaven's Gate. I'm willing to bet that all the westerns made in the years after HG are far out-numbered by the ones made in a single one of those decades.

For another thing, dangit, I said Donnie and Marie Goin' Coconuts was WORSE. Sight unseen, I figured that those "worst of all time" movies that always turn up on people's lists of really bad movies couldn't possibly be as bad as DAMGC.

That said, I still figure HG must be pretty bad. It's one thing if a movie shows up in Roger Ebert's I Hated, Hated, Hated, This Movie. It's possible Ebert was wrong, I've disagreed with him occasionally-- e.g. The Hitcher shows up in that book and I thought that movie was OK. However, when most critics pile on a movie, that's a warning sign. When I can't even remember ever seeing the movie at a video store (oh yeah, so much for your advice I see it because I'm not buying it on your say-so), that's a warning sign. When the best review I can find (counting professionals and people with their own sites here, for all I know you're a crank-- not that professional critics or whoever can scratch up some web space are excluded from that category) sums up to "not as bad as people say", that's another warning. Three strikes right there, and I didn't even go into the particulars of the movie. You can say that it's great all you want but I'm not going to conclude that everybody else is crazy and you're the one sane voice on the subject. I can barely work up the interest to watch three hour movies I'm pretty sure are good, let alone hard to find ones most people say totally suck.

Lastly, which, pray tell, of my assertions about HG was true? The one you took the time to address was true enough, so I figue I'd better do some fact checking on the one you agreed with.

The worst movie I've ever seen was a movie I saw years ago on TV called "House of the Seven Corpses", about people making a movie inside and about a house where seven people had died in the past. It was bad, but had just enough where you had reason to believe it would get better. The hints of decent movie didn't pan out, and it wasn't bad enough to be funny. A remarkable waste of 2 hours.

The worst movie I have ever seen bar none is "Clifford". I'm still mad at Martin Short.
Runner up's :
"Legends of the Fall" even a super hot Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins could not save this horrible film.
"Resident Evil" - I don't have the words to describe how stupid this waste of film was.
"Battlefield Earth" and "Waterworld" - I think everybody is with me on these two.
"Dracula: Dead and Loving It" - the only funny part was in the first five minutes.
"Love Affair" and "Ghost" two crappy movies that made me cry anyway.

Well, if switching off before the end counts as seen, the two that spring to mind in recent years are:

Muriel's wedding (I hope I'm referring to the Australian attempted comedy version of what was just like the equally excrutiating TV prog. Home and Away- my memory of its name may have faded since then.)

Men in black. Basically a Disney style pre-teen movie marketed for adults. Well not this one!

and just reminded while reading other posts one of the most disappointing anti climactic jokes I also switched off before I needed anti-depressants was....

The Blair Witch Project. Nice to see so many other votes. Maybe the emperor is visibly undressed in that one. Either an attempted mickey take, or misguided pretentious 'pony' (as we say in Brent).

I will limit myself to films that I have actually paid money to see in a theater.

"Last Rites" -- Pretty obscure, really lousy vampire film.
"The Shape of Things to Come" -- Extremely inept rip-off of "Star Wars" with no connection at all to the H. G. Wells classic "Things to Come."
"The Incredible Melting Man" -- Sleazy and boring.
"Humanoids From the Deep" -- Offensive.
"Godzilla Versus the Smog Monster" -- A mess.
"Slapstick of Another Kind" -- Jerry Lewis tries to do Kurt Vonnegut.
"The Last Days of Man on Earth" -- Confused "new wave" science fiction.
"Laserblast" -- A few minutes of cute aliens, then utter tedium.

As you can see, I wasted a lot of money seeing really bad science fiction and horror movies. Compared to any of the ones I listed, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" is fine entertainment; it made me laugh a couple of times.

All the Rambo films ,all the Rocky films ,Grease ,Saturday Night Fever , any so called film "based on fact " when it clearly isn' t ,any Pee Wee Herman film ,Ace Ventura ,Red Dawn ,Battleship Earth....Ooohh I'm all depressed now

I absolutely hated Moulin Rouge. Couldn't even finish watching it.

Out of Africa. The only movie in my entire life where I fell asleep in the theatre.

Disney's Pocahontas. Come on folks... it's a true story, and they CHANGED THE ENDING!!!!!!! How many little kids are gonna grow up thinking that's what really happened? I own almost every animated Disney movie ever made, including a copy of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, but I refuse to buy Pocahontas.

Elephant Parts, by Mike Nesmith (from the Monkees). Bad. Just.... bad. My husband likes it, but he has no taste. He didn't like the Matrix.

My husband has a few things to say here..... be warned...

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Oh, lousy movies. Not even going into the realm of movies my buddies and I rented specifically because they felt like MST3K candidates... in no particular order...

Showgirls. Oh ye GODS. I don't know if I've ever hated a "main character" more, plus the near-nonstop nudity became BORING after about, oh, ten minutes. Rented out of morbid curiosity, and I'll never forgive myself for it. Striptease was very much the same.

Speaking of never forgiving, there's that Silver took me to see both Charlie's Angels "films". Then again, I was a doofus for going to the second one, KNOWING what the first one was like. Then again, she doesn't like Elephant Parts, so clearly her tastes are questionable.

(And yes, The Matrix was not good. Keanu's best acting was in the Bill & Ted movies, though his movies since them lead me to believe that he wasn't actually acting there. Also, I will never, ever forgive Matrix for introduing "Bullet Time" to the cineplex. Roger Corman WISHED he had that kind of fancy, meaningless film-padding at his disposal. It's the cinematic equivalent of Styrofoam peanuts.)

To continue the "never forgive" train, my brother for actually telling me "Scary Movie" was funny. It wasn't. Then again, I should have known; there hasn't been a funny Wayans brothers movie since I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.

On the other hand, he despised Erin Brockovich, which means the man had SOME taste. We're back to Showgirls-level spite towards a main character, and that's just from the commercials I've seen. I'm not exactly Mister Rogers, but wow, was she a real @%(^T^$@@@&.

Purple Rain. Man oh man oh man.

The Avengers, the recent one with the astoundingly unattractive Uma Thurman. She's a lizard. I don't know what they had on Sean Connery to force him to be in this one, but it had to have been bad. I saw that one for free, and I would have paid money just to get the two hours of my LIFE back after that.

One that note, the Broderick-filled US Godzilla. I was fine with the cosmetic changes made to Big G, really... it was the extra three hours of "Jurassic Park Redux" they shoehorned into the middle of it. It also contained the single most implausible movie device ever... no, not the giant lizard being able to burrow like he did. The heroic French guy.

Junior. I think that was the first movie I'd ever returned to the video store the same night I rented it, about ten minutes in. That's the one good thing about Arnie being in office; he can't do more stinkburger movies like that.

Batman Forever. (full-body shudder) Jim Carrey in a spandex bodysuit is the true sign of the End Times. There aren't enough negative adjectives in the Engish language for this one. I'm just glad I couldn't even bring myself to see Batman And Robin, starring good old Ahnult.

I know there will be hate for this, but Rocky Horror Picture Show. I can't even see the camp value. I like Meat Loaf and all (grew up listening to him, which explains a lot about me), but even then.

Here's one that isn't even out yet, but is leaving spinning trails of suck that float back through time. The Cat In The Hat. Everything I've seen about it looks like they took the horrifically abysmall "Grinch" and ran it through an LSD nightmare simulator. Suess is spinning in his grave so fast, they cold hook a turbine up to his coffin and keep Chicago in power for ten years. I don't just want a legal injunction against non-Muppet live-action Suess productions anymore. I think everyone invloved with both of those movies should be exiled at the very least.

I caught bits of Ghosts of Mars on the TV one day. Ugh. Plus, they killed Pam Grier's character. that is just not right.

Titan A.E. Thank you, Don Bluth, for killing non-childrens' animated features. They had Ben "The Tick" Edlund on-staff and it STILL ate. Wow.

Anything Adam Sandler, David Spade, Chris Farley or Will Ferrel have ever done or ever will do.

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The worst movie I have ever seen has to be Mulholland Dr. because I watched it about ten times and still i haven't a clue what the film is about at the end...it was so confusing watching it

There are so many awful movies out there!

Ones I've seen recently which I really hated are:

Terminator 3 - I was really disappointed, it has to be the most pointless sequel ever.
Mr Deeds - well what did I expect from an Adam Sandler movie?
And I know it's really popular, but the first Lord of the Rings movie. I was so bored I walked out halfway through.

Oh and I watched a french film the other day with english subtitles, it was called Amelie and I have absolutely no clue what it was about!