People in my neck of the woods are mourning the death of 13 year-old Anthony Tucker in Palmyra,Maine. The boy was shot twice in the back of the head by his mom's boyfriend as he, his mother, and two sisters fled the house they shared with the man. The crime is so horrific that I honestly have cried off and on since Tuesday, just thiinking about it (me,the editor of a newspaper!), partly, I think, because I have a son a year older than the murdered boy. What makes it worse is that the mother and the boyfiend had been trading blows and arguments for four years, and the police were called numerous times because of reports of gunshots. This despicable man should not have had a gun at all! And now a boy is dead, shot just minutes after being awakened by hsi mother and told, "Come on, we're leaving!" and then following her down the driveway. I think that the mother should be charged with endangering the lives of children as well because she knew that she was keeping them in a dangerous, life-threatening situation. Yes, I know all about battered wife syndrome because I once WAS one. I don't think that excuses her selfishness and carelessness with her childrens' lives. At the very least,the law should have intervened. This is beyond sad.

How absolutely dreadful.

Oh gretas that is horrible.

Incredibly sad...once again, I wonder at those who claim that guns protect more lives than they lose...and that a man needs a gun to protect his family. So how come time and time again these same weapons are used against that same family?

Why is it that men cling like grim death to their weapons and if they were all that essential, they'd agree to more controls of those weapons like in other countries with lower death rates by guns?

What a horrible thing to happen. It is true Gretas, that it is the mother's responsibility to keep her children from harm. In this case she has failed miserably and will have to live with the guilt that she could have prevented this horror from happening.
Very true Bruyere that it is the guns that are supposedly there to protect that do the killing.
I despair at humanity sometimes I really do.

It is horrible. Although I must point out that the mother was trying to protect her children and remove them from harm's way when it happened. The question of whether she should have been there to begin with is moot. She was making the right choice. She was doing right by her kids when the tragedy happened. Which is possibly the most tragic thing about it. She will live with guilt for the rest of her life, and I am at war as to whether I think it is rightly so or not. She carries the ultimate responsibility, but it can't fairly be said that she is the only one who failed that boy. The mind boggles at the ramifications.

She likely thought she was protecting them by staying in the situation, because see what happened when she did try to leave. Perhaps he threatened her children before to keep her in line and with him.

Should she have been in that situation? None of us have a crystal ball to see the future, and violent and abusive men don't often show their true colours at the beginning of a relationship.

The real problem is that "domestic violence" is not taken as seriously as other froms of violence. The police were called several times - why was this man still in the home? If he had gone around beating up police officers he'd be in jail so fast he wouldn't know what hit him.

Domestic violence should be treated for the crime that it is. The police were called numerous times;
Why was nothing done about this violent abusive man?
Why didn't the woman's family help?
Why did the police not arrest him the first, second, third time and lock him up?
Why did she not leave him the first time he got violent and the police were involved?
So many questions, no answers that can bring that boy back to life.
I would imagine that his mother is enduring a living Hell with what if's.
My friend was beaten by her husband, the attack was witnessed by their young daughter. The police came and arrested him. She never entertained the thought of taking him back, her priority was to give her daughter a non violent upbringing.
I know women do stay with violent partners for years, my late mother-in-law did and it might be unsympathetic of me but I can't forgive her for it. My husband's upbringing has blighted his life, he suffers from depression and withdraws into himself. He saw his mother suffer endlessly and he and his siblings were beaten regularly.
Maybe these women think they can change their partner? Or are frightened of being alone?
I only know that as a mother of two children I couldn't subject them to a life of misery. There's help out there for women who need it.

It's tragic, it's such a waste, and usually in domestic violence situations the children ALWAYS suffer in one way or another . . . there's no easy answer, there's no solution . . . and as for help being out there for women who need it . . . there isn't nearly enough, sadly.

No there isn't nearly enough help, but it is there. Here in the UK the police are taking domestic violence more seriously. They will arrest and detain the offender and press charges.
I know that helplines for abused women are severely under funded and mcuh more help is needed to prevent these tragedies from happening.

The social services in other countries are much better than in the States. I mean, that despite the deficits you see in European countries, there is help available...in America it's there, but hard to get.

As parents we are charged with the safety and very existence of our beloved children. Having been a parent for almost thirty years, I find the job to be an odd mix of love,administration skills, common sense and primitive instinct.
I once dated a man after my husband died, and the 'relationship' lasted about eight weeks. Although he was dazzling - handsome and very charming, I continued to pay attention to my underlying uncomfortable hunch - something was amiss, but I couldn't quite get it to gel in my conscious mind.I questioned him about certain aspects of his life and he finally broke down and admitted his former wife had left him after catching him peeking in the bathroom window at his own daughter!
Needless to say, I escorted him out the door and changed my phone number. No woman should be that desperate for company or male approval. My mother taught me a lot of good things but maybe this one is the most important.

I have to admit that this situation reminds me how glad I am to live where I do right now. In my rather small city of 300,000 (and in a traditionally conservative state with, if the recent state budgets are to be believed, little feeling of social responsibility) there is a very well-funded (privately) set of services available for women in abusive relationships and children who've been abused by their parents. We have an organization called the Friendship Home that is SO impressive, and helps SO many women and children every year, and the community is gratifyingly supportive. They provide shelter for battered women and their kids, they provide aide to any woman who is in a bad relationship and wants help getting out, they provide volunteer advocates for both the women and children, free legal services, job placement, free items to set up a new household, from clothing to dishes to furniture and appliances... and all of it is funded by the community, donated by the community, volunteered by my community, and it makes me very proud.

I do know that this woman was surrounded by family members who tried to get her to leave the situation, but when she didn't, they didn't press....apparently. There is lots of help here for battered women, too, and I once took advantage of it. Although I know that the only one truly responsible for killing that young boy is the murderer himself, I am aware that this woman refused to press charges numerous times after calling the police before. I think that does make her culpable. Nothing will happen to her, I know, but in my opinion, something should. She knew the man had a gun and what he was capable of. She knw...and she stayed, and her son was shot twelve feet from the trampoline on which he and his sisters played.

What boggles the mind is that the police, after being called in because of gun shots being fired, allowed him to keep the gun. Perhaps they should have sent him for assesment.

What a tragic story.

I could be wrong but I think the law has changed here and it's no longer up to the abused woman whether she wants to press charges, the police automatically prosecute as a violent crime is exactly that, it is no longer seen as just a domestic and rightly so. I'll stand corrected if I have this wrong.
I agree with you Gretas, ultimately she was responsible for her children's safety and she failed.

If true, that's as it should be. The assault doesn't cease to exist simply because it isn't reported. It is a crime against the people, even if the particular victim fails to press charges.

Especially when children are involved. I don't understand why Social Services let the children stay in that dangerous situation. Well, I guess if it's anything like here I do understand; there are way too many children at risk and way too few social workers, as well as not enough places for children to go. Still, "the police were called numerous times because of reports of gunshots" - something like this should be on top of the priority list!

There are no words ...