I had to watch a video in high school Spanish class about an English-speaking girl who went to a Spanish-speaking country and proclaimed that she was embarrassed by saying she was "embarazada," which means "pregnant." I love false cognates like that.

one of the most amusing anecdotes I remember.. my father was on an official visit to China. The interpreter introduced him to a meeting and was met with total and uncomfortable silence.
Apparently the interpreter had translated 'chief executive' as 'chief executioner'

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop. Drive sideways.

There are several others that got me in stitches laughing, but they aren't family friendly, so I wont post them.

The french for I am fed up, is I believe, J'en ai Marre. I put this phrase into an online translator as was informed it was translated as :

Je suis alimenté vers le haut

Actually the machine didn't do such a bad job as you could not expect it to find an idiomatic phrase.

The French j'en ai marre becomes I have had some enough.
That's actually pretty close!

So many phrases are not translatable literally that it makes me think that there are still jobs to be had!

Many words have about five meanings and the French translate 'to get' as obtenir, but the meanings go on for two pages in an English dictionary. We use obtain very seldom compared to the other meanings.

I was wondering if anyone out there speaks Latin and can tell me the translation for 'Seize the Night'. I tried a translator on the net and came up with 'Occupo Nox Noctus' this does not sound right and I don't know anyone who speaks Latin.

The Latin for "seize the day" is "carpe diem." It occurs in the eleventh Ode of the first book of Horace, and gained a wide currency when it was used by Robin Williams' character in "The Dead Poet's Society."

On the analogy of this, "seize the night" would be "carpe noctem."

Thank you very much TabbyTom.

You know what are a great source of some truly horrendous translations? Hungarian menus, that's what. I can't list all of them here (because it would take me about 20 minutes to write them all out and I want to go to bed) but some of these best are here.

In one of the finest Budapesti restaurants, not all is happy on the menu. Because when you order chicken, it can either come as "free range" ("ingyenes") or "recharge" ("elem" - the word they really want is "battery").

But of course, is the same restaraunt, they sell a whole range of poultry. If you're feeling adventurous, you can try the pheasant. It will be under the heading of "wing game-full".

Enjoy.

After the Air Lift the former Reichshauptstadt went through a strangely provincial phase in the 1950s. At Tempelhof, then the main airport, there was a big notice telling people where to collect bulky luggage and life animals.

It's not a grotesque translation, of course, but I'd have expected Berlin, of all places, to have managed better than a notice in English with a German accent.

I find interesting translations if I put some song lyrics into a translator, translate them into Japanese (I havn't tried anything else), then translate them back into English, it is hilarious what they come out with.

After reading this thread i decided to try a little experiment using the online macihine tranlator 'Babel Fish'. First of all i put in the famous opening lines from Dickens' Tale of Two Cities:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it ws the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."

Then I translated into German:

"es war von Zeiten, es war das schlechteste von Zeiten das beste; es W das Alter von Klugheit, es war das Alter der Dummheit; es war die Epoche des Glaubens, es war die Epoche der Ungläubigkeit; es war die Jahreszeit des Lichtes, es war die Jahreszeit der Schwärzung; es war der Frühling der Hoffnung, es war der Winter der Verzweiflung; wir hatten alles vor uns, wir hatten nichts vor uns; alle gehende alle wir waren, die direkt zum Himmel gehen, wir waren die andere Weise."

And then back into English:

"it was of times, it was that worst of times the best; it W the age of intelligence, it was the age of the stupidity; it was the epoch of the faith, it was the epoch of the disbelievingness; it was the season of the light, it was the season of the density; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of the despair; we did not have everything before us, we had anything before us; all going all we were, that go directly to the sky, we were the other way."

That's the problem with machine translators, a lot of the subtlety of syntax and grammar are lost.

I tried that with Japanese - I will put Romaji on the account of not everyone can see Japanese characters.


"sore ha toki no mottomo yokatta, sore ji no mottomo warukatta ; sore ha ws chie, sore no nenrei oroka sa no nenrei datta ; sore ha kakushin, sore no shin kigen datta incredulity no shin kigen datta ; sore ha raito, sore no kisetsu datta kurayami no kisetsu datta ; sore ha kibou, sore no bane datta zetsubou no fuyu datta ; watashi tachi ni watashi tachi no mae ni watashi tachi no mae ni subete ga, watashi tachi motte i nakatta nani mo atta ; watashi tachi ha datta ten ni chokusetsu okonatte iru subete watashi tachi datta itte iru subete ta no houhou."

And back to English:

"That the time was best, that time it was worst; That ws intelligence, was age of that age foolishness; That was the new era of incredulity which is conviction and that new era; That the light/write, was season of the darkness which is that season; That was the winter of the despair which is desire and that spring; In us before us us what which it did not have was everything, before us; We entirely were we who have gone to the heaven which is directly and all other methods of having done. "

I'm not entirely sure if it's true, but I once heard that the KFC slogan ("Finger Lickin' Good"), when translated into Chinese, becomes "Eat your fingers off."

I heard that as well, admittedly it was out of a joke book, so I'm not sure if the source is trustworthy.

It is trustworthy, I've read a lot of those and found items to back them up such as signs and complaints put in Taiwanese and Chinese newspapers. Hell, I even made a quiz about it!

And the German translation will always come out strange - their grammatical structure means that a lot of flowery English language will come out looking horrendous... still fun, though.

Ok, I must see this quiz of yours then. It sounds good.

Up!

When I was in China, I saw a "Slippery When Wet" sign was translated in English as "Slip Carefully."

I was also in Saudi Arabia years ago when I saw "No Barking" signs in two different parking lots. My friend later explained to me that Saudis do not ever use the "p" sound, and all "p" sounds are pronounced with "b's" (as in parking=barking and Pepsi=Bebsi). I swear this is true!

LOL!

Those are great! Number 5 gave me a very strange mental picture.

I love translations! And number 10 here? !!!

I recently bought an impact drill, made and packaged in China. The instructions were so badly translated, I kept them. Here they are verbatim, spelling mistakes, punctuation and all.

1. STRUCTURE AND USAGE
The impact drills are double insulated electric tools, They are driven by single-phase motor, and are reduced by a pari of gears. The compact structure, advancing technology, large out power, little noise, light weight are to their of advantage.

This series of drills are suitable to for use to be on metal, plasic and woods ets; If the special accesssoriess attached, they can be to of use as motor-screwdriver, motor-lever, casting sand machinery, sand polishing machinery. So they are ideal electric tools in all walks.

3. NOTE TO USAGE (note from Mags: Yes, number 2 is missing.)
31. Before the drill used, please to check the voltage of power source, which should be suitable that indicated on drills.
32. The insert is connected with wire should not be carelessly exchanged or taken away. The switch of drill should be to turn off when the insert is connecting the power source. When in soppage or withdrawal of bit, please disconnnect the insert from power source and it is prohibitive to cut off by pulling the wire.
33. The drills are forbidden to be of use in wet, flammable explosive fluid and gas circums-tances to prevent the explosion and flame from elecctric flash.
34. The cotton glove and large clothes are forbidden in operation. It will be dangerous to be mindless and not to stand steadly in work. When in drilling, should pay attention to wires and waterpipes.
35. To keep the edges workabe, no more force in needed, and to needing the more than specified diametre bit when in drilling.
36. If the sudden stoppage or pause happen during the process, please to cut off the electricity immediately and to check the cause with expected caution to.
37. The wire is should to be used properly. It should be, kept away from lengthening, exchanging, hot source and oil or fat avoid the wire from pulling the drill, If any damage is to be discovered, the wire should be have exchanged.

4. THE MAINTENANCES OF DRILL
4.1) The drill should to be often checked and maintained to be in good position, especially to spares such as wires of power, inner wire, insert, switch and insulable resistances, ets.
4.2) The channel of bit should be to kept clear and unblockable; drill should be strored in dry, ventilation and no corroding gas and under no pressure.
4.3) The lubicantation should be of clear sign, and be added at every specifiled time (note from Mags: No 'specifiled' times to be found anywhere)
4.4) Carbon brush is a easily-dam-aging spare, it should to be readjusted when is have shorter than 4mm.

5. ACCESSSORIESS TO THIS YOUR THE DRILL
Drilll clip and key one pair in the packaged of the drill for the drill.

haha, I loved number ten from your list, tsunamicharly!

Mags: accesssoriess?! and twice, too.

'when in soppage or withdrawal of bit'
... not good if you have a dirty mind ...



found these ones, almost made me wet myself:

http://www.world-time-zones.org/articles/translation.htm

And another one:

In a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Mags, that is classic and I'm so glad you hung onto them!
vene, Almost blew coffee through my nose reading your list.