#33820 - Mon Apr 02 2001 03:18 PM
Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Tue Mar 13 2001
Posts: 324
Loc: Emerald City, Oz
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I put a couple of posts in the 'Oh, those TV moments' thread, and decided to start a thread about all the funny stuff Homer has said. Heres what I had said on there: Homer:"Aw! There's only one can of beer left and it's Barts!"  Homer to Bart when dog is lost:"Are you gonna sit there, and eat dog food and cry til' your tears smell like dog food, or are you gonna go out there and find your dog?"
Bart: "I'm gonna find my dog!" (Or something along the lines of that)
Homer to Marge after Bart leaves: "Darn! Almost had him eating dog food!" 
Any more to add?
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When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
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#33821 - Mon Apr 02 2001 05:25 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Forum Adept
Registered: Thu Feb 01 2001
Posts: 138
Loc: Bletchley
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quote:
Doh...!A deer... A Female deer..
That sticks in my head for some reason. I don't know why... [ 04-02-2001: Message edited by: ScottD ]
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YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK. GOODBYE.
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#33822 - Mon Apr 02 2001 10:55 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Sun Jan 02 2000
Posts: 390
Loc: Christchurch,New Zealand
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(other guy)-"This can deep fry a buffalo in 45 seconds!"
(homer)-"Aww, but i want it now.."
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They say the law is an ass.Dont forget that as ass has long ears, is usually bad tempered and, if ignored, can land a hard kick when you are least expecting it!
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#33823 - Tue Apr 03 2001 06:14 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Tue Mar 13 2001
Posts: 324
Loc: Emerald City, Oz
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(He doesn't say this) Doh, a word, I always say! Ray, a guy that works at Moes! Me, uh...gimme some beer! Fa, long way to work! So, a thing mom always does, La, uh...um...lets skip this one. Ti, somthin' Patty and Selma {cringe} always drink. and DOH!!! OKay, I know that was real stupid... [ 12-07-2001: Message edited by: mew ]
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When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
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#33824 - Sun Apr 08 2001 11:40 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Participant
Registered: Sun Apr 08 2001
Posts: 27
Loc: Canada
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*homer when he babysits Mr.Burns house*
Homer:Look at me i'm a millionaire!!
*slides down railing*
Homer:Wheeeeeeee!
*flies off end and gets stuck in wall*
_________________________
Unbreakable toys are useful for breaking other toys
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#33825 - Mon Apr 09 2001 09:15 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Prolific
Registered: Sun Apr 09 2000
Posts: 1854
Loc: North Carolina USA
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All time favorite! Homer: So if I don't eat this last bite of the doughnut, you don't get my soul, right? Devil: Well, technically, yes... Homer: (singing joyfully) I'm smarter than the Devil!
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#33826 - Mon Apr 09 2001 11:46 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Anonymous
No longer registered
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My all time favourite: "Well, you can't scare me doc, cause dying would be a stoned groove!" Second favourite (ironically, it's from the same episode as the first one I posted): "You know, my kids really adore you. And thanks to your gloomy music, my kids have stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide." "I'm the little magic man who lives in a gumdrop house on lollypop lane" "Oh, they have the Internet on computers now!" "No TV and no beer make Homer something something" Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me" Other guy: "Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name?" Homer: "I don't know" "I don't approve of his Bart killing policy, but I do approve of his Selma killing policy" "Look Marge, a gun! This is the trigger, and this is the thing you point with, whenever you want to die.." "Lisa, if I didn't have a gun, the King of England could just come in here and start pushing you around. Do you want that? Do you?" "I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am" (this is the episode where he went into the third dimension) This is a great topic! I'll be back when I come up with some more.
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#33827 - Tue Apr 10 2001 06:04 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Tue Mar 13 2001
Posts: 324
Loc: Emerald City, Oz
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From the Big Brother Agency Ep. Homer: I love you Pepsi.Pepi: It's Pepi. Homer: Oh. Marge: Go pick up Bart!
Homer:I'm on my way.........what did you say Marge?
_________________________
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
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#33828 - Tue Apr 10 2001 06:08 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Tue Mar 13 2001
Posts: 324
Loc: Emerald City, Oz
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In the Houseboat: {yelling, with a chainsaw} HEY BART YOU WANT SOME BROWNIES???!!!?!?!?! At doctors:
{Points to stomach} There's a crayon in my Brain?
_________________________
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
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#33829 - Tue Apr 10 2001 10:51 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Anonymous
No longer registered
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I forgot one! This is in the episode where Homer and Marge take the kids to Itchy and Scratchy Land and Homer gets arrested. Homer: But Marge, I was a political prisoner! Marge: How were you a political prisoner Homer? Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to show you a diagram? 
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#33830 - Wed Apr 11 2001 12:27 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Anonymous
No longer registered
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Here is another one I just remembered. This is featured in part 2 of "Who Shot Mr. Burns." Lisa and Bart are arguing over the potential suspects in the case, and Homer says: "Kids, kids, kids, as far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers."
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#33831 - Thu Apr 12 2001 09:12 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Thu Apr 05 2001
Posts: 205
Loc: Houston
Texas USA
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I am e-vil Ho-mer.... I am e-vil Ho-mer.... I am e-vil Ho-mer.... I am e-vil Ho-mer.... I am e-vil Ho-mer.... I am e-vil Ho-mer.... (and so on)
_________________________
Since when does modern day romance consist of allowing your date to super size her meal?
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#33832 - Thu Apr 12 2001 01:33 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Tue Mar 13 2001
Posts: 324
Loc: Emerald City, Oz
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When I was 17, I drank some very good beer, I drank some very good beer that I purchased with my fake ID. My name was Brain McGee. I stayed up Listening to Queen. When I was 17. You don't make friends with salad! You don't make friends with salad... My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R, my baloney has a second name... [ 11-21-2001: Message edited by: mew ]
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When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
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#33833 - Thu Apr 12 2001 04:07 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Forum Adept
Registered: Wed Jul 19 2000
Posts: 128
Loc: Newton Iowa USA
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Some of my favorites: Marge: Lisa, Bart, what did you two learn in Sunday School today?
Lisa: The answers to deep theological questions.
Bart: Yeah, among other things, apes can't get into heaven.
Homer: What? Those cute little monkeys? That's terrible. Who told you that?
Bart: Our teacher.
Homer: I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us? Who roller-skate and smoke cigars? From The Golf Episode:
Homer: Hey Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing, and we can't both win.
Flanders: Actually, Simpson, we were praying that no one gets hurt. From a High School Flashback:
Barney: Hey, Homer, you're late for English!
Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England. Homer: Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
_________________________
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for the coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
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#33834 - Thu Apr 12 2001 10:52 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Prolific
Registered: Wed Mar 21 2001
Posts: 1765
Loc: Michigan USA
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JEEBUSSS!!!!!!!
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"I don't have to conform to vagaries of time and space...I'm a loony for god's sake!"
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#33835 - Mon Apr 16 2001 05:42 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Tue Mar 13 2001
Posts: 324
Loc: Emerald City, Oz
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When Homer was smart/after they removed the crayon: "It's so tragic how they 'Hopped on Pop!'" "There's a point in every fathers life when he blows up his daughters room." Homer:"If I know Fat Tony-which I don't..." Homer: "I said I was sorry!"
Guys chasing him with Guns:"Oh, alright."
Homer:"Sorry you're such jerks!" Homer:"They're dogs! And they're playing POKER!!! Homer: Aww, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Bart:"We were just planning our father son rafting trip."
Homer:"Heh, heh. You don't have a son." Hey, and what about
'Woo-hoo!'
'Doh!' and
'Mmm...donut.' [ 11-17-2001: Message edited by: mew ]
_________________________
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
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#33836 - Wed Apr 25 2001 11:40 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Participant
Registered: Mon Apr 23 2001
Posts: 18
Loc: I'm elizabeth bartram reincarn...
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one of my favourites, can't quite remember how it goes: Homer to lisa: want a donut? lisa: uh, got any fruit? Homer: it's got purple in it, purple's a fruit! and "SAX-A-MA-PHONE!!!SAX-A-MA-PHONE!!!"
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JUST IGNORE THE 'JUNIOR MEMBER' BIT, OK???!!!
and to think i had earned the title 'member'...
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#33838 - Wed Apr 25 2001 01:37 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Tue Mar 13 2001
Posts: 324
Loc: Emerald City, Oz
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I don't think he bites. But, I think you would beable to get him Bulldoggie. BBbulldoggie bites Homer. Homer: Ahhhhhh!  Doh! Doh! Doh!! heh heh!
_________________________
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
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#33839 - Thu Apr 26 2001 08:14 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Mainstay
Registered: Sat Mar 03 2001
Posts: 571
Loc: Sykesville
Maryland USA
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Homer while watching the 3 stooges..."Moe is their leader."
Homer while looking at a map....."OOOOO theres a NEW Mexico."
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Gravity, not just a good idea....It's the law!
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#33840 - Wed May 02 2001 06:11 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Multiloquent
Registered: Sat Dec 25 1999
Posts: 2824
Loc: Fairhaven Massachusetts USA
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Trivia time: Creator Matt Groening named Homer Simnpson after his father, true, but before "The Simpsons" came on the scene, there was the Homer Simpson who appeared in Nathaniel West's cult novel, "The Day Of The Locust"! tjoeb};>
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Terry Bigham
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#33841 - Wed May 02 2001 06:13 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Multiloquent
Registered: Sat Dec 25 1999
Posts: 2824
Loc: Fairhaven Massachusetts USA
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Trivia time: Creator Matt Groening named Homer Simpson after his father, true, but before "The Simpsons" came on the scene, there was the Homer Simpson who appeared in Nathaniel West's cult novel, "The Day Of The Locust"! tjoeb};>
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Terry Bigham
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#33842 - Wed May 02 2001 09:11 AM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Mainstay
Registered: Sat Mar 03 2001
Posts: 571
Loc: Sykesville
Maryland USA
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Marge also had some good ones. When talking about Mr.Burns after he went broke:
"He used to be filthy rich,now he's just filthy!"
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Gravity, not just a good idea....It's the law!
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#33843 - Sun May 20 2001 07:52 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Enthusiast
Registered: Tue Mar 13 2001
Posts: 324
Loc: Emerald City, Oz
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Okay, um... Homer:Yum! Buffalo testicales! Lisa: Dad, those are apples. Homer:Yuck! (spits them out)
_________________________
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
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#33844 - Mon May 28 2001 01:12 PM
Re: Homer Simson!
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Anonymous
No longer registered
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This is in the episode where Bart has to apologize to Australia for one of his pranks: Bart: "Mom, Dad, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia" Homer: "That's no reason to block the TV."
[ 05-28-2001: Message edited by: PoE ]
[ 05-28-2001: Message edited by: PoE ]
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