Rich's loss has been very sad to read about, and most people can relate to it - but the thing that has warmed my heart more than anything, is the amazing compassion and love that has been shown by the members of this site - God bless you, each and every one.

Like some of the others, I don't really have the words to say that would comfort you, but know that I am thinking about you and surely know from experience what you're going through, Rich.

Over the last few days I've attempted to write a few sympathetic words numerous times Vendome, but I always end up weeping and have to walk away from the keyboard. My heart broke when I read your post and all the ones that followed, our pets are our family giving endless, unconditional love and to lose them is to lose a part of ourselves. There is no way to replace that loss and only time can begin to heal us. I've taken my Junior for routine checkups only to be told by the vet that he is now "middle-aged" and I could have just bawled. He found me when I was grieving the loss of another beloved kitty and he's been my little angel for the last nine years. Of the eight cats I've taken in and loved, Junior is my dearest, sweetest friend. He is just because of who he is. I can not ever imagine him gone, ever. I can't imagine him not sneaking up into bed after my husband leaves to curl up behind my knees and wait for me to wake up. He is the one that lets me love on him before he goes outside to play in the sunshine and chase squirrels, he's the one who allows me to smother him in kisses when he comes home from a day of making his rounds in the neighborhood, and he is the last one I say goodnight to. Never a hiss or growl, just pure love encapsulated in his 9lb. black and white furry frame. To lose this would leave the largest hole in my soul. I am so sorry to know that you will soon be suffering this pain Vendome and I wish there were words to provide adequate comfort at that moment when you reach out for your friend and realize he won't be there anymore. Your friend knows how lucky he is to have you and moreover you are lucky to have each other.

I know that words are inadequate at a time like this. I too can remember the overwhelming sense of hopelessness that I felt when I was unable to do anything for a fellow creature (a cat in my case) who had given me so much for years and had asked for so little in return. Your consolation is that you are giving your dog the thing that he wants and needs more than anything else – your love, and he knows it.

Thank you for sharing Rich. You brought back fond memories of beloved pets I have had in my life. Give your pal a hug from me. Pets are such a sweet blessing in life.

Bless you all for the caring, support, willingness to share personal painful memories, love, tears and help you so generously shared with me.

My usual modus operendi when handling crises is to isolate myself and deal with it 'til it's over. This time I couldn't. And you let me know that my feelings of pain and loss were not unique to me; these are things we all face and it helps to have a shoulder to lean on. I am eternally grateful to you for offering such a warm and understanding shoulder.

I spent yesterday watching Isis (that's his name; he's a Shih T'Zu) and, bless him, he's a brave little guy. He can't go outside any more to go to the bathroom, so I purchased some Chux, a cheap disposable waterproof absorbent bed liner/pad for the incontinent and made a bathroom area for him. This made him discover a new route to take on his way to the kitchen and restored some self confidence. I was in the kitchen, looked into the living room to check him and what I saw brought more tears. There he was, sitting in front of my recliner (OUR chair for the past 10 years), front paw extended to the non-occupied chair wanting a 'good boy' treat for doing good with the Chux. I gave him every treat I could find after holding him and kissing him.

God I love this dog. Why does love have to hurt so much?

Aw, Rich... you and he are finding ways to adapt! That is so wonderful to hear. It IS heartbreaking... and especially since you have realized how frail and dependent these little lives are... But he CAN adapt and seems to be doing so well... The time will come when it won't be possible any longer, we all know that... and many here have written about it so well, but better to cross that bridge when it comes.

But the question you ask, "Why does love have to hurt so much?" is the question man has asked since time began. In any relationship, the risk of loss is always there. The problem with loving these furry bundles of joy is that their lifetimes are so much shorter than ours, more than likely... Perhaps that is one of the reasons these relationships are so intense. But the reward of the loving relationship is that you've had a bond with Isis that is unconditional; total, complete, devoted love. And for Isis, he's had you to be devoted to, and a safe and caring home, which the vast majority of pets do not. He lives in the moment of now... his happiness is just knowing you are there, just to be near you makes his world complete. He has no regrets of the past, no dread of the future.

For both of you, that would have been a terrible loss to never have experienced what you've shared. The old cliche still holds true... "Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." You'll forever be richer for having known and loved Isis. It will (and I'm sure already has) make you a much better, kinder person than you otherwise might have been.

Very true Redwood and beautifully put.

I still have fond memories of my sweet little Zoe who was much more like a dog in personality than the cat she was. She would headbutt me awake in the morning and loved to play fetch. She's the only cat I ever met that actually enjoyed car rides. She died way too young of feline diabetes. We had to give her insulin shots twice a day but one night she did not eat after her shot (which we did not realize) and was comatosed when we woke up. I have never met a more affectionate animal and I still miss her but as you probably know the pain grows less as time goes on.

Rich, the reason it hurts so much, is because you care and love Isis...if you didn't then you would not be having the emotions you are having right now.

I am keeping you and Isis in my prayers, and I have said a special prayer to my Junior to watch over Isis and you.

What I haven't dealt with on a realistic basis is putting him to sleep. The only thing I've thought is that I wouldn't tolerate him feeling any pain; and what scares me is not being there to hold him as he dies. I could never forgive myself if I abandoned him and left him alone to die. I worry if I would be able to stand the stress.

Is watching him discover new ways of finding the kitchen, attempts to let me hold him on my lap to nap (he'll let me hold him but gets upset when I try to put him down), succeed with alternate procedures like the Chux--just selfishness on my part? He knows something is very wrong yet I'm dumping all new ways of doing things on him. Is this adding to his problems to keep me from dealing with the inevitable?

I hear you. I PM'd you about having to put down our little girl last year. It wasn't something I was comfortable doing considering she was my husband's cat. I didn't want to be there when it was done, which I ended up regretting. I waited in another room and they came back in to get me. I think I feared it would be an ugly event but they assured me it was very peaceful. I regret that she was in the arms of strangers when it happened so I sat with her for a long time holding her and talking to her and petting her and crying. Crying for the act itself and crying for being such a coward. I told you how they made imprints of her paws for me, this was done while I held her. My last moments with her were quite sad, but I am happy I spent those last minutes with her. You will know what you are able to do when the time comes....

Rich ---I am so sorry. No one can help you through this. Just know that we are thinking of you both.

love and light
lynn

Rich, as most vets will tell you, when your beloved Isis stops eating, then that is the time to think about having to let him go.

As long as he is eating, and you are finding new things that interest him, you are handling everything just fine.

Trust in the fact that Isis will let you know when he wants to leave.

My 17 year old Mog wasn't well for the last year of his life. He always perked up again though, and seemed content enough. Just before christmas last year I took him to the vets, thinking it was going to be a one way journey. He was home again the next day, screaming for food and seeing off the neighbour's cats.

In January I woke up with a backache and came downstairs. I found Mog struggling to breathe and looking very unhappy. I tried to hold him on a blanket on my lap, but he wasn't interested, he preferred to lay in the fireplace. Laps and blankets were his favourites, so I knew it was time. He seemed desperate to get between two armchairs. I moved one so he could get between them and he promptly piddled copiously on the carpet - he'd never done anything like that before, even as a kitten. That convinced me, not because of the mess but because it was so out of character.

I took him to the vet's first thing and said that I thought he needed to be put to sleep. The vet examined him and said I was making the right decision, whereupon all my composure left me and I collapsed in a sobbing heap.

They laid him on a sheepskin pad and the vet gave him the injection. I was stroking him and he just fell asleep very peacefully. If someone does the same for me if I'm that sick and old, I'll be grateful.

This is very sad. I have lost many pets over the years and it always breaks my heart. One of the most heartbreaking losses was of the cat I had from the time I was 2 years old up until I was 18. She walked over to get a drink of water from her bowl and fell over. She had a seizure and died. It happened quickly so I'm sure she didn't suffer. I was devastated when she died and I felt so bad because I wasn't home when it happened. By the time I got home, she was already buried in our backyard, and my parents told me what had happened. I didn't even get to say goodbye to this companion and friend whom I shared my childhood with. The love of a pet is a treasured gift and I hope you can find some comfort in your pet's love, Rich. Try to think of all the happy times you have spent with your pet. It does help.

I never had a pet,but I've heard a lot of sad stories about people and their pal,what a sorrow it was! I'm very sympathetic to your pal,and I think you're quite dignified,I admire you for your virtue.I come from the other side of the world.

Rich, my heart goes out to you and the difficult time you are facing. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing you've brought joy and love into Isis's life, and made these days as comfortable for him as you possibly could.
When I had to make the same difficult decision for a pet, I longed to be there in his last moments, holding him to ease his journey, but I was terrified. The vet had an alternative: I held my cat while a sedative was administered, comforting him through his last conscious moments, and the vet gave a second shot without me in the room. It was still very hard, but when an animal who has been so loyal and loving is suffering, sometimes it's the most compassionate thing you can do for them.
I will keep you and Isis in my thoughts and prayers.

Hey, jordandog I really like that "just a dog" thing at the end of your post. Do you know who wrote it by any chance?

I found it! This is very simply named "If You Can" and I will undoubtedly have tears as I type this out. It also touches me each time I see it and cannot pass by the wall where it hangs without reading it. After 15 some years, I think I have it memorized.

"If You Can..."

If you can start the day without
caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheeful, ignoring
aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and
boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day
and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved
ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can overlook it when those you
love take it out on you when, through
no fault of yours, something goes
wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame
without resentment,

If you can ignore a friends limited
education and never correct them,

If you can resist treating a rich
friend better than a poor one,

If you can face the world without lies
and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without
medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of
drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep
within your heart you have no
prejudice against creed, color,
religion, or politics.
Then, my friend, you are almost as good
as a dog.


Yep, I'm crying again and my Jordan is looking at me as usual with the,"What's wrong, Mom?" look, paw on my knee. God bless this animal and all of your's. Sandy

I found a few I like. Here's to dog lovers everywhere.
"You think dogs won't be in Heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us." Robert Louis Stevenson

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." Christopher Morley

"I want to be the person my dog thinks I am."

A bad day. He's bumping into rverything.

I'll call the vet in the morning and see if there's something more I can do. If only I could stop crying. Maybe I'm making him upset.

Think good thoughts guys. For my little guy and for me.

Rich, Isis knows your upset because you care and are worried. I'm sure he wishes he could give YOU comfort. Do what you said and call in the morning. We are all thinking good thoughts. Sandy