the lava of Io's volcanoes, as the duo boarded the awaiting....

Sopwith camel and donned their leather flight gear, Pavarotti putting on a scarf of course to protect his delicate throat,

...and said, 'Where do you want to be tomorrow?' Parvati was a little nonplussed by all this so she...

...blushed red as a boiled lobster, but composed herself in a second. He's not coming on to me, she assured herself, he can't be that kind. She cleared her throat to reply, when suddenly...tjoeb};>

... a little black hole popped up and from it came the wise words...

... so she grabbed her lightsaber and said: "but remember, I'm your father"...

(huh?)

...but caught herself, shouting "What am I saying? I'm a girl!" Putting the lightsaber down, she muttered "I havewatched "Empire Strikes Back" too much...tjoeb};>

... so she took on a yoga position and soon felt her spirit hitting the roof with a terrible...

cloud of steam from the shower in her latest video clip, she concentrated on cooling down, but oooops...

...she slipped on her bar of Ivory soap, but managed to spin herself into a handstand in time. Using a bidet is easier, she thought amusedly. But when she flipped rightside up again...tjoeb};>

She found herself aloft in an enormous soap bubble, floating above the city...

in full sight of a horde of adolescent and teenage boys all howling like a pack of baboons

Fully expecting a positive response, but instead receiving....

...the lustful howls, slobbering leers and fixed stares of a thousand animalistic pubescents boys stampeding the stage in a tsunami of unchecked delirium...tjoeb};>

not one to back down in the face of adversity, but requiring a bit of assistance this time, our brown-eyed teen beauty reached into her tight trousers and pulled out her cell phone and called....

... ET, but as usual he was phoning home and the line was busy. Then she thought of something: wouldn't it be nice to...

enlist the aid of the only people on Earth capable of fending off the hoardes of adolescent boys, the Boyz to Men? The young gyrating boys' band arrived on a cloud, crooning songs to make adolescent girls swoon, doing back flips and sporting their muscular bodies and navels and sending the crowd of boys into a paroxysm of jealousy which created a....

...volcanic riot on the stage as the envious youths charged the boyband, who in turn subdued the mob in a blink of an eye with their expertly choreographed martial arts moves, to the ecstatic squeals of the pre-teen girls. But just when the chaos had died down...tjoeb};>

Chandler Bing popped out of a huge crack that had formed in the earth. Asking where Monica was, he then exclaimed, "

Please someone Kill me. I'm trapped in a show that makes it uncool to have an IQ in the triple digit range!!!

He then ran screaming wildly around the room, hitting people on the head with giant pillows. But then, awestruck at the sight, he abruptly stopped right in front of

Gene Simmons, in full Demon makeup and platform boots
He spit gout of flame and raised the Battle-Axe Bass guitar.....

...to bring down on Chandler's head, when the rioting boys were stopped in their tracks, as if by the eyes of Medusa. They stared at Simmons for one long moment, hardly breathing. Then a voice shrilled out, "HOLY @#*!?! There's a REAL rock star!" The boyband turned burning glares of envy on Simmons as he strutted to center stage, his long tongue slithering out like a snake, and the combined roar of boys and girls erupted in the arena...tjoeb};>

until he metamorphized himself into Richard Simmons the frizzy haired fitness expert and welcomed them onto the stage, complementing them on achieving their fitness goals, in his high pitched voice, which made them flee in the opposite direction...