The reason this is so funny is that it's so, so true. And we don't talk about it in the US. Ever.

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"The War of 1812" by The Arrogant Worms


Oh, come back, proud Canadians
To before you had TV,
No hockey night in Canada,
There was no CBC
In 1812, Madison was mad,
He was the president, you know
He thought he'd tell the British where they ought to go
He thought he'd invade Canada,
He thought that he was tough
Instead we went to Washington....
And burned down all his stuff!

And the White House burned, burned, burned,
And we're the one's that did it!
It burned, burned, burned,
While the president ran and cried.
It burned, burned, burned,
And things were very historical.
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies
Waa waa waah!
In the War of 1812!

Us hillbillies from Kentucky,
Dressed in green and red,
Left home to fight in Canada,
But they returned home dead
It's the only war the Yankees lost, except for Vietnam
And also the Alamo... and the Bay of... ham.
The loser was America,
The winner was ourselves,
So join right in and gloat about the War of 1812

And the White House burned, burned, burned,
And we're the one's that did it!
It burned, burned, burned,
While the president ran and cried.
It burned, burned, burned,
And things were very historical.
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies
Waa waa waah!
In the War of 1812!

In 1812, we were just sittin' around,
Mindin' our own business, puttin' crops into the ground.
We heard the soldiers coming and we didn't like that sound.
So we took a boat to Washington and burned it to the ground.

Oh... we... fired our guns, but the Yankees kept-a coming,
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and the Yankees started running,
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico, oh, oh....
They ran through the snow and they ran through the forest,
They ran through the bushes where the beavers wouldn't go.
They ran so fast, they forgot to take their culture,
Back to America, and Gulf and Texaco

So, if you go to Washington, its buildings clean and nice,
Bring a pack of matches, and we'll burn the White House twice!

And the White House burned, burned, burned,
But the Americans won't admit it
It burned, burned, burned,
It burned and burned and burned
It burned, burned, burned,
Now, I bet that made them mad
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies
Waa waa waah!
In the War of 1812

Haha I love that song In my first year history class, the prof played it and went through a bunch of reasons why it's all wrong, mostly the fact that Canada wasn't technically Canada in 1812.

But my favourite part is right at the beginning, after the "No Hockey Night in Canada" part, a guy in the background goes "Oh my god!!"

And also, I believe this is one of the songs that is mistakenly credited to the Arrogant Worms... Not sure who it actually belongs to. I'll do some research.

Yep, actually written and recorded by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie

Huh. This is very odd, considering I got both songs this week from a Canadian guy (Mike) off of what he purported to be an Arrogant Worms CD. Then again, that WOULD explain why neither song is on MY Arrogant Worms CD (Gift Wrapped - their "greatest hits").

To quote from Wikipedia: "These mistakes are most often made on downloading programs such as Limewire, eMule, Kazaa and Morpheus."

I think I know where Mike gets his music.

Do you like good music? That sweet soul music?

French Letter

Can you see yourself, under a coconut tree
Wanting for nothing, or maybe a cooler breeze
Where all things romantic, in the south pacific
And the only peace is the spit on a feast, your feast yeah

Do you know what makes the ocean glow
Do you know what makes the ocean glow
When unwelcome guests, are making nuclear tests
are making nuclear tests, are making nuclear tests,
are making nuclear tests

Oh yes, no nukes hah ahhhhhhh
Nuclear mis energy, nuclear, nuclear, free yo yo yo yo yo


Is there nothing at all who can appease your greed,
Could you please leave the air we breath
Why is it something we’ve done
You all seem to forget
About nuclear fallout and the long term effects

Is there anything gained when you hide the plane
Anything gained when you hide the plane
Let me be more specific, get out of the pacific
Ki te la pacific, get out of the pacific
Ki te la pacific

Oh yes, no nukes hah ahhhhhhh
Nuclear mis energy, nuclear, nuclear,
Nuclear free yeah
Nuclear free yeah
Nuclear free yeah

Nuclear free yeah
Nuclear free yeah
Nuclear free yeah

Nuclear free yeah
Nuclear free yeah
Nuclear free yeah

Nuclear free yeah

*In the 1980s, and the first half of the 90s, The Herbs were considered to be the Kings of the South Pacific with ten Top 20 singles hits. Though infectiously upbeat, the Herbs' music has always been forthcoming in its messages. Their 1980 hit 'French Letter' (which spent 11 weeks on the charts) came to express the country's anti-nuclear stance - 14 years later it was re-recorded to garner support for the prevention of nuclear testing at Mururoa. Similarly, 'No Nukes', 'Nuclear Waste' and 'Light Of The Pacific' did as much for the national psyche as they did for popular radio. 'Long Ago' was a diverse album featuring tracks like 'On My Mind', 'Stolen Time', 'Repatriation' and 'Jah Reggae', all which had their own message.

The Trolls were a real favourite of mine - check them out, stu. Some of their best stuff is dated now, and some is maybe a little too Canadian oriented to make sense to outsiders, but boy they were funny. "The Toronto Song" is another of theirs that is often attributed to the Worms. My kids know all the words to their songs, of course - they are from my hometown, Edmonton. Heyday was in the eighties, at the Fringe.

Speaking of the Worms, though - if you ever get a chance to see them live, jump at it. They are very physical comics, and a whole lot of fun.

If you have a place in your heart for silly Canadians, you might want to look up Radio Free Vestibule - I think they eventually just called themselves the Vestibules. Their most famous piece is probably "Bulbous Bouffant".

By the way, my son's email address was burnthewhitehouse until I gently suggested that it was perhaps not completely suitable for scholarship applications - especially the ones that went to the States.... There is just something about the War of 1812 that gets teenage Canadian boys all excited.

Oh I love "The Toronto Song"! Mostly just the first verse... us Ottawans don't like Toronto too much

I would have to suggest "A Terroist Christmas". It's on one of Dr. Demento's CDs, "Holidays in Dementia", and worth a listen.

Nice.

I won't copy the lyrics here but I'll add that The Stars and Stripes of Corruption by The Dead Kennedys is still very apt.

How about "Kinko the Clown" by Odgen Edsel?

"A$$hole" by Dennis Leary, but then again, that is by design.

Smells Like Teen Spirit- Nirvana. Or, for that matter, any other Nirvana songs...

If ppolitically incorrect is defined as "the lyrics have to be changed to protect the kiddies" then there is a standout candidate:

"The Sloop John B" by Beach Boys[?] I am not a pop music fan so I think it was Beach Boys.

Anywat, I was 11 years young and in music at school we had these "Song Books". From them we sang "Downtown" by Billy Joel, "The Ryebuck Shearer [traditional Aussie bush song] etc. One lesson we got to "The Sloop John B". Our music teacher "kids, the lyrics have been changed in this book; in the song proper there was a line "Drinking all night, got into a fight, I feel so fed up I want to go home" etc. How stupid: none of you kids are going to drink and fight because of a song".

"So What" by Anti-Nowhere League, covered by Metallica.

"One in a Million" - Guns N Roses

This thread might be the most appropriate place to note that Joe Bird, of the Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, died last month of a heart attack at the ridiculous age of 41. In a tribute, an Edmonton city councilor played the Toronto Song in a council meeting.

Anton beat me to it--my first thought was "One in a Million" by GN'R.

How about "Under My Thumb" or "Brown Sugar" by the Rolling Stones?

If we're talking simply subversive and touching on dangerous topics then how about

'Childcatcher' by Patrick Wolf. He played it live the other night, and the crowd was dancing like crazy- until they listened to the lyrics lol.

How about Randy Newman's "Short People"

"Short People got no reason to live. They got little hands, little eyes, they walk around telling great big lies, the got little noses, tiny little teeth, they wear platform shoes on their tiny little feet.."

then later.."They got baby little legs that stand so low you got to pick them up just to say hello, they got little cars that go beep beep beep, they got little voices that go peep peep peep, they got grubby little fingers and dirty little minds..."

Funny songs, but not if you're short, and definitely politically incorrect.

I'd say about two thirds of Al Yankovich's catalogue is offensive to somebody or the other. Stuff like...
-Eat It
-Christmas At Ground Zero
-Fat
-I Think I'm a Clone Now
-Trigger Happy
-Amish Paradise
Those are just the ones I can think of offhand. I'm sure there are many others.

Then there are misogynist songs like Graham Parker's 'Hotel Chambermaid':

"When the lights are low you know I'm going to go to my hotel chambermaid
I'm going to jump the garden and come on hard all right
While the river's rolling outside the window
Going to see her going to get love
Going to shut the bellboy out tonight
Verse
When the world is dead I'm going to make the bed with that hotel chambermaid
She'll bring the coffee in the morning with a smile
She don't ask me where I come from
I crept in and I soon be done
I just want to hide here for a while..."

And then there's Harry Chapin's 'Dogtown' about a little old whaling town where a thrice widowed woman is left with just a dog for company when her latest husband is lost at sea:
"Sitting by the fireside, the embers slowly die.
Is it a sign of weakness when a woman wants to cry?
The dog is closely watching the fire glints in his eye.
No use to go to sleep this early, no use to even try..."
Let's draw a veil over what happens next.

There's a lot of Voltaire's songs that most people would call politically incorrect. "God Thinks" and "Dead Girls Like Me" are two that come to mind that are also two of my favorites. Also, politically incorrect is all I've heard Stephen Lynch do.