do they turn out positive?
I was thinking the other day that it is about 5 years since my husband left. At the time I was angry and miserable, I suppose because he was something of a taker and a user and I thought it was really MY place to leave him!
I have realised lately what a huge, huge favour he did me. I am completely independent, confident and free as air.I come and go as I please. I eat when and what I like. I wear what I like. If I want to slob out in front of the PC for a whole day in my nightclothes I can.
If I want company there are plenty of friends around. If I don't I can shut the door, not answer the phone and have joyous peace.
So all that angst has led to a blissful existence. I know I am a nicer person.Not selfish or self centred, just self reliant and have peace of mind.
Anyone else feel like that?

I suppose some do turn out positive and some don't.

I guess the worse thing that happened to me were the events of four years ago which spread over eight months, I wouldn't wish any of that on my worse enemy. Lots of you know what happened to me, I won't bore the rest of you with it, it is there if you want to search back. The best thing to come out of that was the amazing support that I received from the members here, something I will never forget. Apart from finding out just how kind many people can be nothing positive came from those events, they couldn't.

I can relate partly to your post in regards to a marriage breakdown but mine wasn't really like yours. If anyone had the right to be angry and miserable about our marriage breakdown it should my ex. I know I have poked fun at him and told you about some of his 'quirks'. My marriage wasn't the happiest, but then that was my fault as I really ought never to have married him, I didn't really love him, it was just a double rebound. I came here to live to start afresh after a relationship breakdown, I started dating this man (my ex) then almost two years later the 'love of my life' turned up here and we joined him and his girlfriend (whom we had broken up over) for dinner. The following week my ex proposed and I accepted.

I was miserable after a while, as I deserved, and finally couldn't live like that any longer so told him I wanted to leave. He tried everything, like counselling, to make me stay but I wouldn't. So he told me to look for a house for him to buy for me, then he gave me alimony until we worked out a financial settlement which was very generous to me. We parted friends, and are still friendly when we see each other.

The positive thing for him was that he met another woman and has now been married to her for many years. I don't care for her at all and she has come between my children and their father but that is a different story.

I have to agree with you about not having a husband though, I now have all the benefits you have listed above.

The first thing that I thought of when I read your post was my job.

I used to be a high school teacher, which I didn't enjoy at all, so I gave it up to work in the local doctors' surgery. At first it was meant to be a temporary job, for four months, while another girl was overseas. However, I ended up working there for ten years.

I loved my job in the surgery; the doctors, the patients and the other girls I worked with were lovely - except the practice manager. She was the manager from hell and the most two-faced person I ever met. I later found out that she was angry that I was chosen for the job which she wanted for one of her friends. I was interviewed by her and two of the doctors and they overruled her when the final choice was made. Words can't describe the hell she put me through and if I told you some of the things she did to me, you'd scarcely believe me.

The only reason I stuck it out for ten years was because, apart from her, I liked the job and it was convenient, being located so close to home and with the doctors always being flexible with our rosters which enabled me to pursue IVF treatment. Also, a big reason why I didn't quit was because I knew she wanted me to, and was trying to force me to quit, so I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of doing what she wanted. She tried to fire me but the doctors wouldn't let her.

Eventually, however, I decided that I'd had enough and I needed a career change. I applied to go back to university so I wasn't really looking for another job, but one day while I was waiting to hear about my university application, I happened to see my perfect job advertised in the paper. I applied for it and got it, and I am still working at it 13 years down the track. I love my job and still enjoy going to work each day. And the big bonus was I got three times the salary at the new job compared to the old one.

One of the girl I worked with at the surgery told our old manager "You did her a favour. If you hadn't been such a b***h, she'd still be here, but instead she's earning way more than you are".

And it's true - if that office manager hadn't been so negative, I'd never be where I am today.

My mother was a good mother up until I was about ten. Then something clicked inside of her - I don't know what it was - but she got really messed up, and began treating me very poorly.

Thinking back, she was pregnant when she first started going downhill as a mother. She would get all angry over the slightest things, and eventually, I started to treat her bad. A horrible game that lasted for years. I began treating her well again, but she still rarely treats me good.

As it turns out, it seems that every woman on that side of the family "chooses" a daughter to hate. My great-grandmother, my grandmother, my mother... it has taught me now what true love is, and how to show it. I will definitely be more conscious of how I treat my children. So I guess you could say that that is a negative situation turned positive.

My negative event which turned into a godsend isn't as dramtic as any what have been mentioned, but I have mentioned it a lot.
I'm registered disabled, and not able to do much exercise. But in 2003, my life quality was pretty rubbish. I was constantly in pain, and I was eating the wrong foods, which made me overweight.
After various visits to the Doctor and many blood tests, I was told I was borderline diabetes. If I didn't stop eating the wrong food, I would have fully-blown diabetes, and inject myself every day. Needless to say, it was a big wake-up call.
Now, nearly six years later, I am much better. I still don't do much exercise, but I am not in as much pain. I've lost over 4 stone. I do still eat "goodies" over the weekend and at special occasions, but being told that you were border-line diabetes was definately a changing point in my life for the better

My negative event was a stroke which happened in July last year. I'm 25. My left side was paralysed. It's been a long haul but I'm going to start driving again, writing (I was left-handed) and move out. It's strange but my tragedy has given me drive to better my life. I'm returning to university and it's taught me to cherish my friends and family. It's looking up!

cherubrokker I can relate to that one having had one myself, fortunately I regained most of the movement over time.

There WAS a positive side to my stroke I suppose, that was the first indication that there was something far more serious wrong with me, so in fact going into hospital with a stroke actually saved my life.

Good for you Matt, well done for picking yourself up!

My mother contracted polio a month after graduating from high school while working out of state for college money. She was hospitalized far from her family...but in that lonely hospital she met my dad. They were married until his death 34 years later.

Yes! I could write a book here. In November I broke my leg. This was due to many things- I had ankle surgery Oct 08 and while that healed well, I could not afford the leg brace my doctor wanted me to have. So, in Nov 09 my tibia bone was pressing down on the pins, fractured and broke when I ran down my stairs one morning!

But my situation was better than when I was healing from ankle surgery. Back then, I was unemployed, with little support. This year I am working as a tutor assistant and volunteer recruiter for an elementary school. My school has been so supportive- helped by giving me a bigger place to work in to accommodate the wheelchair I was using, the book room with a computer (that I didn't have in my supervisor's small office). I became friends with one of the teachers and she gave me much needed rides.

Before breaking my leg I was always rushing to and fro so to speak. Too much to do, not enough tutors, worried about how to find them... After the break, I HAD to slow down. And you know what? I got more done! I found a way to get my job done, have recruited over 50 people and it is all going well now!

Oh, and regaining mobility a second time is just as sweet as the first time. Being able to drive myself to work is a dream. There are things we take for granted sometimes.

Sometimes, reading about other peoples lives makes you greatful for your own. I have had a pretty tough year, but you have all made me appreciate the things that did NOT go wrong in mine! Thank you.

Yes, you are right about that veronikkamarrz. We do not appreciate the troubles we are not facing until we see them/ are reminded of them.

Sometimes I'll watch the Cops TV show and think, I am so thankful I am not running from the law or facing the Judge about some criminal behavior. I realize I could/ can make mistakes too but shoplifting or stealing is just not on my agenda anytime soon and I instantly feel better.

Of course the flip side of this is when I face the troubles I do have, and get through them: I feel stronger than ever and a bit proud. And I feel ready to face the rest of the stuff I must do to make life what I want it to be. It is hard because I am still basically alone but I am learning only I can change that!

And learning that some things in life just are. No big rhyme or reason, like I am ALWAYS trying to figure out! If not faced with these troubles and the aloneness of my life, I don't think I would have seen that point as clearly as I do.