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#468396 - Wed Apr 22 2009 03:44 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
Markboynz Offline
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Registered: Thu Mar 19 2009
Posts: 84
Loc: Auckland NZ
I couldn't be sure what the "New Zealand" way of eating is, but I was initially taught to eat tines down, although it wasn't considered too bad to use the fork the other way up. But to weigh in on the hand debate, I was always taught fork in left, knife in right, IF you are using both. If you are eating with just a fork (I'm completely failing to think of an example, but I frequently do) then the fork is in the right hand. Hence, if I am eating something, I could in theory cut it all up, (fork-left, knife-right), then put down my knife, transfer the fork to my right hand, and proceed to consume the meal.

I made some comments in the Profanity thread in the Quizzyland section regarding certain words that have more or less severity in different countries, but PLEASE do not go to check it out if you are easily offended. I don't believe that they should offend many, if any, but do recognise that there is a possibility that they might, so provide this caveat.
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#468397 - Wed Apr 22 2009 03:48 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
Santana2002 Offline
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Registered: Mon Apr 14 2003
Posts: 8867
Loc: France
Quote:

Does this hold with things like mashed potatoes, peas, corn, etc.?




To put it bluntly: Yes!

Everything is eaten with the fork facing tines down. Gravy is spread over the food already on the fork using a knife, peas and other small pieces of food are squashed onto the back of the fork with a little pressure to keep them in place, rice too.

Pasta (spaghetti or tagliatelle) is about the only food I can think of which is eaten otherwise. For that the fork is held in the right hand, a large spoon in the left, the fork picks out a strand or two of pasta, place the tines in the bowl of the spoon and twirl until the pasta is wound around the fork, then bring the fork, tines down, to your mouth.
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#468398 - Wed Apr 22 2009 03:52 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
Schoonie101 Offline
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Registered: Sun Jun 24 2007
Posts: 1178
Loc: California USA
Oh wow! Now I consider myself to be a terrible scavenger as far as going fir 2nd helpings but even so, would NEVER dream of eating right off someone else's plate, ESPECIALLY without asking first. Wow. That is crass. But from what you say in your 2nd paragraph, sounds like a real meathead (and that's saying it nicely ). I think worldwide, bringing up what you describe is pretty out of line! Worldwide consensus?

Santana, I guess once you get used to it, it's hard to imagine anything else! I've just never tipped the fork upside down to eat. But now I know! If I do end up traveling to the UK in the future, I'll make sure I get some practice in.

Now, the kisses on the cheek... opposite sex, sure no problem getting used to that. But kissing another man on the cheek, shoot, that would take, well, I don't know if I could do that. Would be SERIOUSLY awkward!

I'm one of those people that also greets (or tries to) people along the street or on the main trail to my local beach, whether I know them or not. You'd be surprised how much of a cooler-than-thou mentality there is in that some people won't even acknowledge you with even a hello back to you. Meathead mentality. Usually don't let it bother me but I sometimes succumb to the temptation to yell back, "oh, sorry, didn't realize you were deaf-mute". Heh, of course, if that was the case, I'd be mortified beyond belief! But I live in Orange County and I know that isn't the case. Shoot, like the time at Pedro's Tacos when a friend and I asked the high school girl next to us to not smoke her cigarette 6' from our food. I mean, some of the best Mexican food in South OC - I don't want my post-surf meal ruined by cig smoke! Oh, you should have seen the glare, as if we inconvenienced HER! Ha!

And well, ran on a bit there... but welcome to OC! Too bad so many women spend their money on silicone instead of manners/books/knowledge/expansion of IQ past 60.
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#468399 - Wed Apr 22 2009 04:03 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
Leau Offline
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Registered: Sun Jun 16 2002
Posts: 5337
Loc: Nijmegen/Brisbane
Quote:

If you are eating with just a fork




In the Netherlands, the polite thing is to NEVER eat with just a fork, you always hold your knife in the other hand, even when you're not actively using it. (Obviously, what people do when they're alone is probably something else entirely )

Quote:

Pasta (spaghetti or tagliatelle) is about the only food I can think of which is eaten otherwise. For that the fork is held in the right hand, a large spoon in the left, the fork picks out a strand or two of pasta, place the tines in the bowl of the spoon and twirl until the pasta is wound around the fork, then bring the fork, tines down, to your mouth.




Oh wow, you can do that in France? I always thought that was the way to do it as well, until I was rather sternly told to hold the fork in my left hand and use the plate instead of a spoon to push the fork against while turning it around. I much prefer the spoon over the plate though!
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#468400 - Wed Apr 22 2009 04:21 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
sue943 Offline
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Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 38004
Loc: Jersey
Channel Islands    
If you are eating cake, as in afternoon tea, you would just use a fork and that would be with your right hand. You should try eating a hard meringue with a fork if you haven't tried it.
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#468401 - Wed Apr 22 2009 04:35 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
Leau Offline
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Registered: Sun Jun 16 2002
Posts: 5337
Loc: Nijmegen/Brisbane
Ah, yes, of course you're right, Sue. I forgot about the situations other than the regular meal at a dinner table.
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#468402 - Wed Apr 22 2009 04:46 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
sue943 Offline
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Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 38004
Loc: Jersey
Channel Islands    
My son-in-law doesn't have good table manners, it makes me cringe but it isn't my business. He doesn't even place his knife and fork together and at an angle when he has finished eating his meal. Shock horror.
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#468403 - Wed Apr 22 2009 05:12 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
MotherGoose Offline
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Registered: Mon Apr 22 2002
Posts: 5007
Loc: Western Australia
Having had a "multicultural" upbringing - an English mother and a Dutch father, and having lived in Australia and America, and having travelled extensively - I suppose it is no surprise that sometimes I eat tines up and sometimes tines down, depending on the nature of the food (generally I eat tines down).

But honestly, until now, it has never occurred to me to consider the relative merits or politeness of eating tines up or tines down. I can't see why one way is acceptable and the other way isn't. I don't think I've ever noticed whether other people use utensils differently from me. And if I did notice, I wouldn't consider it bad manners if their way was different - I would simply consider it different.

To me, bad table manners means eating with your mouth open, talking with a mouth full of food, elbows on the table, and eating food that is clearly not finger-food with the fingers. I once saw an American girl eat a fried egg with her fingers - it was both horrible and fascinating.


Edited by MotherGoose (Wed Apr 22 2009 05:13 AM)
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#468404 - Wed Apr 22 2009 05:18 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
sue943 Offline
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Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 38004
Loc: Jersey
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I wouldn't consider it bad manners for a non-Brit to eat in the fashion to which they are accustomed in their own country. Certainly when I went to the US I ate in my normal way, I didn't adopt the swapping hands method, I just watched in wonderment at the Americans.
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#468405 - Wed Apr 22 2009 05:27 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
dippo Offline
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Registered: Sat Jun 14 2008
Posts: 745
Loc: London
England UK         
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the Islamic practice of NEVER using the left hand when touching communal dishes. If you sit down to a traditional Bedouin feast, the various dishes are placed on a cloth on the ground, and those sitting around reach in to take some for their own plates. I was told that if anyone reached in with their left hand, the dish would be removed as it had been soiled, although I never saw this happen, presumably because everyone knew better. The left hand is considered the hand reserved for 'personal' things.

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#468406 - Wed Apr 22 2009 05:29 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
denni19 Offline


Registered: Tue Sep 05 2006
Posts: 14562
Loc: Bucharest Romania
Quote:

But we do put the tines in our mouth pointing down - you will see in a couple of weeks.



Boy, all this insight into British table manners is starting to scare me . I guess we'll be eating at home for the entire two weeks, Sue. After what's been said in here I wouldn't dare to blemish any social circumstance with my ways of carrying food into my piehole.

Quote:

O my goodness, Poor Denni! I hope you are not going to have etiquette lessons from Emily Post every morning of your visit. (Just shovel it in love, she cannot hit you THAT hard)



- Thank You Sara! Phew! Now I'm a bit relieved but I still have to ask... what sort of fork/spoon/knife do you use for eating lollipops? I plan on living on those while in Jersey.

Quote:

To me, bad table manners means eating with your mouth open, talking with a mouth full of food, elbows on the table, and eating food that is clearly not finger-food with the fingers.



MG, thank you for beating me to it .
We follow the same approach here in Romania. And it's bad manners too if you help yourself from somebody else's plate or if you clean your plate with bread, tongue, whatever.


Edited by denni19 (Wed Apr 22 2009 05:35 AM)
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#468407 - Wed Apr 22 2009 05:40 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
sue943 Offline
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Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 38004
Loc: Jersey
Channel Islands    
Er, I am afraid that when I go to Big Vern's I normally eat with my fingers, even the chips (fries)!
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#468408 - Wed Apr 22 2009 05:53 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
Copago Offline
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Registered: Tue May 15 2001
Posts: 14384
Loc: Australia
I always clean my plate up with bread especially after stew or thick soup And lots i know do too .. never thought of it as being bad mannered.


Edited by Copago (Wed Apr 22 2009 05:54 AM)

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#468409 - Wed Apr 22 2009 05:56 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
ren33 Offline
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Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12593
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
Glad you mentioned Muslim food, dippo. I always use my right hand when eating Indian and Pakistani food. I learnt it from My husband who was born there. It is a great way to eat.That way you can really clean up all the lovely curry with your bread.


Edited by ren33 (Wed Apr 22 2009 05:59 AM)

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#468410 - Wed Apr 22 2009 06:05 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
denni19 Offline


Registered: Tue Sep 05 2006
Posts: 14562
Loc: Bucharest Romania
Copago, I always clean my plate up with bread after (almost)anything, even if it's considered bad table manners where I am.
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#468411 - Wed Apr 22 2009 06:45 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
dippo Offline
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Registered: Sat Jun 14 2008
Posts: 745
Loc: London
England UK         
It's not just food in the Islamic culture. It's also considered bad manners to pass anything to someone else with your left hand. Try to remember that when you're handing over your money in the supermarket.

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#468412 - Wed Apr 22 2009 08:30 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
MadMags Offline
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Registered: Sat May 03 2008
Posts: 17092
Loc: Orosi Costa Rica              
Having lived here now for two and a half years, it's interesting to notice the difference in cultural manners between here and Canada. For example, buying something in a store, where you are served. In Canada, a smile and a "Hi" is all that is needed to appear good mannered before you then ask for what you need. In Costa Rica, however, when you go into a store, you should say "Good morning, how are you?" "I'm well, thank you." "Good, good." (The counter person is also saying the same to you.) THEN you ask for whatever it is you'd like, and not before. Without this exchange of pleasantries first, you'd be regarded as rude, and non-caring towards the shop clerk. The same format for stopping to chat with someone you know on the street, except you'd also ask about their family.

I love the fact that in Costa Rica, whenever you pass someone on the street, known or not, both people always say either "Buenas" [Good morning/afternoon] or more frequently "Adios". Now, 'adios' usually means 'goodbye', except when in passing, then it is taken to mean "I'm not going to stop and chat, so I will say 'adios' which now means I recognize you as a person, and so will acknowledge your presence by a quick word." To pass by someone without this word is considered cold and rude. I personally find this custom quite charming, and wonderfully polite.
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#468413 - Wed Apr 22 2009 08:44 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
ktstew Offline
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Registered: Tue Jan 18 2005
Posts: 8717
Loc: Arkansas USA
Quote:

I love the fact that in Costa Rica, whenever you pass someone on the street, known or not, both people always say either "Buenas" [Good morning/afternoon] or more frequently "Adios". Now, 'adios' usually means 'goodbye', except when in passing, then it is taken to mean "I'm not going to stop and chat, so I will say 'adios' which now means I recognize you as a person, and so will acknowledge your presence by a quick word." To pass by someone without this word is considered cold and rude.




You're the first person I've run across to comment on this everyday nicety one experiences in a latin country. I've tried to explain it to others and all I've gotten is a quizzical look.
I was in southern Mexico and then Guatemala and saw it happen. Boys and girls walk at dusk in sort of a promenade -circling a plaza or market place on foot, meeting friends. American teens execute this same manuever in cars, circling around drive ins. Nothing picturesque here -just fumes and engine noise.


Edited by ktstew (Wed Apr 22 2009 08:46 AM)
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#468414 - Wed Apr 22 2009 09:44 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
MadMags Offline
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Registered: Sat May 03 2008
Posts: 17092
Loc: Orosi Costa Rica              
I'd be interested in hearing about this one: Shoes off or on in another's home?

In Canada, it's polite to take your shoes off after entering another's home. Once in a while someone will say "Oh don't bother" but for the most part it is appreciated by the host. I'd say 95% or more prefer you take your shoes off. No doubt snow has something to do with this cultural habit, but it is done all year round, wet or dry.

When I first arrived here, I'd of course take my shoes off inside the front entrance. My hosts were horrified. No way they wanted me to walk in bare feet on the cold ceramic tile that is the norm here. I was equally as horrified to be tracking dirt from my shoes onto their pristine clean floors.

What's the custom where you live?
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#468415 - Wed Apr 22 2009 09:53 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
ClaraSue Offline
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Registered: Sun May 18 2003
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Loc: Arizona USA
People wear shoes inside the house all the time. I prefer to have guests take them off in the entryway before stepping on carpets or rugs. Likewise I will usually take my shoes off when entering someone's home. But then, I'm a little OCD when it comes to germs and just the thought that someone's shoes have walked through grass where animals might have used the toilet, parking lots where there is car oil and grease, and other awful things, then to have those shoes transfer that to my house where I walk barefooted or may want to sit or lie on the floor. **shudder** It gives me the creeps.
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#468416 - Wed Apr 22 2009 10:12 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
sue943 Offline
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Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 38004
Loc: Jersey
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People don't normally remove their shoes here, they would just wipe them well at the door. I do sometimes remove mine when visiting other people's homes especially if it is wet outside.
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#468417 - Wed Apr 22 2009 10:19 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
Leau Offline
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Registered: Sun Jun 16 2002
Posts: 5337
Loc: Nijmegen/Brisbane
When I was in high school, one of my friends' parents insisted that I took off my shoes when entering their house. Very inconvenient especially those times I only came in briefly while waiting for her to be ready to bike to school with me. It's rather unusual in the Netherlands though. That friend's house is the only house I have ever visited in the Netherlands where I had to take my shoes off. Like Sue, we just wipe our shoes at the door.


Edited by Leau (Wed Apr 22 2009 10:20 AM)
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#468418 - Wed Apr 22 2009 10:38 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
guitargoddess Offline
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Registered: Mon Jul 09 2007
Posts: 41461
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada         
Always shoes off in anyone's home. At least your outdoor shoes. My grandparents keep a supply of inside shoes, because they like having something on their feet while they're walking around inside. But my shoes always come off at the door in my own or other peoples' houses. To me, it'd be rude not to take them off, and I want to anyway. More comfortable
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#468419 - Wed Apr 22 2009 10:59 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
MotherGoose Offline
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Registered: Mon Apr 22 2002
Posts: 5007
Loc: Western Australia
Australians do not tend to remove their shoes inside the house. The only people I know who do this are either Muslim or they have light coloured carpets (more fool them).

Personally I would not remove my shoes for health reasons. I am diabetic and diabetics have to be very particular about foot care - that means not going barefoot and wearing shoes that protect the feet from trauma. I also suffer from fasciitis, which is aggravated by going barefoot. Even if I go barefoot for only half an hour, I pay for it with crippling pain.
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#468420 - Wed Apr 22 2009 11:05 AM Re: Vulgarity and obscenity around the world
MadMags Offline
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Registered: Sat May 03 2008
Posts: 17092
Loc: Orosi Costa Rica              
I agree, gg, it is more comfortable. I still cling to that Canadian custom, and keep a mat for my guests to wipe their feet outside my front door (they rarely do, it's just not the custom here) and a mat just inside the door for my shoes. (They don't sell plastic shoe/boot trays here). The upside to my going barefoot inside means I don't need to wash my floors everyday, the way the Costarricense women do.
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