I sent the following email to an American member and realised when I finished that it was probably complete gobbledegook. Non-Brits, do you understand what I was saying?

I went to fetch my turkey crown this morning, yesterday I pinched a
piece of Christmas cake from a mincepie and nibbles session at the
charity where I help out so I will eat that tomorrow. As a diabetic I
am not supposed to eat much of that sort of thing so there is no point
in making or buying a Christmas cake, this piece will do me nicely.
Cava chilling in the fridge, pigs in blankets defrosting, plenty of
streaky to cover the turkey.

No cheating, do you understand what I am saying?

The parts I didn't get were "turkey crown" and "Cava". Let's wait and see how well others do before you spill the beans.

Same as agony, those two are things/phrases I'm not familiar with.

Why would you freeze pancakes?

Turkey crown, cava, streaky?

Makes perfect sense to me - and enjoy it, Sue, you deserve it!

I know what 'Cava' is, and I think I know what 'streaky' is, but 'turkey crown' has got me scratching my head.

Turkey crown is a turkey minus the legs and wings. No point in buying the legs if you are not keen on dark meat.

Mincepies are made from fruit and beef suet.

Cava Is a sparkling wine.

Pigs in blankets are small sausages (chipolotas) wrapped in bacon.

Streaky is a cut of bacon which is striped with the fat, ie streaked. It is laid across the turkey breast to stop it drying out.

"Cava Is a sparkling wine."
From Spain, of course.

I've heard of pigs in blankets, but not the kind you speak of. Mine is little sausages wrapped in a bun/bread thingy.

Pigs in blankets are sausages wrapped in pancakes.

Not in the UK they are not. These are them

Well, those do look yummy. Yes, here the blankets refer to some kind of pastry, but I think I like the look of yours better.

I still have no idea what you said.

Merry Christmas!

Sounds wonderful, Sue! I can feel my arteries hardening...

No problem understanding any of it dear .Perfect English. Enjoy your meal.

Cava was the only bit I got stuck on.. just goes to prove that Aussies DO speak English !:)

Sue, it was perfect English, and I hope you enjoyed every last mouthful. Although, like VM, I could feel my arteries filling up with every word, I did think it sounded wonderful.