The hedge is entirely my own fault! I ripped up the old useless privet hedge a few years ago and replaced it with bushes, shrubs and climbers which would supply colour throughout the year and would provide nesting places for birds and berries for them to feed on.

The last time I looked out at the garden (about the start of the current G/C) Britain was in the depths of the coldest Winter for about 1,000 years, there was around six foot of snow down and the hedge was in good order after its Autumn pruning.

Something strange has been happening these past few weeks; although the weather forecasters have been telling me that the days are largely sunny the room where I do my research (ie play FT) has become darker and darker. I glanced out of the window to discover that my once tidy hedge had suddenly become the impenetrable forest much beloved of fairy tale writers and was casting a deep dark shadow across my window.

Clearly something had to be done! I gave my bitter half first option of tackling the beast as I explained it was getting too dark to see the computer screen and there was an Expert category coming up which I was desperate to win. Once I’d helped her put her bags into the taxi I prepared for battle. Armed with a pair of secateurs, hacksaw, gelignite etc I set to work...

Pow! Wimpy plants like cotoneaster, honeysuckle, clematis stood no chance and I had them licked soon enough.
Biff! Then came the more tricky customers like roses and hawthorn, sure they are prickly but nothing a decent pair of gardening gloves can’t handle; I was on a roll.
Ouch! Then comes the monster that is Pyrocantha! The name is enough to strike terror into any gardener. Beautiful blossoms and beautiful berries much beloved by blackbirds but an evil heart lurks within. Vicious spines about six inches long stick out from every angle cunningly disguised as harmless twigs. They penetrate even the toughest gloves and slip down the back of your fingernails like red hot needles. Evil sheer unadulterated evil!
The Genghis Khan of the plant world.

Got a worse plant in your garden?

Fantastic tale, I'll be back for part II: mutchisman strikes back. Popcorn not optional.
For the record, I have nothing worse than roses, since using napalm for gardening purposes is frowned upon in The Netherlands.

Thanks Paul - I'm hoping part two won't be until the Autumn. Napalm? Now there's an idea... actually I've taken out the pyracantha and replaced it with something more user-friendly; I think the guy at the garden centre said it was called a triffid.
Only joking, I like watching the birds feed on the berries too much - just hope they appreciate the pain I go through.

I too have pyracanthus - electric hedge trimmers are its match! I have to say though, that care is needed in the tidy up part of the battle as they can sneak under the defences and through gloves as described above.

I don't know about napalm in gardening but the Russians used something like agent orange (The US used it in Vietnam & were heavily criticised) in farming. It helped with harvesting cotton.

Is there any chance that we can see some of these monsters in the photo thread? It gives me an idea for a weekly theme thread"Evil plants". Thanks

Evil plant of the week? Sounds good to me...

There are several species and varieties of pyracanthus, some more lethal than others; here's one example:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/be/Starr_050817-7524_Pyracantha_koidzumii.jpg