Has anyone got a foolproof method of stopping these calls, apparently originating from Asia?

I have been inundated with calls offering to 'fix the viruses on my computer' or 'the fault I have with Sky'. They've now gone on to 'grants to insulate my home' and, probably the best one of all, 'stop unwanted phone calls'.

I am registered with the Telephone Preference Service, but this doesn't stop calls from abroad. I do have caller display, so usually know that the call is going to be 'one of those', but it still means I have to go to the phone. On Monday alone, I had eight calls.

I now usually just pick up the phone and put it down again, but this just seems to prompt another call a few minutes later.

Any ideas anyone?

A whistle can be blown down the phone if you are desperate!

We have a 'do not call' register here in Australia. Basically, if you are on the list nobody except market research and charity companies can call you - otherwise they cna get in big trouble. I have been on the list for a few years now and find it brilliant. For the occasional call I get, I tll them I am on the register and I get a profuse apology and a 'have a nice day, sorry to have bothered you'.

Another one I use is "This is a silent number, can I ask where you got it?" they either apologise or hang up on me.

I have no idea what would work in the UK though so I'm probably not much help except for a sympathetic ear

Offer to call them back...

I have an unlisted number, so do not get many of those calls, but I have found that if you ask what their hobbies are, or what they are wearing, it tends to confuse them. Failing that, just ask them to wait a minute, and go and mow the lawn- they will not be there whan you get back.

My number is ex-directory, I'm registered with the Telephone Preference Service, I have caller ID and the phone is barred to anonymous calls - but they still find me. I want to ignore it but often the "unavailable" number is the hospital, so I can't.

The last anonymous caller wanted to sell me loft insulation, and I told her it was arranged.
"Have you signed the papers?"
Yes.
And she hung up.

There's a lesson I should have learnt. I can do that every time!

The only time I managed to wrong-foot a cold caller was when she said
"Everyone wants to reduce their carbon footprint, don't they?"
And I said no. Oh dear. Her script wasn't expecting that, and hadn't told her how to respond.

But I do love the idea of asking them questions. And offering to call them back. Preferably at home, while they're cooking or eating?

I too, have registered with the TPS and have caller display, but 'withheld' could be family from work, and I have relations abroad so I can't ignore 'international' either. I've stopped just hanging up on the nuisance callers. If they want to waste my time, or, even worse, interrupt a timed FT game then I'll waste theirs, too, so I just put the receiver down on the desk and leave them talking to thin air for a while.

Thanks for your comments. Oz - if I mowed my lawn every time I got one of these calls, I'd end up in your garden, not mine. I have put the phone down, which stops that call, but not the next one. Lesley is right, as doctors, hospitals and banks (to name just a few) also withhold numbers. Most of the unwanted ones are recognisable as they show a series of zeroes or other weird combinations, so I don't have to answer but they just ring back later. Eight calls in one day is harassment in my opinion, but there seems no way to prevent them.

I told the truth to a caller one day. When they asked "How are you?" in a bright and cheery voice I told them "I'm lying on the couch alternating between chills and fevers. I started the day with vomiting and now I have diarrhoea. I'm flitting between being in a daze and unconsciousness." She replied by saying "So it's not a good day to talk to you about cladding your house?" "No." "Can I call back in a few days?" "No."

Just mention a few undesirable symptoms of an illness and they'll go away

True story ~~

Caller: 'Mrs. X?'

Me: (tentatively), 'Yes?'

Caller: 'You have won a car'

Me: 'That's not possible. I haven't entered a contest to win a car.'

Caller: 'Your husband entered.'

Me: 'No, he did not'

Caller: 'Since you have won, that must be what happened.'

Me: 'My husband did not enter a contest to win a car, or anything else.'

Caller: (patronizingly), 'Sometimes husbands do things that their wives don't know about.'

Me: 'I know he did not enter a contest.'

Caller: 'Are you sure? How do you know?'

Me: 'He's been dead for 5 years.'

*click*

P.S. I have never driven in my life, so no one would have entered in my name

Jimb bibway, Nannie english. Depelto de pinto de blue. Cara mia whietime end till. Hulloo?

We have caller ID, and if I don't recognize the number I let it go to voice messages. Family and friends know this, and that they just have to say Hi to get one of us to pick up if we're home. I sometimes am amused to hear a call-centre computer talking to my voicemail message! The number of calls has dropped significantly, for what it's worth.

I am feeling quite deprived, talk about Billy No Friends, even the nuisance callers don't want to speak to me.

It sounds as if you need to move here to Jersey, I have lived at this address for 22 years and have had TWO unsolicited calls in that time, one was for double galzing from a local company so I said that in the event of me wanting to replace my windows I would now know which company NOT to use. The other was someone wanting to sell me a SKY maintenance contract, assured me that an engineer would be at my house within hours so I asked where they were based, it was in the UK, so I asked if he seriously expected me to believe that they would hop on a plane or boat just like that - also my SKY box has never broken down in twelve years so I guess it owes me nothing if I just bought a new one.

I'd love to move to Jersey, Sue, not just to avoid the calls. I've tried lots of things but not L-T's tactic of letting the calls go to answerphone. I'll give that a go. Only two calls yesterday and one (so far) today. I'm starting to write them down to see if there's a pattern. I'm wondering if answering the phone is the worst thing to do as it lets them know I'm around during the day.

Trouble is, a lot of the calls are computer generated and dialled automatically - there's often nobody there straight away when you answer as they're busy annoying someone else. Good as you can put the phone down but bad as they seem to ring back then.

I've used a similar technique as above when answering "Don't you want to save money then?" - I usually say "Oh no! I've got loads and I love spending it - no need to save money". throws them off every time. Usually just a firm "I'm not interested, please don't call back. Goodbye" gets rid of them that time but they do tend to keep coming back for more.

Speaking a foriegn sounding tongue gets you put on the 'immigrant, probably has no money to spend' list and they don't call back or they hire a linguist to try to contact you at great expense to them. I go with the answer machine tactic most of the time and replay the messages to hear the other boiler room callers yacking in the background.

In general, I don't think it hurts to let anyone know that there is at least one person around during the day. Better than telling the world that the house is empty for much of the day.

I have been getting mid-morning calls from an "unavailable" number on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, asking if I want patient transport to my Thursday cardiac rehab sessions. At least I assume that's who it is, because I have managed to answer the phone a few times at about 10.30, and it's always been them. Otherwise, they hang up without leaving a message. The other day one of them hung on for long enough to leave a message, which was a man's voice shouting across a big room as he put the phone down. (I've been grateful for the service, but I'm going to drive myself there next week.)

I had another "unavailable" call early yesterday evening. It sounded as though it came from abroad, because it took so long to connect. She checked my name, hoped I was having a lovely evening (huh?), and asked if she could have a minute of my time.
No. I've heard that "minute" one before.
"Really, it will only be a minute."
OK then. One minute. I'm timing you.
Within the next 60 seconds, she asked me three questions obviously designed to find out if I was in the market for a credit card, an endowment mortgage, or a rewarding relationship with a major charity.

Minute's up. *in my best Basil Fawlty voice* Thank you so much for calling - and goodnight.

"Please" *in her best desperate voice* "this will only be a minute. Do you have at least £5,000 of unsecured loan?"

I wonder how many people would be prepared to give an answer to that question, to a complete stranger, over the phone. I wasn't. She was still talking when I hung up.

And the lovely thing about hanging up on her? I felt no pain! Given the opportunity, I could even do it again. That would be nice.

Tell them you are retired. They immediately assume you have no money.

"Je suis desolé , mais je ne comprends pas du tout."
Goes well here as the second language is almost never French.

The callers invariably start by asking 'how are you today', or something similar. I always reply saying 'it's none of your business, but I'm very ill actually, and have some serious family problems'. They' always expecta 'I'm very well' type answer, so are thrown off by such replies.

Since I'm an OAP, I have lots of time to waste with these nuisance calls. Remember that many of these folks are getting paid on commission, so they don't want to spend any more time on a prospective customer than they have to.

There are lots of ways to get inside the telemarketers heads and drive them barmy. Just a few:
Pretend that you're hard of hearing and ask them to talk very loudly.
Call your dog over and let them listen to the sounds of the dog sniffing at the phone.
Ask for advice on a sensitive medical problem - painful hemmorhoids usually works well.
If it's a woman, ask her if she's wearing knickers...
If it's a man, ask him if he's wearing knickers...

You get the idea. My recent favorite was a call from a company offering me extended warranty on my car. The initial caller fell for my situation: a 1971 Mercury Montego with 350,000 miles on it. He took all my details (which were false) and passed me onto his manager for a quote and closing the deal. The manager was a woman who looked at the information and started formulating a quote. "We can't find a '71 Montego in our database." "Oh, I'm sure it must be there, check again, please." Of course, extended warranties are only designed for late model vehicles - not ones that are 40 years old.
After several minutes of looking for the make and model, I started getting upset. You call to sell me a warranty, and I'm ready to buy and you're backing out of the deal now? She got very apologetic. In the end, I started feeling sorry for her and told her what I had done. She said a few choice words and hung up.

I just wish they'd stop spamming me with text messages!! Those I have to pay for...

I heard the effects of this response from the other end, too many years ago to admit. One of the men in the office decided to phone and make a complaint about something that was nothing to do with work. Whatever he said, he ended up repeating two or three times, at increasing volume, till he gave up. He didn't realise what they were doing, and it was very sad to listen to.

If you did it to unsolicited callers, it wouldn't be sad at all. It would be great fun, if I could keep it up.

If you haven't got a dog, will the offer of a brief conversation with a toddler have the desired effect?

LOL Lesley, all your responses have been absolutely hilarious!

Personally, I don't pick up the phone if it's not a number I recognise. Hubby, on the other hand, loves to play games with folks. Here's how one conversation went:

Caller: "Hi there, if you can answer this question correctly, you will win x number of x"..."

Him: "OKAY!!! Let's go for it!"

Caller: "What is the most popular sport in Canada?" (her script probably said hockey, football and baseball).

Him: "Curling"

Caller: "Ummm, no, that's not correct".

Him: "Really? I didn't win? I can't believe it!"

Caller: "Would you like to try again?"

Him: "No thank you. I will pick curling every time, so there is no point in calling again. Have a good evening"

(click)

This is what my dad used to do when called by phone solicitors: It was usually a record club (remember 45's and 33 1/3?) He would tell them he was going deaf and if it was someone wanting to sell a magazine subscription, he would say he was blind!