Rules
Terms of Use

Topic Options
#589418 - Tue Jan 25 2011 09:38 PM Farmer Fred
MotherGoose Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Mon Apr 22 2002
Posts: 4855
Loc: Western Australia
Farmer Fred lived on a quiet rural highway. As time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.

So this particular day Farmer Fred called the local police station to complain, “You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.”

“What do you want me to do?” asked the policeman.

“I don't care; just do something about those crazy drivers!”

So the next day the policeman had road-workers go out to erect a sign that said:

SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer Fred called the policeman and said, “You've still got to do something about these drivers. The School Crossing sign seems to make them go even faster!”

So, again, the policeman sent out the road-workers to put up a new sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer Fred called and called every day for three weeks.

Finally, he said to the policeman, “Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?”

The policeman said, “Sure thing, put up your own sign”. He was going to let Farmer Fred do just about anything in order to get him off his back.

The cop got no more calls from Farmer Fred. Three weeks later, curiosity got the better of the cop and he decided to give Farmer Fred a call. “How’s the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?”

“Oh, I sure did,” replied Farmer Fred, “and not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy.” He hung up the phone.

The policeman was really curious now and he thought to himself, “I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign. It might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers...”

So he drove out to Fred's farm house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray painted on a sheet of plywood...

NUDIST COLONY – SLOW DOWN AND WATCH OUT FOR CHICKS!



Edited by MotherGoose (Tue Jan 25 2011 09:39 PM)
_________________________
Don't say "I can't" ... say " I haven't learned how, yet." (Reg Bolton)

Top
#589422 - Tue Jan 25 2011 10:43 PM Re: Farmer Fred
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12428
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
LOL! That made me chuckle!
_________________________
Wandering aimlessly through FT since 1999.

Top
#589721 - Wed Jan 26 2011 10:24 PM Re: Farmer Fred
ozzz2002 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Mon Dec 03 2001
Posts: 20027
Loc: Sydney NSW Australia
Teehee. smile
_________________________
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.

Ex-Editor, Hobbies and Sports, and Forum Moderator

Top
#599325 - Sat Feb 26 2011 05:19 AM Re: Farmer Fred
Eraserhead Offline
Prolific

Registered: Tue Feb 25 2003
Posts: 1825
Loc: Outer Sydney NSW Australia    
Farmer Fred was watching the road to see how well his sign was working. A driver, watching out for chicks, failed to notice a rabbit hopping across the road and ran it over.

The driver, being an animal lover, stopped to see if the rabbit was hurt, but alas the rabbit was dead. Farmer Fred watched curiously, as the driver went to his car and took out an aerosol can.

He sprayed the contents of the can over the rabbit and to Farmer Fred's great surprise, the rabbit jumped up and hopped down the road. Every 5 metres or so, it would turn around and wave at the driver.

Farmer Fred was fascinated and approached the driver. "That was amazing", Farmer Fred said, "What's in that can"?

The driver replied "Hair restorer"............................wait for it.................."with permanent wave".


Edited by Eraserhead (Sat Feb 26 2011 05:22 AM)
_________________________
Don't hatch all of your eggs in the one basket 'til the chicken hits the fan.

Top
#606567 - Fri Mar 18 2011 11:33 PM Re: Farmer Fred
mountaingoat Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Fri Jun 22 2007
Posts: 390
Loc: Blue Mountains NSW Australia
A truck overturned near the farm and the poor sheep and the driver were spilled onto the road. The driver has a broken leg and arm. A police officer turns up and as he walks toward the driver he shoots some sheep to put them out of their misery. He says to the driver "How are you?" Looking at the shot sheep the driver says " Never better thanks."

Top

Moderator:  ozzz2002, Sypher