Reported in a Sydney paper many years ago when Bob Hawke was our Prime Minister at at trade negotiation in Japan. He said "We are not going to be silly buggers about this." The translator translated it as "We are not going to be humorous homosexuals about this."

In front of a church:

Come here, we will scare the hell out of you.

And another:

Salvation guaranteed, or sins cheerfully refunded.

And some in China:

The elevator

The Chinese translated properly:
In case of fire, please do not used the elevator

Actual warning:
If fired, please do not use the elevator

The Floor

Translated properly:
Be careful, the floor is slippery

Actual warning:
Caution, slip (h'm, if I have to slip to be cautious, then I won't be cautious.)

When the underdogs Caledonian Thistle beat the massive odds on favourites Celtic in a national cup final due to their celebrations the newspaper headlines read ~

"Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious."

Lol, that rhymes perfectly with supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

A friend swears that when in Ireland he saw a sign that said "Do not remove this sign." Nothing else was on it.

NEWSPAPER HEADLINE


SISTER SAVED FROM CERTAIN DROWNING BY BROTHER WHO USED HEIMLICH MANOUVRE - "I SAW IT BEING DONE ON TELEVISION HE SAID then added "BUT AS SHE HAS BEEN A REAL PAIN THIS WEEK I WOULD NOT DO IT AGAIN"

Certainly you must have heard of the funniest headline of all time, from the Enquirer or some other tabloid: Headless Body in Topless Bar

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I heard today on the radio that a woman here had complained about a sign on an airport shuttle that tells you the driver's name. Apparently she didn't realize that the driver, who was a recent immigrant, had a name that was not the usual Adam, Michael or Daniel that she was used to.

The sign read...

I found these in a miniature village in Tasmania:

"Prostitutes appeal to local council"

"Children make nutritious snacks"

"Local steals clock, faces time"

"Police raid phramacy, find drugs"

"Students cook and serve grandparents".....

I got tickled at this recently:

"Woman arrested sending a message to a jail wrapped in an enchilada."

It wasn't a headline, but was a sentence in the story.