I don't know if Dionne Warwick has found the answer to this question, but I'd walk along the road, get the 45 bus into Glasgow city centre, up to Buchanan bus station, get the 905 to Glasgow Airport and get a plane to San Jose International via Los Angeles. As the airport is only 3 miles away from San Jose itself, I think I could stretch to a Taxi for the remainder of my journey.

Does anyone know what time the last train to Clarksville leaves?

No, but you can be there by 4:30. Little silly trivia to go along with this. The Clarksville in question is Clarksville, Tennessee. It is right next to Ft. Campbell, Kentucky where many a service man goes when they enlist or were drafted in the army.

I'm from the general area of San Jose so for us, it's a joke as we used to say, "why would anyone want to go there?" Now it's quite.."gentrified" with the Silicon Valley stuff I hear. Well, we'd probably want to go there because Sacramento is boring.
Or to see the Winchester Mystery house whose billboards used to plaster the California countryside for hundreds of miles.

But I'm still wondering if by the time I get to Phoenix, he'll be rising? He better be up by that time!

Well with today's high speed transport links, surely we're all at most 24 hours from Tulsa as well!

I've tried my damndest to get train times relating to Clarksville, but to no avail. How bored was I last night?

Yes, but is the Wichita Lineman still on the line at this hour ? No wonder my phone doesn't work !!!!

By the way, has anyone seen Amarillo by Morning ?

No Malizma, cause...(here you go Linda from there) "nothin' could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morrrrrrrning!"

Hey, they didn't say anything about South or North Carolina. The only way I used to recall the difference was "Pedro's South of the Border", a massive roadstop extravaganza with restaurant, rides, tourist stuff etc, massive sombrero elevator or something, and for miles and miles up that road they'd put up a sign..."Hungry?" then you'd go a mile..."We've got food at Pedro's South of the Border".
"Need a shave?" "We've got shaving cream, just stop in."
"Just married?"....."Try our honeymoon suite!"
By the time you get towards the exit, your hands are turning the steering wheel and you have to see what the thing looks like! It's like a magnetic force unknown to nature.
It's like the Nut Tree and Winchester's Mystery House in California.
OK ok I just told you all that silly story to make SuperFurry feel better, because, you were looking up the train schedules to Clarksville? I've heard of trainspotteres and anoraks before but this takes the cake!

I'm working on a sort of travel schedule around the world with the aid of famous pop songs. I'm currently stranded in San Jose for want of a simple train schedule! Pathetic times two!

Gosh, I hate it when that happens, SupperFurry Animal. It's so darn hard to "Get your Kicks on Route 66" when you can't even catch the "Last Train Home" to find out that "Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone" to "Gary, Indiana."