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#956119 - Tue Dec 18 2012 09:21 AM Christmas --- Dept of Health & Safety Guidelines
sue943 Offline

Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 37439
Loc: Jersey
Channel Islands    
All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Seasons greetings to you all!
Many a child has been spoiled because you can't spank a Grandma!

#1028087 - Mon Dec 30 2013 05:30 PM Re: Christmas --- Dept of Health & Safety Guidelines
MadameGuvnor Offline

Registered: Sun Dec 29 2013
Posts: 18
That is brilliant!
You need a crazy mind just to stay alive.

#1028091 - Mon Dec 30 2013 07:19 PM Re: Christmas --- Dept of Health & Safety Guidelines
postcards2go Offline

Registered: Thu Nov 20 2008
Posts: 1234
Loc: New York City USA
Isn't it, just smile
~~ postie

#1028262 - Wed Jan 01 2014 02:48 AM Re: Christmas --- Dept of Health & Safety Guidelines
Tizzabelle Offline

Registered: Sun Jan 17 2010
Posts: 2507
Loc: Sydney NSW Australia         
I'm saving that, printing it out before Xmas this year, and putting it on the wall at work. wink
A platypus lays eggs and produces milk - it can make its own custard wink


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