Wow astrix..Thank you for sharing your amazing life and your story!

I being reared in California all my life and basically living a free life have never had to hide who I am..what I believe..or fear for that. I forget that not all others have experienced that same freedom.

I was a very abused child..but at the hands of my own famiy. So it was easy for others not to know. I did not have to fear persecution. My heart goes out to you. Your experience and your families experience is some thing sooo distant from my own world.

I sit here is awe and stunned silence actually...Not really knowing what to say..Nor how to respond. All I know is that I have tears in my eyes. How blind we can be..Not really understanding that other realities exist for other people. Even here at FT. I forget sometimes that we all do not live in the United States and that our worlds are different.

Thank you again for sharing..What a wake up call !!!

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Sandalwood's Cosmic Creations: Working with the magic of love....

Bringing this up for ethel to read

Thanks, JoJo, for bringing this up. That was a lot of reading to do to get caught-up. Now I understand about your past difficulties and it sounds like you have been getting it together by leaps and bounds (and with the help of a truly wonderful friend in Sandalwood).

It was nice to read all the postings here. It just reinforces my opinion that there are some very wise and lovely people here at FT. I hope everyone continues to hang together and not let the spoilers ruin it.

Bringing this up

Good idea. Thank you Clara.

Bringing this up, in case anyone should like to share their experiences or thoughts with the support group. Please know that we are always here for each and everyone of you.

I haven't read all of this yet, just the first page, but i wanted to post this.

One of my good girl friends was recently (a couple of months) raped. She hasn't gotten over it, and still has trouble even talking to guys, even some of those who used to be close friends. Anyway, we were at another girlfriends b-day party, and we were playing truth or dare. She was cheered up, and we had mostly forgotten. She picked truth, and the question was "Are you a virgin?" She burst in tears, and ran from the room. I want to kniow what to do next time this comes up. What should i do?? IS she still a virigin? I don't know what to do.

Physically she can no longer be a virgin for obvious reasons but that doesn't stop her being 'pure'.

Someone very close to me was raped a few years ago, she is recovering although I doubt that she will find it easy to trust men in the future. She now has a regular partner who is very caring and has partly restored her faith in the oppostie sex. I know that early in this relationship he couldn't understand why she was rejecting him physically and attempted, as many young men will, to speed up their physical relationship. She made it perfectly clear to him that it was her body and if he wouldn't respect her wish to wait then the relationship was over - once she explained what had happened to her he naturally made no further attempts to push himself on her, he allowed the relationship to progress at her speed.

Give your friend all the support that you can, has she had professional counselling? It can be most helpful.

Life will improve for her, she will find that not all males are swine, some, in fact most, are really wonderful and completely trustworthy.

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From over the pond....

Today, I finished reading the rest of this thread. I think it faboulas how you are all here for each other. I hink I have finally found a place where I can ake my problems. I never have had much of a place where I can take my problems, I've always kinda been that kinda of person that every one else takes there problems to. A couble years back, my mom was married to someone I didn't much care for. I sank into a deep depression. And the worst part was no one noticed or care. I thought about suicide, and even more seriously about running away. I almost did, too. My cousin, who also was goign through a bad time, was going to go with me. We had our bags packed, the note wrote, and the plans/maps drawn up. We decided to get a bit of sleep first, then head out about 2 am. We wer both going to take turns sleeping, so that we'd be sure to get up. I had the first sleep. Being a sibling of seven, and the only trusted baby sitter, as well as an insomnic, i normally sleep VERY lightly. But that night, I had a dream. I was standing a a fork in a road. There was a bright light and a dove in front of it. The dove spoke to me. i don't remember what it said, (and the only reaason I remeber the dream is because I wrote it down.) The next moring, around 9, I awoke, my cousin staring over me. I sat up and said, "I thought we were going to run away last night." "We were," she responded, "But you would not wake for anything. I shooke you, smacked you, took your pilliow, yelled at you, and even poured water on you face. You wouldn't wake up. I was scared."

I don't know what the dream meant, what the dove said, or why i wouldn't wake. But i do know that that night was a wake up call for me. After that, I fought my depression, with the help of one friend, and over came it. I never should of let it do that far. i should of gotten help. My friend should of gotten me help. If any of you are suffering for depression, GET HELP NOW!!! I don't know how or why the dove came to save me. ANd i shudder to think where i would be right now, if it had not. I probally ould be selling drugs or prosatuting some where. Or maybe dead to arrested. I thank God every day for that dove, and now i will pray that other GET HELP. I will also pray for the dove's return for those of you who don't follow my adviece.

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"When in doubt, duck. When absolutly certain, don't bother, cuz your already screwed." ~ Unknown

I don't belive I just posted that. I have never told anyone, except that friend, who doesn't even know thewhole story. I'm sorry for burdening you guys with this, and thank you for listening.

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"When in doubt, duck. When absolutly certain, don't bother, cuz your already screwed." ~ Unknown

Dear ReanaZ, we are here for every single one of our FunTrivia family members. Sometimes it's easier to talk to people online. I know I have shared a few things here that normally I wouldn't share with people. We have an extremely wonderful and caring group of people here. I wanted to think and do a little research before responding to you. I know that your love and support will help your friend a great deal. Talking openly about trauma is the most important part of healing for a victim of abuse and for the friends of the abused. When you are able to articulate the ugly details of any secret that caused you or others pain, then that "ton of rocks" (your secret) will be removed from your back. For those of you out there who haven't found a safe place to tell your story, please know that telling one's story is scary for everyone at first. Find and share your secret with someone you love and trust and who loves and trusts you. Seeking the support of a counselor is always a good idea.

Hi ReanaZ. Just wanted to echo what JoJo and sue943 wrote. Sometimes it helps to speak out (or type out in this case) about certain troubles on our minds. To find a connection, someone who understands and empathizes, knowing you are not alone in what has happened or how you feel, and that someone is listening to your story. I haven't got anything inspiring to say here, but just wanted to let you know I read about you and your friend (thank you for sharing your stories) and that here is another person, albeit far away and not in your day-to-day lives, but who nevertheless is on your side and rooting for you both.

Thanks you guys.

ReanaZ you could never be a burden!

Thanks for sharing your story with us.. I'm glad you've gotten your life back on track! Sorry to hear about your friend, I'm sure your support is very helpfull to her.

That kind of support is what we're all here for!

I'm a little bummed out right now, and I really didn't know where else to to put this.

As you may have seen in Season Tickets, I started a thread entitled The End of an Era. The final game to be played in 3 Rivers Stadium will be tomorrow. I've been doing a lot of thinking about that primarily because my father was a sports nut. My father was found in his apartment a couple years ago after not showing up for work. We think he may have passed on a day before he was found.

The week before he died, he and I had tickets to a Pirates Game right off the third base line. It was a fun night. He spent a part of the evening telling me what he would do when he worked as a security guard when I was a kid. He even brought me home a baseball that a Pirate poped into the seats during practice. I spent part of the night laughing at him... The folks who ran the huge screen over the field would run a clip of South Park, the cartoon. Dad had never seen South Park, so he couldn't understand how and why all these strangers at the same time could know when to say the famous line, "Oh My God! They killed Kenny! You B******s!" When I wasn't laughing, I was explaining it to him.

He and I went to another Baseball game at 3 Rivers a couple years earlier. We went with a group from work. He enjoyed the folks I worked with and they enjoyed him.

Even though I have tears in my eyes, I do feel better writing this. Sorry for the rambling.

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Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice.
Please Visit My WebPage

splatt, as I read your post I felt your pain and had tears in my eyes by the end. It didn't help that I was listening to "Sweet Old World" sung by Emmylou Harris.
But, what beautiful memories you have. Br grateful them.
If my father passed away tomorrow, the only sweet memories I would have would be from my childhood. I really don't do much with my dad anymore, but your post makes me think I should while I still can. Thankyou.

Dear Splatt, your story brought tears to my eyes as well. Reflecting back on good times spent with a departed love one can be both joyfull as well as painfull. I know I have said this before but I truly believe that keeping that person alive in your heart is a wonderful way of validating ones life. I can tell that you and your dad were very close and you'll always remain close to him thoughout your life. You will always cherish the love you each shared for each other because it is sewn into the fabric of your life.

Thank you for sharing your story Splatt. You've shown your father a great amount of respect by sharing your thoughts and love for him as well as reminding us to hold our love ones close to our hearts, whether they are here or gone.

That story about your father was beautiful. I have been fortantue to not have lost to many very close to me. My parents have been divorced since I was 4, but i still see my dad often, and though I'm am not as close to him as i like, I could not imange never seing him again. Keep remembering the good memories, and he will never be all gone.

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"When in doubt, duck. When absolutly certain, don't bother, cuz your already screwed." ~ Unknown

It is well established that the holiday season is a highly dangerous time for many people. The rate of sucide during the holidays increases greatly. This thread can be here to give people the outlet they need for letting out emotions that bind their souls and hearts.

I can truthfully say that this season has often been hard for me. I've mentioned before that I've suffered chronic chemical depression for years. In October I went to a doctor who prescribed a relatively new antidepressant - Effexor - which works on two neurotransmitters in the brain. The difference is absolutely amazing. I feel so "normal". I no longer get angry for the least little thing; my feelings aren't hurt by perceived slights; I am able to view life with a perspective I haven't had in many years; I'm not fixating on problems that I have nothing to do with and couldn't solve if I wanted to. I smile and laugh - a lot - again. I'm very content. Only someone who has been behind this black curtain can understand how thankful I am for this new medicine.

I wish all of you the most content of holiday seasons and hope that your life continues to be enjoyable in the new year and for the many to come.

What a goreous woman you are clara64, to be so thoughtful and caring. You bring up a very serious subject and I would like to thank you for reminding everyone that we are here for anyone who needs someone to talk to you. In fact, if the holiday season becomes too much to someone to bare and if you are all alone, and need to hear a voice of a friend, I am willing to give you my phone number. In any case, as clara said, we are here for you if you need us so please don't be afraid to share your feelings with us.

This is a good time to also bring up the subject of 'Seasonal Mood Changes'. If you are eating more carbohydrates, and feel moody, you may be experiencing "Seasonal Affective Disorder," or SAD. This is a form of depression caused by a lack of sunlight. Here are some common symptoms of SAD:

• Low energy levels
  
• A craving for carbohydrates (pasta, bread, potatoes, & heavy desserts)
  
• Problems getting up in the morning
  
• Being late for work
  
• Inability to get the children off to school on time
  
• Diminished sex drive
  
• Lack of clarity in thinking
  
• Slower response time in thinking
  
• Experiencing the "blahs"
  
• Worsening PMS symptoms
  
• Experiencing various aches & pains from unknown causes: headaches, backaches, muscle aches
  
• Undergoing sleep difficulties
  
• Worsening symptoms of fibromyostis during the winter months, if you're unlucky enough to suffer from this condition
  
• Instinctually seeking light: all lights are turned on in one's house, tend to shop at night in brightly lit stores, etc.

Treatment For SAD Wondering how to get rid of winter blues once and for all? Do so by basking in the sun or indulging in light therapy.

Most people instinctually know that they feel better during the summer months, so they unconsciously seek out light in winter months. Some sit in front of their plant lights, some wander into supermarkets at night, while others seek out the photocopying room. People with SAD often turn all the lights on in the house. They know that seeking light will help alleviate their symptoms, and avoiding the light will make them worsen. Some people vacation in the winter in sunny and warm spots and feel recharged when they come home.

Of course if the problem of depession is more severe please see a doctor as soon as you possible can like Clara did. Clara, you are a true inspiration. I admire your courage and strength. Chronic chemical depression can be tragic in one's life and I am happy to hear that you sought out a good doctor who was able to prescribe a good antidepressant to help you. It's is truly wonderful to know that you are able to view life with a perspective and are content enough to smile and laugh again. Thank you for sharing and I wish you and and all our good friends here a happy holiday season.

Ok, this really doesn't have much to do with support, but somethimes we can all use a good laugh...

I made myself a snowball,
As perfect as could be,
I thought I'd keep it as a pet,
And let it sleep with me.
I made is some pajamas,
And a pillow for it's head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first--- It wet the bed.

Isn't that cute? I got it as an e-mail. Oh, by the way, it is scientifically proven that laughing helps prevent heart diease, exspecially in situation where one normally would not laugh. It not only relieves tension, but releases a chemical that... well I COULD go in to a LONG scientific explaination, but I won't. I;l; just say it helps.

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"When in doubt, duck. When absolutly certain, don't bother, cuz your already screwed." ~ Unknown

A friend of mine's grandfather just died of cancer. (I was on chaat with her when her cellphone rang. It was her cousin, relying the nes.) She then left. I talked to her for a breif moment, and she stated that she felt in a state of shock. I'm going to invite her here, but i don't know if she'll come. If she does, pleassse amke her feel welcome, though I don't think that would be a problem, you guys made me feel so welcome I spilled me deepest sercet out to you the second day I was here. And from what I've read, you all pour out so much love toward each other and me, that its almost like a family on a computer. Thanks.

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"When in doubt, duck. When absolutly certain, don't bother, cuz your already screwed." ~ Unknown

Hi, this is my first time posting on this board. My friend ReanaZ told me to come here and join. My grandad died this morning from cancer, I'm still in shock and a bit emotional, I was actualy chatting to ReanaZ when my cousin rang me and told me what had happend. I'm not as upset as I thought I would be, i had known for a few months he was going to die. What I'm finding really hard to cope with is that I didn't get to say goodbye to him, he was i a hospice and I had last visted him on thursday but i decided that i wouldn't visit him yesterday but that I'd vistit him today instead, but he died at 12:50am so I never actually got to go in an say goodbye. Also we never got to give him his christmas present, we were waiting until christmas day to give it to him, now i wish we had just brought it in to him. Sorry if I'm boring you all.

Hi Ashes, don't think for one moment that you are boring people.

I am really sorry to hear about the death of your grandfather, death of a loved one is sad at any time but at this time of year it seems to so much harder to bear. Do try to talk about your feelings to the rest of your family, they are probably feeling much the same as yourself - 'talking it out' can be very beneficial.

You have had time to accept that he would be dying shortly, if he was in pain it will no doubt be a relief to you that he is no longer suffering - deep grief might not be natural in these circumstances, sadness yes.

I can imagine that you are thinking 'if only...' at this time, it is natural but try not to dwell on it, that will not change things and nothing can be gained by torturing yourself. Your grandfather will have known that you loved him. He is at peace now.

Take care, my thoughts are with you.

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From over the pond....