I just picked up some information today that I wanted to share with all of you. Having had a very special kitty die not too long ago, I understand the emotions that this can cause.

The following information comes from a pamphlet from the SPCA. I'm just picking out various parts of it to quote. If you'd like the full pamphlet, contact your local SPCA.

quote:

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Whether your pet dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, the end of that relationship can be devastating and one of the most difficult times of your life.

Feelings of grief over the loss of a pet are normal and natural. There is no right or wrong way to grieve for a lost friend and each person reacts in their own way. Grief may be brief or long-lasting and my manifest itself in many ways. Some people feel shock, anger, numbness, loneliness, and/or depression. Grief may also be expressed through sleeplessness, exhaustion, changes in appetite, or crying.

Friends, family members, and acquaintances may not understand the importance of your animal companion. They may say things like: "It's just an animal," or "Just go get another one." Your sorrow is valid. Don't feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed about your feelings.

Here are some guidelines for helping your child cope with the loss of their best friend:

Be honest with your children. Avoid making up stories to protect them.

Be honest about your feelings and let your child know it is normal to cry and feel sad.

Do not refer to euthanasia as "putting an animal to sleep." Your child may fear that if they fall asleep, they, too, might die.

Give your child an opportunity to say good-bye.

Talk as a family about your love for the pet and the loss and let your child know that nothing can take away treasured memories.

Let your child know that the pet's condition is no one's fault.

Saying good-bye and remembering your pet can help lesson the pain. Here are some dignified ways of acknowledging your special relationship:

Take a day off from work. If you need a reason, tell the truth: There's been a death in the family.

Write a eulogy, poem, or song about your pet. Red your writings at a memorial service.

Compile a scrapbook. This will help keep the memories alive.

Make a donation to a charity in your pet's name.

Bury your pet in a pet cemetary or, if you have your pet cremated, scatter the ashes in a special place.

Some good books to read:

Coping With the Loss of a Pet by Christina M. Lemieux

When Your Pet Dies: How to Cope With Your Feelings by Jamie Quackenbush and Denise Graveline

Joy in a Wolly Coat by Julie Adams Church

The Tenth Good Thing about Barney by Judith Viorst

Goodbye Max by Holly Keller

Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant

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[This message has been edited by Linda1 (edited 10-26-2000).]

Since one of the ways of dealing with the loss of a treasured member of the family like this is to talk about them and share memories of them, I wanted to now open this thread up to all of you.

Please share your experiences with us. What memories do you have of your pet? What special moments did you share? What do you remember most about this pet? Tell us about him or her.

Thank you for opening this very important topic. I know that most of us consider our pets to be one of the family and I am sure we all wonder what we should do at the time of their death. I will be back to share my experiences. For now, I just want you to know how much I appreciate the information you have provided for us.

Linda, thanks for the information. I had a dog, Samson,(Sammy) for 13 years. He was my 'baby'.He always slept with my ex and I, except when one of my kids was sick. I always knew they were coming down with something if the dog slept with them. He had a lot of psychic abilites,(I know, to some it sounds strange), but he even saved my life once. I still miss him after all this time.(He has been gone for 17 years now). We had him buried at our home, and until we moved, I would sometimes sit by his grave.I will have to say he was my best friend for a long time. I know it sounds a little crazy, but I'm sure those who have been close to their pets know what I mean. gammab

The biggest memory I have of one of my pets is not a good one.

My family had a beagle/wired-hair terrier mix named Travis. Travis lived to be 15 yrs old. My parents got him for me after my first dog, Hannibal, died.

We had to have Travis put down because his age really caught up with him -- difficulity walking, reliving himself everytime he moved to greet us when you would return home. My father and I took him to the vet to put him down. It was the only time I've ever seen my father cry. We both felt like rats afterwards.

To this day, even though I DO have a lot of good memories of Travis, this is the one that turns me into a crying baby every single time. I guess it's a sign of how much I loved him.

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Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice.

I had a special kitty who i called Jingles. She had a pink collar,and a bell that jingled.... Just hearin her name makes me cry... I always tell EVERYONE Jingles' life story (or the parts i like the most..)

It goes like this......

We had Just moved into Livingston, and my mommy promised me a kitten. We werent allowed to have pets, but i WAS 6, and cried like i was 2.
We went out the next day, and hunted down my kitten. We found her RIGHT AS she was going to be put to sleep. I BEGGED AND BEGGED for the cat, and the guy gave up. I got my black kitten.
We got home, and was going to name her Coal, but AGAIN, i whined, and got my way. (personally, Jingles is better than Coal, dont ya think!?)
It was November 4, 1994, 4 months after we got her, and she ran away. I HATED not having a cat,so we got one more...
His name was Sammy, and hes another story... (ill start a topic in the taven about ALL my cats.. heheh) Gone with sammy, up with casper (again another story...)
On my b-day, Jan 4th as i blew out the candels, i wished that Jingles would come home. I cried after that, and all my friends stood there, looking at me crying.
That night, Nicole and Danielle, my older sisters were playing Monopoly with me, (yah i was a smart 6 year old!! =P)and i heard jingle bells.I told Dan and Nic, they laughed, and told me i was hearing things.
I WAS a spoiled brat, so I told my Daddy, and he got a flashlight and went out in the FREEZING cold weather. He came back with a flashlight in one arm; Jingles in the other.

My wish came true, and what amazed me was that she came home on my birthday.

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People you meet come and go every day without a trace, but the ones you call your TRUE friends leave footsteps.