Like a Record, Baby Trivia Quiz

Answer: Paris Hilton

"Paris" was released by socialite and erstwhile celebrity Paris Hilton in 2006 on her own Hilton Records label (a sub-label of Warner Bros). Ms. Hilton's album reached number 6 on the US Billboard Hot 100 Album Chart and sold a respectable 200,000 records. A single from the album "Stars Are Blind" remarkably was a US Dance Chart number 1 song. Critics of the album were rather kind saying for the most part that, measured against the standards of her acting efforts, Paris was not horrible as an over-produced pop diva.

Ms. Hilton is well known for being a great-granddaughter of Conrad Hilton. Paris has tried her hand to more or less success as a television reality star in 2003-2005's "The Simple Life" and a string of bad movies. Paris starred in the 1008 movie "The Hottie and the Nottie", which earned her the Razzie award for worst actress of the year. Ms. Hilton's debut performance in an infamous 2001 sex tape was apparently better received by critics.

Paris Hilton is certainly not the only young actress to try her hand at music. Lindsay Lohan also recorded two albums, "Speak" in 2004 and "A Little More Personal (Raw)" in 2005. Neither album was a critical success but, both sold copies based on Lohan's fame. Jennifer Love Hewitt recorded four albums. She achieved no real success in the US, however her music is popular in Japan. Alyssa Milano, of "Whose The Boss" fame, also released four studio albums in the 1990s that were only available in Japan.

Answer: Party All The Time

In the 1980s everything Eddie Murphy did was a hit. Murphy was the breakout star of the second wave of great "Saturday Night Live" cast members. Murphy appeared on the show from 1980-1984. In 1982 Murphy starred in "48 Hrs" and in 1984 "Beverly Hills Cop". Murphy sold out stadiums with his stand up comedy and seemingly could do no wrong. Always fascinated by music, Murphy turned his efforts to an album released in 1986. The title song "Party All The Time" was released as a single. The song was co-written, produced and featured backing vocals from Rick James. "Party All The Time" rose as high as number 2 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart and was the seventh biggest seller for 1986.

While successful, "Party All The Time" has also been consistently voted by critics as one of the worst songs ever recorded. "Blender" magazine, for example, rated the song as the eighth worst ever in their 2004 list, Fifty Worst Songs Ever. "Boogie in Your Butt" was a Murphy song released to little success in 1982 as part of his "Eddie Murphy" comedy album. Both "Put Your Mouth On Me" and "Till The Money's Gone" were attempts to recapture the chart success of "Party All The Time" that also had little success and much critical distain.

Answer: Don Johnson

The 1980s seemed to demand that movie and television stars attempt to make a career in music. Don Johnson, the iconic Sonny Crockett from "Miami Vice", was no exception. Johnson's Crockett created a fashion trend by wearing colorful collarless shirts under an Armani jacket, white linen pants and a slight hint of facial stubble. "Miami Vice" was also known for its frequent tie-ins with popular music. The theme music written by Jan Hammer was a Billboard Hot 100 number one song. An album of songs featured in the show was number one on the US Billboard Top Album chart for 11 weeks and won two Grammy Awards in 1986.

"Miami Vice" catapulted Don Johnson to megastar status. However, Johnson followed his success on the small screen with poor choices on the big screen, including the 1991 bomb with Mickey Rourke "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man". 1996 saw a career resurgence for Johnson as he co-starred in the box office smash "Tin Cup" with Kevin Costner and started another long run on US television with "Nash Bridges". Johnson also used "Miami Vice" to launch his own music career. In 1986, he released the studio album "Heartbeat" which had mild success. The breakout hit from the album was the title song which rose to number five on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart. Critics were not so impressed, including "Heartbeat" on many lists of the worst songs ever recorded. Phillip Michael Hall, Johnson's "Miami Vice" co-star also tried to establish a music career, releasing an album in 1985 during the height of his popularity. The less said of Hall's album, the better it is for all concerned.

Answer: Bruce Willis

In 1987 people asked "Who is Bruno?" and "Where had he gone, that he was now returning?" The answer apparently was Bruce Willis. Fresh off his success on US television's "Moonlighting" and before his elevation to movie superstar with 1988's "Die Hard", Willis released a rather odd first musical album. "The Return of Bruno" featured Willis as Bruno Radolini, a legendary blues and R&B singer on the comeback trial.

The album had Willis crooning covers of blues songs in character as Radolini. A mockumentary film about the making of "The Return of Bruno" aired on HBO to accompany the album. Based solely on Willis' popularity, the album sold well enough to peak at number 14 on the Billboard Hot 200 Album chart.

A cover version of "Respect Yourself" a 1971 hit by the Staple Singers, was a number five hit for Willis as Bruno in 1987. Willis released two other albums that are, thankfully, both out of sight and mind.

Answer: Jam (Turn it Up)

Kim Khardasian had a music career - who knew? In 2011, Khardasian released a pop song called "Jam (Turn it Up)". The song was apparently so bad that despite the continued fascination that pop culture has with all things Khardasian it was not a hit. The best "Jam (Turn it Up) could do was to be listed as number 17 on something called the Billboard Under 100 Hot Singles chart. This chart lists songs that are not yet popular enough to be in the top 100 for any given week, but, might be someday. In the case of Ms. Khardasian and "Jam (Turn it Up)", Billboard was wrong. Critics of the song were savage, and the song made many lists of the song worst ever.

While "Please (Turn it Off)" and "Famous for Famous Sake" remain available titles should Ms. Khardashian desire to try another record, "I Touch Myself" is an actual hit record. The DiVinyls, an Australian 1980-90s pop band, took the salaciously titled "I Touch Myself" to an Australian number one and US number two hit on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart in 1990.

Answer: Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal really was a martial arts expert. Seagal achieved the rank of seventh level (dan) black belt in Aikido. Aikido is a Japanese martial art that teaches practitioners to redirect the energy and momentum created by an attacker against the opponent. Seagal owned and operated an Aikido dojo in Japan before moving to Hollywood in the early 1980s to work as a martial art coordinator in films. Seagal went in front of the camera as the star of 1987's "Above the Law". The film was an instant success. His second film was the 1988 thriller "Hard to Kill". There followed a string of successful movies (before an even longer series of straight to video classics) making Seagal a household word as an action star. Seagal's ego is legendary even in egomaniacal Hollywood. So, it no surprise that after tackling writing, producing, directing, gaining a tremendous amount of weight and joining the Jefferson Parish (Louisiana) Sheriff's Department, he turned to music.

Seagal recorded a not quite blues, not quite rock, not quite country, quite awful album called "Songs from the Crystal Cave" in 2004. Neither the album, nor any of its songs, were released in the US. Despite the lack of interest or critical praise for this first album, Seagal released a second album of original songs in 2006 called "Mojo Priest". Like his first album "Mojo Priest" met with indifference and is now largely forgotten.

Answer: Joaquin Phoenix

The scene was the David Letterman show on February 11 2009. Joaquin Phoenix, the star of numerous films including 2000's "Gladiator", 2007's "We Own the Night" and 2012's "The Master", was the guest. Phoenix was ostensibly being interviewed as part of the promotion for his then upcoming movie "Two Lovers". Instead, a disheveled and possible mind-altered Phoenix, mumbled and staggered through an explanation that he was retiring from acting and taking up a career as a rap singer. Phoenix eventually admitted that the stunt and his career change were part of a film project called "I'm Still Here", that he and friend Casey Affleck were creating. In the film, Phoenix does rap and it is stunningly bad.

Phoenix, however, is also known for starring as the great blues/country singer Johnny Cash in 2005's "Walk the Line" where Phoenix sings nine songs using his own voice. The reception to the movie was overwhelmingly positive. It is actually a credit to Phoenix, however, that he has not attempted to release any original music, perhaps recognizing that an actor singing well is not the same as a good singer.

Russell Crowe, before proving in 2012's "Les Miserables" that when singing he is a fine actor who shouldn't ever sing again, had several bands. Crowe's most well known band was the prophetically named "30 Odd Foot of Grunts". The Grunts cut four albums before slipping into oblivion. Mark Wahlberg, on the other hand, came to acting having been already a successful hip/hop artist. His group, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch had a number one Billboard Hot 100 Hit with "Good Vibrations" in 2001. Wahlberg was also nominated for a Grammy for Best Rap Solo in 1993 for his song "You Gotta Believe".

Answer: Kevin Bacon

Kevin Bacon has had one of the most amazing acting careers, appearing in over 50 movies, many of which were amongst the most successful and critically acclaimed of their time. A partial list of his filmography includes his first role in 1978's seminal comedy "Animal House", 1982's "Diner", 1992's "A Few Good Men" and 1995's "Apollo 13". Bacon's knack for garnering roles in so many high profile movies led to the creation of the trivia game "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon". The game's premise was that if you knew enough about movies all actors could be connected to a Kevin Bacon movie in less than six steps. Bacon himself used the notoriety to form a charity, SixDegrees.org.

Bacon, however, has not been quite as successful as a musician. Beginning in 1995, he and his older brother, Michael Bacon, released six albums as The Bacon Brothers. While the brothers are enthusiastic and seem to enjoy themselves, their albums have not caught on with either critics or the audience. Perhaps their most watched performance was when Michael Bacon was made over as part of the US television/reality show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", which included a performance by the brothers.

Answer: Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow won an Academy Award for portraying Viola de Lesseps in 1998's "Shakespeare in Love". She co-starred in the "Iron Man" franchise and is a successful model, spokesperson, producer, author and businesswoman. In 2000, she starred in "Duets", a movie about professional karaoke competitions. Paltrow sang a duet with musician Huey Lewis ("Cruisin'") and performed a solo cover of the Kim Carnes hit "Betty Davis Eyes". Both of these renditions were highly successful singles in Australia. In 2010, Paltrow again sang in a movie, this time for "Country Strong". Paltrow's single the titular "Country Strong" reached as high as number 30 on the Billboard Hot Country Songs. Despite a strong singing voice and mostly positive reviews of her songs, Paltrow continues to be derided and has been named to numerous worst singer lists.

In 2003, Paltrow married Chris Martin, the lead singer for the highly successful band Coldplay; they divorced in 2016. Undaunted by criticism, Ms. Paltrow continued to sing as a recurring guest star on US television's "Glee".

Paltrow is by no means the only wife of a successful singer to try her hand at recording. Actress, Zoey Deschanel was married for a time to "Death Cab for Cutie" lead singer Ben Gibbard and has released several albums under the band name "She and Him". Jada Pinkett Smith is the wife of Will Smith. Since 2002, Jada has had her own music project -- a heavy metal band named "Wicked Wisdom". Gwen Stefani is the lead singer of the band "No Doubt" but is also the longtime spouse of Gavin Rossdale of the band "Bush".

Answer: William Shatner

William Shatner's career spans almost six decades and includes success as a stage, screen, television, literary and, surprisingly, recording star. For most fans, Shatner will always be remembered as the star of the original "Star Trek" US television series. Shatner was Captain James Tiberius Kirk during the show's three season run in 1967-1969 and for the first seven "Star Trek" movies. Shatner's penchant for smirking and over acting became iconic parts of the "Star Trek" universe. Shatner also starred in the 1982-1986 US television show "T.J. Hooker" and then in 2004-2008 as Denny Crane in "Boston Legal". For good measure Shatner has written over 30 popular books.

Amongst Shatner's many performing endeavors were the release of six albums of music. The first and best known was the 1968 release called "The Transformed Man". Shatner's version of the Beatles "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" is pure camp gold. To this day, fans and critics alike cannot tell if the spoken word rendition of rock classics interspersed with Shakespearean dialogue was intentional camp or egotistic garbage. Another album by Shatner, 2004's "Has Been" received begrudgingly positive reviews.

Leonard Nimoy, also fancied himself a musician. Nimoy recorded six albums (one with Shatner) in the 1960s and 1970s. His style was just as campy as Shatner's and critics take turns debating which of the "Star Trek" stars was the worse singer. Scott Bakula was the star of the last "Star Trek" show, "Enterprise" and has an extensive musical theatre background. Patrick Stewart, Captain Picard of "Star Trek: Next Generation" fame has also recorded songs from various films and stage productions.