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Subject: GG is here now too

Posted by: guitargoddess
Date: Jun 15 10

I was thinking of starting a virtual blog here on the chat boards anyway, and now that the blog blogs are closing, thought I might as well. I like the options for formatting in the real blogs, but I find this 'virtual blog' format seems more chat friendly.

Anyway. Haven't got anything interesting to say yet! But anyone who wants to may chat amongst themselves here while I try to think of something interesting to say :)

124 replies. On page 4 of 7 pages. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

guitargoddess

Just feel like talking 'at' something about this.. feel free to read if wanted...

I read advice columns online pretty often (I have a fair amount of downtime at work) and this sort of thing comes up sometimes where wives or girlfriends or whoever write in to say that they are uncomfortable with their boyfriends hanging out with or having a close relationship with a female friend and often the advice given is that they should explain to their boyfriend that it makes them uncomfortable, etc. and that if he cares about his wife's/girlfriend's feelings he would respect them and not continue to see his female friend without his girlfriend being there too or something like that. Okay, that's all well and good - but what about the girl who's losing a friend? Yes I am talking about myself in this case, and about a friend of mine - an online 'penpal' actually I guess since he lives in the UK and I've never actually met him. And I guess we weren't JUST friends, as much being 'more than friends' could be accomplished from such a great distance with online chatting and e-mailing. So I get why things can't be the same since he started seeing someong in September, and even if we cut out all the flirty, more-than- just-friends stuff, it could be awkward trying to stick to strictly platonic conversations, even though we did have plenty of those. And I wouldn't want to slip and say or do something inappropriate and make him feel guilty when it wouldn't be his fault. And I don't even know if what I said at the beginning even applies; I have no idea if his girlfriend didn't want him talking to other girls (though awhile ago when he told me some of his friends had told him to get a proper girlfriend and I told him that I'd be sad if he found some other girl and had to stop talking to me, he said he wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't let him talk to other girls anyway...) or if he felt it wasn't right and decided himself not to talk to me anymore, or if no such decision was ever made and he simply hasn't been around on online chat, or if he just totally forgot about me all together! All I know is that I miss my friend... I totally get that he doesn't have as much time to sit around at his computer talking to me if he's spending evenings, nights, weekends with her but I find it hard to believe he's had NO time to himself to be on the internet since September. and I feel like, if he's purposely avoiding me because he's with someone else, then I understand that (not pleased about it, but I get it..) and he could at least have sent me an e-mail telling me so or something. Since he started seeing this girl, he signed in to IM once in October and talked to me for about 15 minutes, and told me about her and specifically said "I should still be around, probably not until next week though". Like I said, that was in October. At this point, I'd just like to know that he's still alive, you know? Online friendships are as real as in-person friendships. Sure, if you've just started talking to someone online and it's been a couple of weeks maybe the conversation isn't going anywhere and you simply stop talking to each other, but I talked to him nearly every day for years. I can find new people to talk to, sure, but I don't see how to just up and forget about a good friend like that. I haven't been just sitting here moping about it for four months, I'm just feeling rather sad about it this week. Not sure why...

Reply #61. Feb 03 11, 4:19 PM

daymare

As kind and friendly as you are, I suggest making a few new friends.

You can't change how other people feel.

Look out for you and your needs.

When you feel sad, don't permit yourself to do so for long. After all, aren't you worth the effort of showing you have a lot going for you? When I miss friends who have moved on, or passed away, I allocate a certain amount of time to "remember". Then I go do something (try a new recipe, start a new book, work on a project, etc.) just for me.

Come on, GG. The best is yet to be!

Reply #62. Feb 03 11, 4:48 PM

lesley153

Perhaps the sadness hit you just as you accepted that the friendship is as good as gone. And it is sad - but you can't change people's personality or courage, and you can't always know what's going on at his end.

Years ago, I made a forum friend of a married man. We chatted every day for years, and we're still in touch. His wife didn't mind, as long as all we did was chat! :)

Later, I made a forum friend of another married man, and we chatted regularly until he suddenly evaporated. He reappeared later to tell me that he had uninstalled his instant chat software, because his wife didn't like him talking to strange people on the internet. That's funny - she didn't mind him going to the pub every evening without her! That's assuming that he was telling the truth, and you can't always know that either.

The friendship that lasts a lifetime is are. Daymare's right - remember the chats when they pop into your head, and smile - and then get on with your life.

Reply #63. Feb 03 11, 6:45 PM

lesley153

*The friendship that lasts a lifetime is rare.
Need more sleep!

Reply #64. Feb 03 11, 6:47 PM

veronikkamarrz

I think I would be upset, too. The least he could do, is email an explanation. Even if it's the LAST you'll ever communicate, you'd know.

I really can't imagine the problem with the 'girlfriend' since you and she are not 'buds' or...Well, you know!

Good luck GG, I also have friends that I only talk to 'on-line'.

Reply #65. Feb 03 11, 8:17 PM

Jazmee27

"I think I would be upset, too. The least he could do, is email an explanation. Even if it's the LAST you'll ever communicate, you'd know."

I agree-but I also concur with other comments.

It'll get better

(((GG)))

Reply #66. Feb 04 11, 11:39 AM

lesley153

I'm starting to wonder if he's doing you a big favour, by stepping away. An online relationship is generally pretty safe, like having posters of Donny Osmond (who he? OK, Justin Bieber or a Jonas Bro) on your bedroom wall, but you can't spend your life with pixels and wall posters... can you?

Reply #67. Feb 04 11, 1:47 PM

lesley153

PS Disappearing without a word makes him pretty spineless, IMHO - sorry.

Reply #68. Feb 04 11, 1:48 PM

daymare

That's why I suggested making new friends.

Why wait, or contact, a "friend" who obviously doesn't understand the meaning of friendship.

There is a big world out there. Why waste any additional time?

GG is not his "safety net" for when he has time to contact her. She is a person who deserves to be treated well and with consideration.

Reply #69. Feb 04 11, 2:11 PM

guitargoddess

Thanks for the comments all :) I feel better today, I guess perhaps I thought of him for whatever reason and realized how long it's been since we'd last spoken and was thrown with how abruptly a long friendship had ended... I don't think it was his intention to be spineless or string me along with saying he'd still be around, maybe shortly after he said that he realized it'd be too hard, I don't know... but like you say, even if it's the last time we ever speak I'd appreciate knowing if he has no intentions of continuing or resuming the frienship, then I'm not just wondering. But another good point, about the "safety net"... I've been kind of assuming he will eventually get back to being online and talking to me. He's young, as far as I know this is first semi-serious girlfriend, I don't really see him being with her forever (who knows, though) - but what, then? In a couple of months we go back to the way things were, and then six months after that he meets someone else and we go through the whole thing again? And I guess I would be hesitant to try to meet/start seeing someone else if things were back to the way they were with him, and that's probably not the best thing, for me. As even if he decided he wanted me, we can't exactly be together, can we?

I guess that's a downside of the world 'shrinking' with the capabilities of the internet bringing people from all over the world together - except not really together!

Reply #70. Feb 04 11, 3:47 PM

guitargoddess

And I'm not young enough to have have Justin Bieber or the Jonas Bros on my bedroom walls! lol

Reply #71. Feb 04 11, 3:49 PM

daymare

David Cassidy?

Reply #72. Feb 04 11, 4:49 PM

guitargoddess

My Facebook album of food pictures has been updated, should anyone care to take a look :)

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=255115&id=502994550&l=9632e210c5

Reply #73. Feb 11 11, 4:06 PM

Lochalsh

That soup looks fantastic, GG! What's in it, or is that a closely guarded secret?

Reply #74. Feb 11 11, 6:17 PM

daymare

Yum!

Time for dinner.

Reply #75. Feb 11 11, 6:34 PM

guitargoddess

The potato soup? No secret, it's a recipe created by someone I 'know' on a recipe site :)

http://allrecipes.com/PersonalRecipe/62109489/Potato-Garlic-Soup/Detail.aspx?prop31=6

Though, I've made it three times now and the third time it was kind of disappointing.. I really can't work out what I may have done differently!

Reply #76. Feb 11 11, 8:41 PM

guitargoddess

Oh but I should add, in my picture of it, there is added green onion and bacon not called for in the recipe.

Reply #77. Feb 11 11, 8:42 PM

guitargoddess

And salt and pepper and a bit of crushed red pepper!

Reply #78. Feb 11 11, 8:45 PM

Lochalsh

I like the ingredients you added, GG. Thanks for the recipe!

I remember my mother's sopa de patatas (we didn't call it that, of course): she topped it off with a pat of real butter. :)

Reply #79. Feb 11 11, 10:00 PM

guitargoddess

Ah butter just makes everything delicious, doesn't it? :)

Reply #80. Feb 12 11, 10:18 AM

124 replies. On page 4 of 7 pages. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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