Subject: Spare the rod and spoil the child !
Posted by: s-m-w
Date: Oct 01 09
Are today’s children really so spoilt?
Obese, antisocial, self-centred, frightened to venture out to play and glued to computers and TV for hours on end filling their faces with empty calories.
Or...
Is this just another generalisation used by the media to fill their newspapers?
Or...
Are some parents just past caring or overwhelmed?
Posted by: s-m-w
Date: Oct 01 09
Are today’s children really so spoilt?
Obese, antisocial, self-centred, frightened to venture out to play and glued to computers and TV for hours on end filling their faces with empty calories.
Or...
Is this just another generalisation used by the media to fill their newspapers?
Or...
Are some parents just past caring or overwhelmed?
81 replies. On page 1 of 5 pages. 1 2 3 4 5
REDVIKING57 
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Yes,it is another 'generalisation' to fill rubbish newspapers. And other poor quality media. You could just as easily say all people over,say,50 are miserable old farts that spend their time complaining and criticising today's youth. Generalisations are just a smoke-screen from a media that is either incapable of doing a proper job - or just can't be bothered! Reply #1. Oct 01 09, 4:15 AM |
supersal1
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Pretty much a generalisation. However, I've notice that a lot of parents do tend to wrap their children in cotton wool. An acquaintance of mine described how she was screaming, crying and hysterical because her 5 year old had wandered off when she picked him up from school. She must have scared the poor little thing senseless when he was found five minutes later. Spoilt? Possibly. My kids have far more than I had as a child, but then I have far more than my parents did at a similar time in their lives. As a society, we are far better off now and I don't feel it's right to single out children as being spoilt. Reply #2. Oct 01 09, 4:30 AM |
dsimpy
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The demonisation of many children as problematic, ill-behaved, lazy or spoiled is the real problem. As the previous poster has fairly said, children (in general) in our developed societies (let's not forget poorer countries where this isn't the case) get more material things than we did, because we're more affluent generally. But the complexity of their lives and challenges is WAY greater. As the parent of five children I much prefer the relatively 'idyllic' childhood I had, the sense of freedom, and the joy of getting a shilling (shades of Backwoods Bob here - sorry!) to get to the 'pictures'. As to 'sparing the rod', there is something wrong in imagining that we role-model positively for our children by smacking them - rather than teaching them to behave well through example and teaching. Reply #3. Oct 01 09, 5:01 AM |
sherry75
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Was never smacked and apart from the odd tap on the hand,never smacked any of my children either - they have likewise grown up to be parents themselves and, on the whole, treat their children (my grandchildren the same)... The media does have a tendency to dwell on the negative aspects of childhood today, but we all know there are many, many children out there who do behave pretty much as we did. The only thing I do see today, which I personally feel amounts to child cruelty, is the obesity in children... a timebomb for future generations. Reply #4. Oct 01 09, 6:31 AM |
s-m-w
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“As to 'sparing the rod', there is something wrong in imagining that we role-model positively for our children by smacking them - rather than teaching them to behave well through example and teaching.” Thanks, and there in seems to be the problem, children around the world of different race and creeds are taught life skills by their parents. I would like to wager that not too many parents here are going to reveal or admit that they have badly behaved kids and they feel they are to blame. Not too many parents would stand up and face the fact that their child is one of the 27% of kids in the UK who are obese. Would also like to wager that not many would admit to their kids spending more time playing on computers than in the fresh air. There has to be many cases of children following the bigotry of their parents, be that violence in the home or radical political views and actions. The media has a lot to answer for, its hype and over generalisations is well known and documented, but, surely they must be allowed to report incidents of extremes such as people being hounded for many years until they feel forced into unthinkable actions, or the gang and yob culture which even in civilized countries still exists. My thoughts return to the images of a young girl with a bomb strapped to her body and wonder who taught her that that was “right”, or, mothers who hide bombs and guns in baby prams because of their cause. Yes, I do agree that...” by sparing the rod there is something wrong in imagining that we role-model positively for our children by smacking them - rather than teaching them to behave well through example and teaching.” But, who’s to say whose example is the correct one. No parent will hear that little “jimmy” is bad, or that little “jenny” is morbidly obese and may never reach 30, until it’s too late. Am just off to check what my kids are doing, perhaps that’s the thing to do. Thanks for reading. Reply #5. Oct 01 09, 6:57 AM |
Cymruambyth
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I agree that the depiction of present-day children in media, etc. is a generalization. Having said that, I'm going to place myself squarely in the over-50 group of old farts referred to by Sal, and say that I deplore the deterioration of manners and public behaviour I see in too many youngsters - teenage boys sitting on the bus while an elderly person or a pregnant woman stands; children throwing tantrums in the mall because mum won't buy them whatever it is they want; gaggles of prebuscent females shrieking at one another over cell phones in public places; the foul language used in public by both young males and females, just to cite a few examples. I don't blame the youngsters for this kind of behaviour, though. I blame their parents for not teaching them how to behave in public, and for not instilling even a modicum of self-respect in their children. Reply #6. Oct 01 09, 3:48 PM |
| supersal1
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Cym - as an over 50 old fart myself, I must point out that it was REDVIKING57 (hmm, does the 57 put him in old fartdom?) who made the reference. My 17 year old daughter is contemplating using public transport next term rather than take the college bus. She's sick of a group of boys who swear like troopers, hurl sexual abuse and think it's funny to wander up and down the bus farting (sorry, this is getting to be a theme in this thread) in people's faces. As usual, it's a small minority of people who are making life miserable for the majority. Reply #7. Oct 01 09, 4:37 PM |
Anton
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Boys will be boys supersal1. Why are people still shocked over how boys act? Reply #8. Oct 01 09, 5:22 PM |
| Cymruambyth
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Anton, that's a lame argument! I'm not shocked by examples of rudeness and outright jerk behaviour, I'm annoyed! There's no excuse for bad manners. Perhaps we should institute ROC for behaviour in public. Reply #9. Oct 01 09, 5:36 PM |
| Cymruambyth
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Sorry about ascribing REDVIKING's comment to you, Sal. One of the side effects of reaching one's eighth decade is shortness of memory! Reply #10. Oct 01 09, 5:38 PM |
| honeybee4
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There is definitely a breakdown in parenting over the last thirty years. I would think that it has something to do with both parents having to work .I am sure there are more well behaved kids, but I am shocked at the behavoir of a lot of kids these days from tots to teens. Reply #11. Oct 01 09, 5:48 PM |
tezza1551
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I think that as in every generation, there are young people doing amazing things out there, just as there are rude and inconsiderate brats. I was lucky enough last weekend to meet some members of a Leo Club who are deeply involved in their community, working on projects that benefit not only their own age group, but seniors, kids with disabilities etc. In my opinion, the reason the problem kids get more media time is that the media would rather report the sensational than the good in the young community. The world is different to when we were young, not necessarily better or worse. Reply #12. Oct 01 09, 6:02 PM |
dj168
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I think the majority of the blame should be on the parents since the parents shape the kid. But also divorces are to blame as well since more parents are getting divorced and that is really bad for the kid. A lot more of my classmates have divorced parents. Err I also think though the media and the TV/music influence a lot of teens though. Lol spanking didnt do any harm to me. I don't see anything wrong with spanking once in a while to teach a lesson. Reply #13. Oct 01 09, 6:16 PM |
| Anton
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"Anton, that's a lame argument!" Hmmm, what you call lame, I call the truth. Reply #14. Oct 01 09, 6:41 PM |
daver852
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The NEA, the ACLU, and a generation filled with too many psychologists and counselors needing a steady stream of "clients" to justify their jobs. Anyone who doesn't think spanking helps kids learn how to behave either has a very poor memory or was never spanked themselves. Reply #15. Oct 01 09, 6:59 PM |
| Deunan
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Unfortunately, when "boys" are permitted to "be boys", without being taught respect and about the rights of others, they grow up and remain boys and never become men. Never been spanked but was held accountable for my actions. It is a shame many are just allowed to run free without any type of penalty for inappropriate behavior. Reply #16. Oct 01 09, 7:12 PM |
| Cymruambyth
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daver, I'm one of the 'never spanked', I guess my parents felt there were better ways to handle my occasional lapses and didn't need to resort to physical abuse. However, like Deunan, I grew up knowing that I was responsible for my actions. My husband and I never spanked our children, either, but they knew when they had crossed the line and that there were consequences for inappropriate behaviour. When they acted up, we let them determine what their punishment would be - and they were usually a lot tougher on themselves than we would have been. Reply #17. Oct 01 09, 10:27 PM |
| supersal1
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Anton, I've heard the 'boys will be boys' bit so many times. It's probably true for a minority, but adults should be adults and make sure there is some sort of consequence for their behaviour (dumping them off the bus and letting them walk home springs to mind). Daver, I've never spanked. The only time I've been tempted is when I've felt fairly murderous, and that's not a good idea. I just couldn't administer a cold-blooded spanking. Reply #18. Oct 02 09, 1:17 AM |
| REDVIKING57
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Sal,the '57' refers to the year rather than age - so,yes,I have well and truly entered the 'kingdom of old fartdom'! LOL! (Sorry if it gave any offence,it wasn't intended). As to the 'boys will be boys' debate,I find 'young ladies' equally as bad nowadays. But I also find the media prefers to focus on the negatives of young people,rather than any positives. But that seems to be modern 'journalism'. Reply #19. Oct 02 09, 4:04 AM |
| supersal1
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No offence taken. All the best people were born in 1957! I agree, the media focus on the negative rather than the positive. I've been particularly irked by the negative aspect of the press when it comes to exam results. It's rather dispiriting for youngsters to be told they're thick when they've worked their socks off to achieve good grades. The parents of the boys involved in the following story probably thought their boys were just being boys http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/mother-killed-herself-and-daughter-in-car-fire-1789423.html Perhaps if the parents had grounded them when they first became aware of their offspring's anti-social behaviour things wouldn't have escelated to such an extent. Reply #20. Oct 02 09, 4:46 AM |
81 replies. On page 1 of 5 pages. 1 2 3 4 5
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