Special Sub-Topic: 'Simpsons' (Grampa) Quotes Click Here To Play: 'Simpsons' (Grampa) Quotes

"I'm an old man. I hate everything but ______. Oooh! It's on now."

Matlock. Grampa: "I'm an old man. I hate everything but 'Matlock'. Oooh! It's on now." A typical Grampa line.

“Well, whenever I’m confused, I just check my ______ . It holds the answers to all the important questions.”

underwear. Grampa: “Well, whenever I’m confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answers to all the important questions.” Everyday advice from Grampa.

"Dear Mr. President, There are too many ____ nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot."

states. Grampa:"Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot." Grampa's character being used to mock the elderly in a humorous way.

"He used to be smart as a ____, but now ... he's dumb as a monkey."

chimp. Grampa: "He used to be smart as a chimp, but now ... he's dumb as a monkey." Grampa talking about Homer in the episode where Lisa thinks she's going stupid because of the Simpson gene.

"I always get the blame around here! Who threw a ____ at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?"

cane. Grampa: "I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?" Grampa's response after Marge and Homer accuse him of doing something wrong.

"Well, most of it. I did wear ______ for a period in the forties. Oh, they had designers then! "

a dress. Bart: "Is that story true, Grampa?" Grampa: "Well, most of it. I did wear a dress for a period in the forties. Oh, they had designers then!" An interesting conversation between Grampa and Bart after Grampa tells him a story.

“I’m an Elk, a Mason, a _____ … I’m also president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason ..."

Communist. Grampa: “I’m an Elk, a Mason, a Communist … I’m also president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason ..." From the episode where Homer is trying to become a Stone Cutter.

"You’re a gutsy daredevil with a give-‘em-hell attitude and a _____ education. You coulda made Sergeant."

fourth grade. Bart: "Hey, Grampa, do you think I could’ve been a Flying Hellfish?" Grampa: "You’re a gutsy daredevil with a give-‘em-hell attitude and a fourth-grade education. You coulda made Sergeant." From the episode where Mr. Burns steals the Flying Hellfish treasure.

"Now my story begins in 19-______-two."

dickety. Grampa: “Now my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say ‘dickety’ cause the Kaiser had stolen our word ‘twenty’. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles.” One of Grampa's outlandish yet hillarious stories.

"Ehhh, welcome to my ____ ."

world. Lisa: "Bart, do you realise what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die!" Grampa: "Ehhh, welcome to my world." From the episode where grounds keeper Willie trys to kill Bart and Lisa in their dreams.