Special Sub-Topic: "The Many Months of Burgundy", a DVD Extra #1
|Page 1, General Information: What is Ron's middle name?|
Beverly. On the same page, Ron claims he is allergic to bad scotch and off-the-rack suits and that Mac Davis (whose phone number is Hollywood) is his emergency contact because he is a big fan. When it asks if he is a donor it simply says "Hell no". His address is 3248 Clipper Ave. and his phone number is Denhart-390. Dr. Benton is his physician, but he doesn't have his phone number. Ron also does not have insurance. In the corner, he has a personal logo:
|Page 2, Blank Page: Who does Ron want to call about "the boots"?|
Roy Scheider. He spells the "Jaws" star's name wrong. The page also has drawings of an eagle (in orange crayon) and his foot kicking Wes Mantooth's head, a note to buy an $875 mustache trimmer instead of sending $900 to his mom, an idea for a story about what's under nuns' robes, possible name changes (Gen. Burgundy, Dr. Burgundy, Capt. Burgundy), a reminder to get tickets to Tahoe, and a "non-urgent" medical reminder about his heart. Also, in brown crayon:
|Page 3, January: Ron wants to try something that he saw someone do on TV. What is it?|
Crush a tennis ball in his palm. The page also has a crayon drawing of a gun firing, appointments for a seven hour-long hair appointment and (maybe) the purchase of a monkey from Keith in Long Beach (could be a hoot), as well as reminders to dominate the local news market and look up the skirt of the cute Asian lady at the DMV.
|Page 4, January: Ron wants to shave his chest hairs into the shape of a dog.|
False. He wants to shave his chest hairs into the shape of a battleship. He also wants to call several ladies: Charlene, who wears fishnets and has a lisp (808-555-1212), Donna at the gun range (808-555-1212), and Lita at the Taco Shack (No phone). Apparently, he either has trouble remembering different numbers, is dating roommates, or met a woman with two different personalities. He also has drawings of a spiral and a cube.
|Page 5, February: What does Ron NOT want to learn about?|
Marilyn Monroe. He hopes to learn more about drinking from Champ Kind. He also wants to learn karate for fighting reasons. He also has a doodle of a savage cat that he wants to show Ed Harken and find out if he can get a gallery showing for it.
|Page 6, February: Ron has a drawing of a San Diego Chargers helmet.|
False. The drawing is of a Rams helmet. He also has a drawing of a gun (Burgundy shoots from the hip!), phone numbers for Richard Crenna and "Adrian Barbou" (212-555-1212 and 323-555-1212), and reminders that the Romance Theater on 8th St. is a porno theater and "Penny's Playthings" is worth a second look. Ron also wonders if he owns enough mock T's.
|Page 7, March: What does Ron NOT consider a possible name change?|
Senator Burgundy. Other options are Sgt. Burgundy, Lord Burgundy, and Mayor Burgundy. Appointments include an 11-hour long hair appointment, vocal coaching at 6 AM, a tuxedo-fitting for Baxter at 2:30, and a doctor visit for "rash on privates". A rocket lift-off is drawn in crayon on the bottom of the page.
|Page 8, March: Ron has a Post-It reminding himself to tell someone they have no talent. Who is it?|
Tommy Brokaw. Ron also has thoughts on whether or not he could be governor, president, or owner of a nudey mag. He claims that he wants to have sex on a submarine and do a story on ninjas. There are crayon renditions of a lightning bolt, a dollar sign, and what is either a basketball or an eyeball.
|Page 10, April: Who keeps calling Ron about a story?|
Deep Throat. The page also has a message about Evel Kneivel's accountant and a note about the meaning of "hola". Ron has drawings of a shamrock, his arm (after he buys weights), CHANNEL FOUR, and a new nickname: Mr. Emmy. April's first page has reminders for swimming with dolphins, a doctor's appointment for a dolphin bite, and a second appointment to get his left toe removed because of oceanic infection. He also wants to buy a "new fangled jogging suit" and get a helmet for Brick because he keeps hitting his head. He ponders whether or not it's time to buy a falcon. He decides no.
|Page 11, May: What is Ron's sign?|
Scorpio. Apparently it's a typical Scorpio trait to have bad oysters, get sick and wreck your car, then get more oysters, eat them and get sick again. There's a note claiming that the sun is playing tricks on him, and a reminder to stop crying. He also wants to set aside a day to reflect and write poetry.
|Page 12, May: What is the happiest moment of Ron's life?|
Doing a cannonball. He has a Polaroid of himself doing this very thing. There's a reminder from Officer Gently(808-555-1212) for Ron to pay off his DUIs or he'll do six months in County(Ron has written "Yeah right!). He believes that Cher has her act together better than anyone in the world. He also wants to learn to play the lute.
|Page 13, June: Does Ron know the definition of escrow?|
No. "What the hell is escrow?" Ron has a drawing of a man parachuting and a Polaroid of himself standing outside the Channel 4 News Van(Damn! I look fantastic!). Apparently someone named Mr. Danton is going to cut his head off if Ron goes near his daughter again. He intends to straighten out the issue.
|Page 14, June: What is killing Wes Mantooth in Ron's drawing?|
A dragon. Mantooth is engulfed in flames. Ron also has a reminder to thank Garth for the homemade yogurt, and a marriage thought: "Adrian Barbou Burgundy".
|Page 15, July: Which of these alternative sign-off lines does Ron believe is too ominous?|
"You stay classy San Diego...or else.". The "burn in hell" line is considered too harsh and the others are not on the page. Ron has an all-night Stratego tournament with the News Team on Wednesday, another doctor appointment for his dolphin bite on Thursday, and a sleepover at the hair salon from Saturday to Monday at 2 PM.
|Page 16, July: Who gave Ron a cocktail napkin with a lipprint on it?|
Champ Kind. The napkin covers two notes, giving them the appearance of "If be fired!" and "I WOOD?". Ron has a reminder that Bob MacaDoo is at the San Diego Marriot, room 493, an inquiry on whether or not he can say "sugar rump" on the air, and the question "Who is Ted Kennedy and why won't he stop calling?".
|Page 17, August: What does Brick like, according to his Post-It?|
Owls. The note also says that Brick had someone else write it for him. Ron wants to start using the phrase "keep on truckin'" in casual conversation, found out what the thing is on his couch, and get the ham out of his car. He has ROCK N' ROLL written in brown crayon at the top of the page.
|Page 18, August: Who is it important for Ron to call?|
Ted Braster. Braster's number is 808-555-1212 and he is the guy inside the San Diego Chicken suit. Ron also has Anwar Sadat's phone number: 0113-5772-71. His newest idea for a segment is "Ron About Town": where he gets free meals and meets young ladies(Harken nixed the idea).
|Page 19, September: What time does Ron plan to make sweet, sweet love?|
2 PM. His latest drawing is of a shark. He has a court appointment with Officer Gently for a DUI that he plans to blow off. He wants to find out if Baxter can get a passport and whether he's rich or just well off. He also intends to tell Garth to lay off with the gifts. On the second page, he has plumber Tom Severbaum's phone number(808-555-then, most likely, 1212). Random writings include "A Chooga-chooga-chooga!", "Jimmy Conn", and 110%. He also has a Polaroid of himself kissing Veronica Corningstone(The Savage Beast is tamed). The photo covers up several messages so that they read "Don't eve", 32, "Ni", and "Fu".
|Page 21, October: Whose name is NOT written on this page?|
Ron. He plans to have tea with Baxter at 11 AM, take Brian down a notch to remind him who the big dog is, and testify as a character witness for Chris Harken(Ed's unbelievably rebelious son, played by "Dodgeball"'s Justin Long in "Wake-Up Ron Burgundy"). He also wants to start smoking more(because he's been slacking) and find out who the guy is who powders his nipples(because he's not sure he works for Channel 4). Plus, he has an appointment with the heart doctor sometime next month(who cares?). On page 2, there's a strip of pictures of Brick and one of the kodiak bears. The photos cover up words so that they look like "St", "Go", 7-246-792, Chawpy(?), "I sho ing my hair w . It might make a e longrun.", and "Can los j 1!". The page also has a coffee cup stain on it.
|Page 23, November: Ron has three different kinds of kites drawn at the top of the page.|
False. He only has two kinds of kites: regular and box. At 2:30 Ron wants to buy white socks, at 4:45 the beef brisket special at Lancer's kicks in, and he plans to drink at 11:31 PM. He also intends to help Brick find his apartment and he wonders why the guy at the store keeps patting him on the rear.
|Page 24, November: What is the name of the nurse who treated Ron's fondue burns?|
Teri. Her number is 808-555-371. Baxter Burgundy is written at the top of the page. There is a seperate note taped to the page with an idea for a story: "Why don't restaurants serve apples anymore?". The note covers more thoughts so that they appear "Chris 34", "Wh It it", and "Mu in the 40 yard dash.".
|Page 25, December: What state does Ron intend to take time to appreciate?|
North Dakota. Apparently "they're working their a@#$% off down there.". At 7 AM Ron wakes up to go to the bathroom and smoke, then goes back to sleep. At 1 PM he wakes up for real. At 3:30 PM he takes an hour nap. He wonders if "Como esta?" is French or jive talk(because as we all know, he doesn't speak Spanish). His plans include eating more bacon and buying a flare gun(You never know.).
|Page 26, December: What is Ron's newest idea for a news segment called?|
"The Truth-erator". A specially made card entitled "Ron's Naughty List!" is taped to the top of the page. His monthly thoughts are that it might be time to get a hanging wicker chair, and that 9 centimeters sounds bigger than 5 inches.
|Pages 27-28, Notes: What is NOT one of Ron's story ideas?|
"What's the final verdict? Are vampires real or not?". Other ideas are "Rabbits: Pet or Food?", "How about a fund-raiser for Reggie Jackson?", himself(maybe), and "Why are gravy fries so delicious?(A 3 part series). The vampire one is a real idea, except it's wolfmen instead.
|Pages 29-30, Notes: Does Ron mind seeing a lady dressed like an Egyptian?|
Yes. Never! He also has ideas for shaking up the broadcasts: an occasional singer, eating on the air, doing half the broadcast on CB Radio, and no more bad stories about America(we're America for cripes sake).
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