Punny Geology

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  

1. What did I yell after dropping a rather large crystal right smack on my foot? Amphibole! Garnet! Dolomite! Diopside!

2. Out in the field, one geologist managed to wander a little too far away from the group. After wandering aimlessly for several hours, hopelessly lost, running out of water, he found himself at the bottom of a canyon carved out of a certain foliated metamorphic rock. What did he realize then? Rocks were just limestone around Carbonate all his food He was lost by basalt He was in deep schist

3. Well, about this field trip, one student had been wanting really badly to go, but couldn't "mafic." Why not? He had "plagioclase"d a paper "Olivine" got him Because he "felsic" It didn't a "pyroxene" likely

4. Why don't people trust the sheet rock manufacturer? He doesn't "calcite" his sources He "quartz" it with toxic chemicals He always "gypsum" He's too "dolomite"-y for them

5. So, like, this guy had, like, this HUGE crush on this one girl. So then he, like, asked her out on a date. But, you know, he like, wasn't sure she could make it, because she was like, "Well, I like you, sort of, I don't know, maybe I'll go." So what did the, like, guy ask her when he, like, called her up? Forsterite? Cummingtonite? Chlorite? Anorthite?

6. In a "Rocks for Jocks" class, one of the so-called jocks, not familiar with rocks, filled in every single answer choice on a test with the name of the same silicate rock. Of course, when the tests came back, he'd gotten all but one of the answers wrong. But, he learned a valuable lesson from the experience. What was it? Don't take everything for granite He was gabbro at straws Andesite everything He was a sandstone-er

7. In this same "Rocks for Jocks" class, there was a cheerleader. (This is stereotyping, yes, I know, but if it offends you, there's always the complaint button at the bottom of the quiz, and you can let me have it.) This cheerleader came out of the test, the same one, sobbing. It seems that she couldn't identify the constituents of the various rocks. What did she keep repeating over and over and over again? I shouldn't work gra-nites Doh-lomite Zeo-lites never taste as good as the original Mineral the same

8. One structural geologist was known for being really proactive about research, and always published five papers a year, and got lots of grants, and, and... Well, his colleagues always used this phrase to describe him. One swallow-tail gypsum doesn't make a summer The early bird gets the vermiculite In for a pinacoid, out for a pedion Graben the bull by the horns

9. I'll bet you didn't know this, but Shakespeare's Richard III was really a geologist! What did he *really* run around yelling in the last scene? My kingdom be graben from me! These fools cleavage me from life! Limestone shall I under earth! A horst, a horst, my kingdom for a horst!

10. And did I mention that Hamlet was really into optical mineralogy? He had some trouble at first learning about biaxial and uniaxial indicatrices. Which question does he ponder in his famous monologue? What a piece of work is malachite 2V or not 2V, that is the question Get thee to anorthite Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Hematite