A Very Sick Quiz

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  

1. If you're "praying at the porcelain altar", "yodeling in the porcelain canyon", or "driving the porcelain bus", what are you actually doing and where are you? Puking while being baptised Being sick while taking a bath Throwing up while leaning over a sink Vomiting while holding the toilet bowl rim

2. All of the following expressions could be used as a euphemism for vomiting, but which one of them is in common use? Having dinner in reverse gear Making a colour chart for Dulux Having a technicolor yawn Studying the carpet

3. Only one of the following expressions has been frequently used to describe the act of throwing up your food. Which one is it? Milking the monkey Calling a cougar Unleashing a leopard Parking a tiger

4. According to a common euphemism for being physically sick, who would you be talking to "on the big white phone"? Ralph Bob Phil George W. Bush

5. You're at a party and you've just eaten three cup cakes, two bowls of crisps, some fried chicken, pretzels, lasagna, and a Greek salad. Unfortunately, you've also had seven beers, two red wines, and a pina colada, and you're about to conform to an old expression which says that you'll be "laughing" at what? The lawn The host The menu The table

6. Which of the following euphemisms for being physically ill is commonly used, and was not simply invented for this question? Evicting stomach squatters Making faces at the gutter Tossing your cookies Preparing a palette for Picasso

7. If you're feeling well enough, can you pick the established euphemism for vomiting from the ones I've simply made up? Retching for the stars Teaching ants about tsunamis Checking to see if you'd chewed your food Training to be a supermodel

8. One of the following euphemisms for vomiting has been around for some time, but the others are my inventions and need to be purged. Which one would sound familiar to many people? Arguing with Mother Earth Slipping into something less comfortable Guiding immigrants from Tummyland Delivering a pavement pizza

9. All of these euphemisms for upchucking food might be appropriate, but which of them is an established one? Dominating a debate with John Testing the gut valves Gargling gravy Creating gastric refugees

10. When someone is being physically ill, they are sometimes said to be suffering from what? Quasimodo's cough An oral dilemma Oral diarrhoea Elevator syndrome