The Cuckoo Clock of Horror Strikes Back

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1. One o'clock. The cuckoo comes out and makes it clear that this is war. Its opening shot is "Mother of Mine". I install ear plugs and try to rise above it. Who sang this song? Andy Stewart Keith Chegwin Aled Jones Neil Reid

2. Two o'clock. The cuckoo announces that "Someone left the cake out in the rain". My machete sweep misses it completely. Do cat's tails grow back? Who sang the song this line is from? William Shatner Richard Harris Lorne Green Telly Savalas

3. Three o'clock. The cuckoo hits new depths of horror, warbling out "Wave a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose". The crossbow bolt misses it, but I do now have a new indoor water feature. The cast of which show are responsible for this song? The Muppets Spitting Image Eastenders Not The Nine O'clock News

4. Four o'clock. The cuckoo breaks through the superglue I applied to his door and takes his revenge with "The Laughing Gnome". Which big star would probably prefer to forget this record? Will Young Elton John David Bowie Paul McCartney

5. Five o'clock. I am armed and ready, as the cuckoo leaps out singing "Ooh boys cheeky girls" I open the cage full of feral cats. As they shred the furniture to pieces instead of the cuckoo I'm sure I hear it laughing. Who sang this song? Chico Jedward The Cheeky Boys The Cheeky Girls

6. Six o'clock. The completely undamaged cuckoo pops out to sing "Blobby Blobby Blobby". As the professional marksman takes aim one of the feral cats bites him and the only thing shot is the ceiling. Who sang "Mr Blobby"? Noel Edmonds Bernard Cribbens Mike Batt Mr Blobby

7. Seven o'clock. The cuckoo materialises to the strains of "Doctorin The Tardis". Unfortunately my screwdriver isn't sonic and didn't screw up his door in time. Who gave us this memorable tune? The Timelords The Daleks The Ood Torchwood

8. Eight o'clock. If that door opens my booby trap will blow the cuckoo to kingdom come. The cuckoo however is cleverer than I, and dances out of a side door singing "Macarena". Who do we have to thank for this song? Kings of Leon Ricky Martin Los Del Rio Los Lobos

9. Nine o'clock. I hear the cuckoo winding up to come out and take aim. It defeats me again, the door bursts opens and the strains of "Long Haired Lover From Liverpool" come forth, but my knife hits empty air, the cuckoo stays inside. Which member of a pop family sang this? The Osmonds Donny Osmond Little Jimmy Osmond Marie Osmond

10. Ten o'clock. The cuckoo inflicts the ultimate horror. As it emerges it starts to sing the "Crazy Frog". That is the final straw, I drop the sten gun and run screaming from the house. It has won. Who created the original animated Crazy Frog character? Jamba Gershon Kingsley Harold Faltermeyer Erik Wernquist