The Evil Essay

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  

1. Your professor asks you to write an essay discussing the degenerate behavior of college students. You have no idea where to begin. What is an effective way to start writing this paper? Write the essay spontaneously Brainstorm ideas Ask the professor for a different topic Buy an essay online

2. When writing an essay, you want to stick to the subject. You don't want to begin with an idea on women's liberation, and then end up discussing why you'll die alone and childless. What is the first thing you must do to establish your main idea? Include a sentence that says, "This paper is about..." Develop a clear thesis statement Provide an outline for the reader Prepare footnotes

3. The Introduction- You can't immediately jump into your paper, proposing that every child deserves a pony. What should your introduction do? Supply important introductory information Offer your thesis statement All of these Gain the reader's interest

4. The Body- The paragraphs in your essay must uphold your thesis statement (which incidentally reads, "Thesis statements negatively impact human happiness"). The evidence you provide to support your main points must be all of the following EXCEPT: General Accurate Relevant Cited

5. The Conclusion- What should your conclusion include? (No, it can't end "Lotsa love, ya'll!"). The statement: "This is the end of my essay..." A look to the past A suggestion that this topic has been completely explored A return to your thesis

6. You have written the introduction, body, and conclusion of your essay entitled "Why God Loves America More Than Your Country". What is this--er--first effort called? Final draft Outline Middle draft Rough draft

7. While you revise your written product, you realize that your supporting paragraphs just don't "flow" that well. You need to add some handy-dandy words to help better connect your ideas. What are these words called? Gerunds Dangling modifiers Transition words Functions

8. Aside from lack of originality, lack of motivation, and a faulty printer, what is a problem many essay-writers stumble upon? Subject is too broad Both of these Subject is too narrow Neither of these

9. You have completed almost all steps of the writing process. Phew! Now the only thing left to do is make sure you dotted your Is, crossed your Ts, and wiped off that coffee stain. What is this tedious step called? Loop-de-looing Spotchecking Proofreading Double crossing

10. The Title- You can give your essay any title you want: "An In-Depth Discussion of Cat Owners' Landholding Records" or "Gosh, I Love My Kitty Cat". Either way, the title is the first thing your reader sees, but is usually the last thing you should write. True False