"Dave Barry's Money Secrets" - Part II

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  

1. What does Dave say is the only proven way to make money in the stock market? Use a dart board to select your stocks. Buy low, sell high. Research and select the ten stocks that have performed the best over the last 25 years, get in a time machine, go back 25 years, buy these stocks. Consult an investment firm.

2. According to Dave, what is the area of expertise of most stock market analysts? Buying and selling of Blue Chip stocks. The past. Finding good value stocks. Playing golf.

3. Chapter 16 is titled "How to Get Rich in Real Estate- Simple Foolproof Techniques Unconditionally Guaranteed to Work 100% of the Time for Anybody". What is the next subtitle? At least that's what the infomercials say. Except you. I also have a bridge in Brooklyn you might be interested in. Also - Cheap Viagra

4. Dave talks about people buying older houses because they have "character". What is "character"? Dry rot. A documented history. A certain special look. The ability to sell for more than they're worth.

5. What is number one in the Code of Ethics of a car dealership? Never reveal the true price of the car to the customer until after the customer has agreed to purchase the car. The maximum value for the least dollar. The customer is always right. Don't forget the undercoating.

6. When traveling by air, what is an important point to remember about carry-on luggage? It should have wheels. It should look nice. It should have an ID tag in case it is misplaced. The luggage must actually be able to fit in the overhead bin.

7. What does Dave say is the best way to tell how much a hotel is going to charge for rooms? How many valets and concierges they have. Their proximity to all the important areas of the city. Checking their AAA rating. Look at their toilet paper.

8. What is Dave's main question about Donald Trump? How can he (Dave) get on Trump's reality show? How does he keep attracting all those beautiful women? What's the deal with his hair? How was he able to amass his fortune?

9. Dave has a whole chapter devoted to Donald Trump's book. Dave says that, according to Trump's book, if you have a choice between hiring good people or bad people, which should you hire? Bad people - there are no good people. Good people. A combination of both. Relatives.

10. And finally, everyone has to die. What does Dave say is the most important decision to make before you die? Who to put in your will and who to leave out. What your last words will be. Where to be buried. How to make sure your loved ones will be left financially sound.