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A Bad Night at the Movies
"Let's all go to the movies! A fun time will be had by all! Until Murphy's Law kicks in. So the first question is: How bad can it get? "
15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit
You and your two best pals have found your way from the concession stand to the auditorium finding your wallets $60 lighter but arms full of popcorn, candy and soda. But the film reviews say it's worth it. The lights dim halfway and the trailers start. Off to the left side of the screen you see some squiggly lines, but don't think much of it, until you notice the actor's lips are moving but everything is silent, plus all the words are backwards. What are the squiggly lines?
The lighting cues
a new encoded captioning
An animation sequence
The optical soundtrack
Fairly quickly the film has stopped and then resumed. The lines are gone and the sound is back. Going into the second trailer, a new Julia Roberts chick-flick, you groan to see Julia's big smiling mouth is on top of her eyes with a thin black line between. What has probably happened to this trailer?
The wrong lens was used
It's on purpose - for art sake
It got wet
When you go out to tell an employee what has happened, you hear the kid say over the radio, "The film in 10 is out of frame," then he extraneously adds, "They must have counted the sprocket holes wrong." Not really understanding what that meant you wonder: "How many sprocket holes in what?"
6 sprocket holes per frame
4 sprocket holes per frame
144 sprocket holes per trailer
24 sprocket holes per minute
Walking back to your seat you see that the next trailer is on, but at least mouths and eyes are where they are supposed to be. The next trailer starts and Bruce Willis is back in action...and thinner than ever? He looks down right squished. What's going on?
The film has gotten wet
He's taken up yoga
The wrong lens is being used
The projector is going too fast
Speaking of squished, the room has filled up fast! (Oh, no are those crying babies and screaming children?!) Knowing that the ticketing system automatically sells out a show with 10% of the seats left, why do people look like they are going to be sitting on the steps?
The front rows are mostly empty
Any of these answers could explain it
The teens are sneaking into this R rated feature
People showed up late for their showtime and ambled into this one
All have found a seat and the final trailer has ended and the movie has started! Looking around again you find something obviously wrong with your presentation...*grumble, grumble, sigh* The sound is full and surround, the image crisp and clean and free of dust. What could it be this time?
The curtains are shut
You have dumped your popcorn in the floor
There are frogs jumping around
The lights have not gone all the way down
That issue took too long to fix for some reason, but since then, the movie has been pleasantly issue free. You start to relax your guard and get into the plot. The climax is about to hit and you are practically on the edge of your seat, and then the image stops and this happens:
The stationary image jitters a little from top to bottom
The stationary image burns crispy from the inside out to the edges
The image stays stationary, but the sound keeps playing
Staticy "snow" lines pop up and you yell to fix the tracking
In the 20 minutes it's taking the projectionist to fix the issue, you start to think. That was not nearly as impressive as the climax as the movie may have been, but it does make you wonder how fast the film is running through that 35mm projector. What is the speed of film?
50 frames per second, or 120ft per minute
1000 feet pet minute, or 10mi per hour
35 frames per second, or 100ft per minute
24 frames per second, or 90ft per minute
This has been a fairly crummy experience. You are so glad this didn't happen last week when you finally made it across town to enjoy the grand experience of seeing a film in IMAX. IMAX is the brand name of what size film?
Large format 70mm
Large format 35mm
Could this experience have gotten any worse? Probably, but for now it's time to go. Hit up the diner and have some pie to discuss the night. But first, do you think a refund may be in order? (Say 'yes'.)
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Compiled Feb 21 13