* "But in my age the little soldier needs a little more thumpin' before it starts pumpin' if you know what I mean."
* "Little? I'm not little, I'm hung like a bull lady!"
* "Oh good thinking Dwight, traumatized coeds are a sure thing."
* "Why is he running so slow?"
* "I'm gonna slice that little cripple up!"
* "Dude, someone's on the rag!"
* "I think I'll be the better man now and walk away...walk away."
* "I know what you're thinking...did I fire 3 shots or 117?"
* "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to smoke your relatives!"
* "Morphine, chloroform, horse tranquilizers! You drugged him!"
* "I'm fine, I broke my fall."
* "Look, I don't need your help lady. I can do it myself!"
* "This is skeleton, this is bones! Would you run from Calista Flockhart?"
* "You're gonna fall unless you take my hand!"
* "You ain't be talkin' bout my mamma son! You don't know my momma son!"
* "Oh, I bought mine on Friday. I just came down to get a banana."
* "I've never had a friend who cares for me the way you do. I mean, there's Ray, but he cares for me in a different way, like bringing me flowers, running my bath water, and sometimes I wake up screaming and Ray's in my bed holding me."
* "Hey look! I'm tossing my own salad!"
* "I think I know why you're mad Mr. Cat. I didn't mean to go poopy in your litterbox."
* "Give me my vasaline, a banana, and some duct tape!"