* 'Hank, you're living back in the days of black and white TVs and a democratically elected Congress.'
* 'The truth is like sunlight. People used to think it's good for you.'
* 'I love you propane man.'
* 'Let's get this one - it's like watching TV except the show's about wet clothes moving round and round.'
* I don't take no anesthetic. Did Lincoln ask for any girlie gas when they blowed his head off?'
* 'There's some milk in the fridge that's about to go bad...And there it goes.'
* 'Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.'