* Complete the following headline: 'Headmaster suspended for using big-faced child as...'?
* What is the name of farmer Chester Johnson's sheepdog?
* In what type of establishment is the soap opera showcased on the programme set?
* Who presents the travel news from a tower a mile above London?
* What is the gangsta rapper Fur Q's song called?
* What is the last word of this headline? 'Russia elects...'?
* Which island was stolen and towed away in the middle of the night by another country?
* Which of these is NOT used as a summary of the weather?
* Which of these headlines has not been used on the show?
* The spoof rap from 'Fur Q' is described as what by Derrin Zikks?
* Which of these 'jam donators' does Chris Morris say that he hates?
* What animals does Ted Maul tell us are running wild through the London Underground?
* It's war! What can Susanna Gekkaloys hear the woman in the house saying through the "universal language of mutual need"?
* Under broadcasting restrictions what must IRA spokesman, Rory O'Connor, do whilst being interviewed?
* What was Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan's immediate response to Chris Morris telling him there were only 2,5000 people at the General Motors plant he had just said had layed off 3,5000 people?
* Hennety is "trying to run a high class Bureau de Change, not some..."
* What is Spartacus Mills' answer to Chris asking whether the news of John Major punching the Queen was "huge history happening"?
* I don't think any 'The Day Today' quiz would be complete without including our favourite sports reader, Alan Partridge. So, which of these comments was Alan heard to utter in his 'World Cup 1994' round up?