Special Sub-Topic: Limerick Fun Authored by: professorjon Sub-topic of: Thematic 10Q Average

There once was a spider named Jeb Who came upon an inviting web Where he met his mate Thus sealing his fate He was eaten by a spider named Deb. Which of the following species of spiders sometimes devours the male spider after mating?

Black Widow. The Black Widow is a venomous spider that inhabits most of the warmer regions of the world. There are several different species, but all are poisonous. However their bite is rarely fatal because they do not inject enough poison (usually) to kill someone. The Black Widow feeds mostly on insects, but sometimes after mating they will also devour the male. I hope no one answered 'Pink Lady'. The Pink Ladies were the girls in the movie "Grease."

There once was a deer named Fred Who had trouble keeping his family fed If I'm not mistaken This plot has been taken Oh boy, is my face utterly red. Which of the following television shows was about a man who barely kept his family fed?

The Beverly Hillbillies. "The Beverly Hillbillies" ran on CBS from 1962-1971. The series dealt with a suddenly wealthy backwoods family moving to Beverly Hills. But then we all knew that, didn't we?

There once was a chap with a big nose Who had troubles like nobody knows Whenever he'd sneeze His friends they would tease They would shout "Oh Oh, thar she blows." Which of the following literary characters had a big nose?

Cyrano De Bergerac. The leading character of the 1897 play by Edmond Rostand (1868-1918) of Cyrano De Bergerac was based on a real person who name was the same as the character. The real Cyrano (1619-1665) was not the dashing swordsman but he really did have a big nose. Jose Ferrer starred as Cyrano in the 1950 movie "Cyrano de Bergerac" and he won a best acting Oscar.

There once was a woman from Bath Five husbands this woman had hath With just fifteen more She’d have a full score How is that for creative math. Which of the following literary works featured the Woman from Bath?

The Canterbury Tales. "Love Labours Lost" was an early work by William Shakespeare. "The Faerie Queen" was written by Edmund Spenser and "The Bride of Lammermoor" by Sir Walter Scott.

There once was a man, James Carville Who worked on Capitol Hill He cried “It’s a disgrace, I have egg on my face. My predictions were frightfully unreal." On which of the following television shows did former Clinton advisor James Carville break an egg over his head?

Meet the Press. James Carville predicted before the election that Kerry would win with a 52% landslide. When asked after the election, on "Meet the Press," about his prediction by host Tim Russert, Carville replied that he was wrong and he broke an egg over his head to dramatize his wrong prediction. Some of the egg did get on Russert.

There was a grasshopper from Dakar Who entered a neighborhood bar The bartender cooed A drink's named for you "What, You have a drink named Bob Parr”? Which of the following ingredients is NOT in a grasshopper?

Grapefruit. The grasshopper is a type of cocktail, which is another term for a mixed drink. The alcohol usually used is vodka. The grasshopper can also have vanilla ice cream. No grasshoppers or grapefruit though, are included in the drink. There are various recipes for the drink. Other ingredients include "Three Fourths Oz. Green Creme De Menthe, Three Fourths Oz. White Creme De Cacao, Three Fourths Oz. Light Cream." From http://www.wiu.edu/users/mujma4/bartender/drinks-g.html

There once was a man from Glasgow Who wondered out into the snow No new tourists today He said with dismay Why, it's at least twenty below. Which of the following tourist destination is in Glasgow?

The Museum of Transport. The Museum has a collection of vehicles and models and focuses on the history of . . . transport. The Ice Hotel is in Quebec. The Cliffs of Moher are in Ireland and Glyndwr's Way is in Wales.

There was a bicyclist named Lance Who raced the famed Tour De France Teams watched in dismay As Lance put them away They didn't stand much of a chance. Which of the following ailments was Lance Armstrong able to overcome and resume his racing career?

Testicular Cancer. Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 1996. The cancer had spread to his lungs and he was only given a fifty-fifty chance of survival. However, he was able to beat it and return to racing and in 1999 he won his first Tour de France. Lance continued to shine and he dominated the Tour. In 2005 he set out and won a record breaking seventh consecutive Tour de France.

There once was a chess grandmaster Whose game was a real disaster "I'm in double check My game is a wreck This machine is a lot faster." What is the name of the chess computer that defeated grandmaster Gary Kasparov in 1997?

Deep Blue. World champion grandmaster Kasparov defeated Deep Blue in 1996, but he was defeated in the rematch in 1997. The Deep Blue was developed by IBM and is considered the greatest chess playing computer ever created. Their are different versions of Deep Blue, and the latest update is, according to its website, the improvement of speed. Website: www.research.ibm.com/deepblue/

There once was a quiz maker named Jon A real sharp pistol with a great sense of fun This chap was cunning With a talent for punning Well I'll be a son of a gun. What is the common bond . . . er I mean . . . Which of the following figures of speech is similar to punning?

Paronomasia. Paronomasia (from the Greek word meaning to form a word by a slight change)is the art of punning and I am an artist.