1. This country had a lot of kings that no one could ever remember the names of, but for the last 50 or so years it appears the place has been run by a series of women. The pleasures of the flesh appear to be unknown to the inhabitants of this land... certainly the FOOD is horrible; bangers & mash and bubble & squeak are things you INGEST rather than excrete! The country does have great comedians, though they all have 5-digit IQ's and make recondite jokes about obscure stuff that they learned at snooty colleges. Who are they? French Germans Belgians Brits

2. When not painting annoying flower pictures or building ridiculous towers in the 7th arrondissement, these people sit around smoking horribly expensive cigarettes and philosophizing. They speak a mellifluous language in which paragraphs sound like one continuous word with a lot of "oo" sounds in it. Their most famous war hero was a teenage girl. They make endless terrible movies about menages a trois, and they plaster long silly names on wine bottles for which they charge exorbitant amounts. Who are they? The Belgians The English The Germans The French

3. These people brood. I mean really brood ... a LOT! Then they think about depressing stuff. They paint even more depressing stuff. Their diet is incredibly varied, consisting as it does of meat, meat and meat. They are arguably the least romantic of the European peoples and their language sounds like marching orders. Every now and again they invade France. Yanks hated them for a while but now fall all over each other to buy their cars. When not brooding, they're pretty good at manufacturing stuff. Especially helmets. They LOVE helmets ... they even name their kids after 'em! Who are they? The Germans The Poles The English The Czech

4. These people invented civilization or something. Then they got bored with it and made up a bunch of really ridiculous mythology. Then the Romans came. Alexander the Great turned up somewhere in there but was really a Macedonian, though you should be careful not to lay undue stress on this point if you're in a place called "Nick's Diner". One of these people, a goo-goo type from Brookline, Mass., ran for President in 1988 and got completely blown away after a rather dirty campaign was run against him. Who are they? The Albanians The Bulgarians The Serbs The Greeks

5. The principal occupation of this country appears to be going on strike. When they do work, they make great sports cars, shoes and suits. But there's really no point in working... the land is fertile, the climate pleasant, the wine is plentiful... why not just sit around, sing an operatic aria, ogle buxom women, and maybe paint a church ceiling? The people in the north of this country view the people from the southern part of the land as ignorant peasants and will not even TALK about some other countrymen of theirs who live on a nearby island, speak in a funny dialect and have movies made about them in which they kill each other in picturesque ways. Who are they? Greeks Bulgarians French Italians

6. Half the residents of this verdant land are arguably the world's toughest, hardest people. They have broad, freckled faces, twinkly blue eyes, big ears, enormous legs, and are said to get ferociously drunk and beat each other up in bars. The men, on the other hand, sit around writing good poetry and sad books, much of this in a language which appears to have entirely too many vowels and "h"'s in it It has been suggested that they studiously avoid sex with the tough, sharp-tongued women, or at best have it once in a blue moon but feel VERY ashamed about it. What is this odd land? Ireland Wales Germany England

7. Geography is indeed often destiny, and sad fate has placed this unfortunate state between two of the most warlike countries in the world. The people have managed to withstand unending invasions from both west and east by eating a hearty, artery-clogging diet consisting almost entirely of cheese, dough and sour cream, with an occasional sausage on the side. This is often washed down with extremely warm vodka, and cynics suggest this is the case because the locals cannot remember the recipe for ice. Who are these people? Poles Bulgarians Belgians Croatians

8. All Americans know that this land is the place you go to for "s" experiences... sun at midnight, skiing, sex and suicide. It is rumored to be the world capital of blonde women, on whom Yank alphas believe they can readily slake their unbridled lust. The suicide rate is believed to be directly tied to the country's very advanced cinema, which churns out an endless succession of well-made movies so depressing as to make "The English Patient" look like "The Producers." What is the place called? Denmark Sweden The Netherlands Hungary

9. This tiny nation, a long-standing subject of fun for the French (who refer to them with an insulting diminuendo), not only houses the European Union, but also what appears to be the highest concentration of FT quizmakers in the world. An important city almost at its western tip has name which translates (of course!) as "East End". The food is great; there's an annoying linguistic divide but the people tend to be rampantly multilingual. Kevin Kline's dopey/scary character in "A Fish Called Wanda" mistakenly (if hilariously) believed that Socrates was from here. Name the place! Switzerland The Slovak Republic The Netherlands Belgium

10. This state, apparently the easternmost country in the world which speaks a Romance language, is known for gypsies, crazy tennis players, girl gymnasts, extremely tall basketball players, and a certain historical character who was known for... well, impaling people. Though their neighbors the Hungarians generally loathe them, arguably the most famous of all of these people was in fact portrayed by a Hungarian in a famous 1931 film. Who are they? Albanians Serbs Bulgarians Romanians