1. Alright, so we've got this guy. He's on a dark desert highway, there's cool wind in his hair. He smells the warm smell of colitas rising up through the air. And then, up ahead in the distance he sees what kind of light? a glimmering light a bright light a shining light a shimmering light

2. His head is growing heavy, his sight's growing dim; he just has to stop for the night. There she's standing in the doorway and he hears this bell. What kind of bell? a carol of the bells a church bell a mission bell a jingle bell

3. So he's standing there, right? Then he starts to think this could be ______ or this could be ____. What two contrasting ideas does he ponder? yin and yang good and bad heaven and hell peanut butter and jelly

4. So then this woman lights up a flammable stick of wax. What exactly does she light? Answer: (One or Two words...If you're going to do two, the first word is "a")

5. Then he thinks he hears these voices in the corridor. They're saying something like "Welcome to the Hotel California. Such a ______ place, such a lovely face..." What do the voices think about the Hotel California? They think it's roach-infested and that he should leave ASAP They think it's wonderful They think it's lovely They think it's pretty

6. How much room do these voices say is at the Hotel California? Plenty Tons Enough So Much

7. So this girl that shows him the way, man, her mind is Tiffany-twisted. What kind of car has she got? an Impala a Explorer a Mercedes a Camaro

8. She's also got a lot of pretty, pretty boys that she calls "friends". Yeah right. They like to dance in the courtyard and it sounds to me like they enjoy the "sweet summer sweat". Some dance to ________ and then you've got those that dance to ______. Why do these groups of people dance in the courtyard with their sweet summer sweat? some dance to remember and some dance to forget some dance because they like to and some dance because they're forced to some dance to have fun and some dance to meet women some dance to be frivolous and some dance for the same reason

9. So while they're all out dancing, who does he call up? the captain the right-hand man the skipper the first mate

10. There's a reason he's calling, but why? What does he want? He needs some one to talk to He wants to know why there are voices down the corridor He wants them to stop dancing out there in the courtyard; they're making too much noise He asks for the captain to please bring him his wine

11. The captain then replies "we haven't had that spirit here since ____." What year did they last have that spirit here? Answer: (Number)

12. And then the voices start calling from far away. When do they wake you up? at three in the morning during your mid-day nap at noon in the middle of the night

13. Jeez, these voices are rude. They wake you up just to hear them say "Welcome to the Hotel Califonia. Such a lovely place, such a lovely face. They're livin' it up at the Hotel California. What a nice surprise, bring your..." What do the voices tell you to bring? Your neckties Your vanilla skies Your alibis Your horseflies

14. What's on the ceiling? Mirrors A fan Blood Panes of glass

15. And there's also this alcoholic beverage on ice, but a specific color. What color and what beverage? Red, red wine Pink champagne Amber beer White whiskey

16. Then the woman with all her pretty, pretty boys tells the guy that they are all just prisoners there of their own device. They all go to someone's chambers to gather for this feast they're having. What kind of chambers? The guest's chambers The chambermaid's chambers The master's chambers The chamberlain's chambers

17. Then they all start stabbing this beast with their knives. What kind of knives were they? Sterling silver knives Copper knives Brass knives Steely knives

18. So they're all just hacking this poor beast to death...too bad, they just can't kill it. The last thing this guy remembers, he was running for the door. He just has to find the _______ back to the place he was before. What leads back to the place he was before? A passage A way A hallway A red carpet

19. Then this other guy tells him to relax and they are "programmed to receive." I'm sure that really helps. Who tells him to relax? The nightman The entrance guard The doorman Some random guy that just happened to be going the same way he was

20. And, as if this whole ordeal weren't enough to scar this poor guy for life, the "relax" man is now telling him that he can check out anytime he likes, but he can never do what? Come back Leave Find the way out Go home