Unreal-Estate and Classified Ads - Tribute Quiz

15 Points Per Correct Answer - No time limit  

1. For sale: small plot of vegetated woodland, commanding views of ever-changing magical lands. Resident planning to retire to the night sky. The Crumpety Tree The Whomping Willow The Magic Faraway Tree Yggdrasil

2. Situations Vacant: porters, desk clerks, bellhops, chambermaids, chefs and waiters needed for positions in hotel in exotic location. Management assures all applicants that rumours of Vermicious Knids in the vicinity are baseless. Life insurance included in benefit package. Ask for Messrs. Shuckworth, Shanks and Showler. The Cape Kennedy Hilton Major Tom's Motel Space Hotel U.S.A. Le Grand Venusian

3. To let: house in small-town Southern United States. Speedy lease a priority as recently-widowed owner leaving for indefinite period to enter Vermont medical research facility. Excellent security; 24-hour military presence. Contact Stu Redman. Minnie's Knee, Louisiana Hemingford Home, Nebraska Shoyo, Arkansas Arnette, Texas

4. For sale: large tract of wooded land. Situated within marching distance of Scottish castle. Has a tendency to alter location when soldiers are in the vicinity. Ask for Mr MacDuff. Sherwood Forest Dunsinane Birnam Wood Dunroamin'

5. For sale: small house in Walworth with own moat. Aged Parent permanently installed. Fifty pounds neg. Contact... Mr Scrooge Mr Jaggers Mr Pirrip Mr Wemmick

6. To let: small apartment in The Shades. Walking distance from The Mended Drum and Guild of 'Seamstresses'. Previous tenant a member of the Night Watch, so bed only slightly used. Rent $5 per week. Ask for Mrs Palm. Lancre Klatch Ankh-Morpork Llamedos

7. Rooms to let: in Southwerk at the Tabard, ideal for burgeys redy to wenden on hir pilgrimage. Particularly beautiful whan that Aprill with his shoures sote the droghte of Marche hath pierced to the rote. Conveniently situated en route to... Answer: (One word)

8. For sale: one ring, slightly used. Would serve nicely as wedding ring for marriage of Pussycat to elegant fowl. One shilling o.n.c.o. Contact Piggy-wig of... The Land where the Bong Tree grows Jumblieland Turkey Hill Through the Looking-Glass

9. To swap: small island off the coast of Corsica, near the island of Elba. Underground chambers hold untold riches. Would ideally suit vengeful young count keen to establish himself in Paris society. Wanted in exchange: framed political prisoner as tutee and loyal cellmate. Contact Abbe Faria. Answer: (Two Words)

10. For sale: small cave, very cosy, in The Lantern Wastes. Would suit Faun, or possibly Son of Adam or Daughter of Eve with minimal space requirements. No Witches need apply. Ask for Mr Tumnus. Oz Hogsmead Narnia Cair Paravel

11. Have you got Soul? If yes, The World's Hardest Working Band is looking for you. Contact J. Rabbitte, 118, Chestnut Ave., Dublin 21. Rednecks and southsiders need not apply. Answer: (One word or two)

12. To let: entailed estate in Sussex. Fully furnished and equipped with china, plate and linen. Contact Mr or Mrs John Dashwood at the London address of Mr Robert Ferrars. Hartfield Mansfield Park Netherfield Norland

13. For sale: approx. 40ha of woodland in England. Excellent opportunity for beekeepers and naturalists. Unusual array of wildlife in the area, including tigers, bears and marsupials. Contact Mr C. Robin. Sherwood Forest Warratunga Wood Barton Park The Hundred-Acre Wood

14. Just gone sectional title! Small, vacant plots on 102-ft-wide expanse of prime real estate. Rub elbows with such illustrious neighbours as the Blue Baboon and the Pobble who has no toes. The Selfish Giant's garden The Quangle-Wangle's Hat The Gingerbread House Wonderland

15. To let: A bit of earth. Would suit orphaned colonial with few friends. Lessee must maintain vegetation with love and care as requirement of let. Contact Miss Lennox. The Selfish Giant's Garden Rose Cottage Gypsy Manor The Secret Garden