1. One of my favorite films of all time could have been called 'Move Rhythmically to Music in Tandem with a Carnivorous Mammal of the Species Canis Lupus', but unfortunately it was not. Which of these Hollywood stars was featured in this film (in other words)? Robert Duvall Kevin Costner Jack Nicholson Richard Gere

2. Vincent van Gogh was one of the great artists of the 19th century, but my goodness were the titles of his paintings unimaginative. For instance, one of his great works might well have been entitled 'Those Who Ingurgitate Tuberous Root Plants from the Nightshade Family', but instead, he selected the safe (and, might I say, banal) route and named the painting...? The Pumpkin Eaters The Leek Eaters The Potato Eaters The Tomato Eaters

3. Though not as verbose as some of my other selections, the novel called 'Helios, Withal, Increases in Elevation' in other words might still be a tantalizing selection. Which of these authors might well have used this as the title of one of his books? Ernest Hemingway James Joyce F. Scott Fitzgerald John Steinbeck

4. One of the most beautiful works of modern classical music might have been even more beautiful if the title 'Vernal Period among the Massif that Closely Follows the Oriental Contours of the United States' had been settled upon. Who composed this lovely musical piece that was given a rather more ungenerous name? George Gershwin Irving Berlin Stephen Foster Aaron Copland

5. Among my personal favorite plays is this one, which I have lovingly entitled in other words 'The extinguishing of a human being of the masculine variety who earns income sufficient for living by the vending of miscellaneous objects'. Which of these playwrights was responsible for the authorship of this wonderful theatrical work? Bertolt Brecht Thornton Wilder Arthur Miller Eugene O'Neill

6. Which of these grand films would certainly have broken much greater box office ground had it used my recommended title, 'The Daily Matutinal Repast Coterie'? The Living Daylights The Early Birds The Breakfast Club Red Dawn

7. Back to the world of painting, I have conjured up another alternate title for a famous work of art that might well have purchased it much greater mass appeal. Which of these painters could have been responsible for 'The Cyanic Stripling', but resolved instead to select a more conventional title? Thomas Gainsborough Thomas Lawrence Joshua Reynolds Henry Raeburn

8. Which of these authors might well have entitled one of her most well-known novels 'En Route Towards the Pharos', but in a flash of impatience opted for a much less flashy moniker for the book? Edith Wharton Jane Austen Virginia Woolf Anne Brönte

9. 'The Articulation of Well Wishes Prior to Imbibing or Upon Bidding One's Adieu' is a longer, and might I add much more eloquent, title (in other words) for what popular American television series? Friends Cheers Happy Days Good Times

10. I now attack the opera world with this suggestion for a title, in other words, that really would have sent ripples through the operatic community: 'Papilionaceous Gentlewoman'. Which opera might otherwise have been do dually entitled? The Second Mrs. Kong Lady MacBeth Madam Butterfly Miss Saigon