1. "Do you know how much you annoy me? The answer is 'a lot.' Should I list the reasons why? Well I don't see why not. It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face. You always need a hug. Not to mention all the manly appletinis that you chug. That you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex And oh my God stop telling me when you have nerdy sex." The Janitor J.D. Dr. Kelso Dr. Cox

2. "Did I grow in Illinois or was it Michigan? How long before we met was I in medicine? Was our Wedding song The Beatles or Led Zeppelin? Am I freakin' Puerto Rican or Dominican?" Jordan Nurse Roberts Carla J.D.

3. "It all started with a penny in the door. There was a hatred I had never felt before So now I'll make him pay Each and every day Until that mousse-haired little nuisance is no more." Dr. Kelso J.D. Dr. Cox The Janitor

4. "Let's face the facts about me and you A love unspecified Though I'm proud to call you 'chocolate bear' The crowd will always talk and stare." Elliot Turk J.D. Carla

5. "Everything comes down to poo. From the top of your head to the sole of your shoe. We can figure out what's wrong with you by looking at your poo." Turk Elliot Todd J.D.

6. "We're running a test that's a waste of our time. But at least she'll accept that she's medically fine. She'll admit that she's nuts or I'll have to say, 'snore.' Just give her the CAT scan and show her the door." Dr. Cox Turk Dr. Kelso Elliot

7. "The thing is guys, remember facts. Like what Derek Jeter hit last year which was .303 That is why our brains are maxed and there's no room for things like birthdays or ethnicities." Elliot Todd Turk The Janitor

8. "How am I supposed to tell him that he's not moving too? He doesn't have a clue." Elliot J.D. Turk Carla

9. "Hello, I'm Dr. _____, I'm delighted that you came So the doctors say you fainted and you don't know what's to blame. Well put your mind at ease, there's no ill we can't outsmart. On behalf of all who work here, welcome to Sacred Heart." Turk Cox Kelso Dorian

10. "I'm sure you must be scared, not knowing what this test will bring. It could prove that you are crazy. Do you still hear people sing? It's best to know the truth, of that I have no doubt. But you'll have to face the future when the truth comes out." J.D. Elliot Turk Carla