1. In "The Schmeed Memoirs" who is Schmeed? The magnificent magician A pithy politician The world's greatest semi-conductor The best barber in wartime Germany

2. According to Allen, 'eternal nothingness' is okay if what? You are dressed for it You are ready to meet your maker. You lived a good life It comes in a can.

3. How does Nat Ackerman delay death in "Death Knocks"? He hides in a broom closet He convinces Death that he is Josef Gooperman Beats Death at gin He tells Death that Nat is in Bulgaria

4. What word does Gossage make in mail Scrabble in the short story "The Gossage-Vardebedian Papers"? Zanjero Dazzler Kwijibo Agoutis

5. In the short story, "Conversations With Helmholtz" the main character Helmholtz was a contemporary of what famous person? Freud Hitchcock Hitler Pee Wee Herman

6. In "Viva Vargus" what song does Arturo favor the revolutionaries with? Una Paloma Blanca How Dry I Am One Fine Day Cielito Lindo

7. In "Lovborg's Women Considered" lovborg wrote a play called "Mellow Pears". In the play, who owns Henrick's earmuffs? Finland His dog Susie A Corporation Netta

8. In "The Irish Genius" Eamon Bixby was a political fanatic who preached what as the cure for the world's ills? Fresh mussels Death Ventriloquism A large picnic

9. In "My Speech to the Graduates" Woody Allen writes that mankind faces a crossroad. One road leads to 'Despair and Utter Hopelessness'. Where does the other road lead? Despair and utter happiness Total extinction Gloom of night Pittsburgh

10. According to Virgil Ives in "Confessions of a Burglar", what does Mr. Ives plan to do once he serves his four consecutive ninety - nine year sentences? Become a TV repairman Go to Disneyland Go into politics Work with children