Characters in 'Haunted' Trivia Quiz

Answer: Miss America

Miss America was the inventor of an exercise wheel that she used to shill on local talk shows. She dies in childbirth late in the novel.

Answer: The Matchmaker

The Matchmaker is a cowboy whose family history involves an especially gory story from the Second World War. The Matchmaker meets a similar end.

Answer: Agent Tattletale

The Agent murdered the PI who was about to expose his fraudulent worker's comp claim. He then became an investigator himself, and was almost killed in similar circumstances. The Agent perpetually films the other characters, then tapes over his recordings.

Answer: Saint Gut-Free

That's not really the Saint's secret (though it is part of his story). His actual secret, if you read it, might cause you to lose your lunch all over the keyboard. Author Palahniuk likes to read the Saint's chapter to audiences and won't stop, no matter how many people faint.

You've been warned.

Answer: Comrade Snarky

Comrade Snarky is one of the characters who die in the course of the book. She admits to taking part in an attack on someone who she suspected of being a man who'd had a sex change, but may have actually been a genetic female.

Answer: The Reverend Godless

A former US Marine, the Reverend and his comrades decide that religion is the cause of all strife, and make plans to destroy every major holy site in the world. They fund this by dressing in drag and allowing people to punch them for cash.

Answer: Lady Baglady

Lady Baglady was a socialite who, with her rich friends, would dress in rags and pretend to be homeless. One night they witnessed the murder of a wealthy girl, sparking a wave of killing among transients, as the kidnappers tried to eliminate the witnesses. Lady Baglady is the first character in the novel to die.

Answer: The Earl of Slander

The Earl of Slander was a reporter who realized his dog's vet used to be a child actor. He interviewed the man, then killed him and framed him as a pervert and drug user, selling the story and becoming rich.

Answer: Director Denial

Director Denial brings a cat to the writers' retreat, which Miss America ultimately eats. But what goes around comes around...

Answer: Brandon Whittier

Mr. Whittier suffers from progeria. He looks to be a hundred, but is only a teenager. He seduces women who feel sorry for him, then reveals his real age and threatens to have them arrested as child molesters unless they pay him off. With this money, he founded the writers' retreat.

Answer: The Missing Link

The Missing Link was a member of the fictional Chewlah Tribe, who were werecreatures who'd turn into Sasquatches at times.

Answer: Mother Nature

Mother Nature was a massage therapist, who learned how to kill people with just a touch.

Answer: Chef Assassin

The Chef murders restaurant reviewers who don't like his food. He then writes to cutlery companies, threatening to publicize the alternate use of their knives, unless they pay up. In retrospect, bringing all those knives to the writers' retreat was a bad idea.

Answer: The Baroness Frostbite

The Baroness was a bartender who witnessed a man fall into a boiling spring. She was unable to drag him back inside, and lost her lips to frostbite, staying with him in the snow. Unlike everyone else in the book, her secret wasn't really shameful.

Answer: The Duke of Vandals

The Duke used to sneak into art museums and plant his own paintings there. Caught and facing jail, he agreed to knock off some other artists to drive up the price of their work. He knows it's only a matter of time before they come for him. Ironically, he is murdered at the retreat where he sought to escape.

Answer: Sister Vigilante

For reasons never really explained, Sister Vigilante would hurl bowling balls down city streets at night, where they'd often fatally strike someone.

Answer: Mrs. Clark

Mrs. Clark is Mr. Whittier's assistant. Her daughter Cassandra vanished after suffering a mental breakdown, then returned mutilated. Mrs. Clark, after poisoning her food, joined the retreat to find out what had caused Cassandra to go insane.

Answer: The Countess Foresight

The Countess wears a GPS bracelet as a condition of her parole from prison. When an antiques dealer claimed to have the preserved remains of the movie star's miscarried child, she killed him, only to find it was just a plastic doll in a jar.

Answer: Miss Sneezy

Miss Sneezy contracted a fatal, incurable disease and was locked up on a quarantine island when she was eighteen. She escaped by walking through the Puget Sound in a biohazard suit. She is the last one to die in the book, stabbed by Mother Nature.

Answer: Cora Reynolds

The Director refers to her cat as Cora Reynolds, though in telling her own story, it seems that Cora is actually the Director's name.