The First Terry Pratchett 'Footnotes' Quiz

Answer: The Guild of Thieves, Cutpurses, Housebreakers and Allied Trades

Unlicenced thieving was very strongly discouraged in Ankh-Morpork. It's a bit obvious really - the City Watch would have to work very hard to make the city safer - all the Thieves' Guild would have to do would be to work a bit less. On his first day in the Watch, Private Carrot made himself a name by arresting the Head of the Thieves' Guild - for being a thief!

Answer: Dying for a chocolate

Agnes was a large woman with a lovely personality, so she invented Perdita, her 'thin woman'. Perdita could get away with black writing paper and being pale in plum-coloured lipstick. Sometimes 'Agnes thought Perdita was as dumb as she was.'

Answer: Sidney Lopsides

It wasn't that Sidney was particularly ugly, just that 'anyone who saw him spent the rest of the day with an unnerving feeling that they were upside down'. Later, when mentioning that the night in Ankh-Morpork 'had a thousand eyes and so did the day, and it also had five hundred mouths and nine hundred and ninety nine ears' we learn that that was down to Sidney Lopside too.

Answer: The Black Ribboners

The Black Ribboners of Uberwald are former vampires who wear the Black Ribbon to show they no longer have a er...drink problem. Notable Black Ribboners include Otto Chriek, Sally and Lady Margolotta. The Eluciated Brethren of the Ebon Night summoned a Dragon, the Canting crew ate boots and mud and the Nac Mac Feegles like drinking, fighting and stealing 'coo beasties'.

Answer: Especially if it was green, and bubbled

Igors are very much traditionalists. The Igor that became the City Watch 'surgeon' was thrown out for not lisping enough.

Answer: A chocolate you did not want to eat does not count as chocolate

How many times have you taken a chocolate 'blind' (i.e. without closely studying the pictures on the lid) and, on finding it's something you didn't like, quickly taken another one as 'that didn't count'? I know I have! The footnote says that this 'is from the same branch of culinary physics that food eaten while walking contains no calories'. 'Chocolate does not count on Fridays' is my own personal rule, but you can borrow it if you want.

Answer: They don't forget in a hurry, either

No billy goat gruff is going to go trippity-trop if these trolls can help it! Trolls wouldn't want to eat billygoats (despite the story!) as they eat rocks and it's dwarfs that love gold (except in Discworld they just tell gold that to get it into bed.)

Answer: It was quite a big frog and it got into the air ducts and kept everyone awake for weeks

I love the idea of the plague of a solitary frog! There's just something so non-impressive about Djelibeybi (it's all because of the pyramids, of course). I'm afraid all the wrong answers were products of my warped imagination.

Answer: They just rather liked the effect when they grinned

The footnote explicitly states that that this was not for a religious reason. M'bu was the assistant of Azhral N'Choate, the stock dealer that Dibbler ordered a thousand elephants from for the latest click. It was M'Bu who came up with the cunning plan to get them to Holy Wood.

Answer: Nanny Ogg sent a number of cards home to her family, not a single one of which got back before she did

All the answers are things that have happened to me on holiday. I went to school with a girl who *never* posted her postcards - we got given them (unstamped) at school the following term! I hope you have enjoyed this quiz, please let me know if you did - and I'll write some more on the wonderful footnotes.