Dropping the Bomb - Cinematic Failures Quiz

Answer: Cutthroat Island

I didn't see it when it was out either - and you shouldn't feel bad. Geena Davis got back into the swing of things for the television show "Commander in Chief" (oh wait, that was canceled too...). Renny Harlin, after finishing this flop and the Samuel L. Jackson-killer "Deep Blue Sea" later directed "Driven", "Mindhunters", and "The Covenant".

It certainly helped that he was married to Geena Davis at the time he filmed and completed "Cutthroat Island", but that couldn't save them the $104,000,000 lost on the film. Davis starred as the female captain of a pirate ship, which paralleled her role on "Commander in Chief" as the female President of the United States. Renny Harlin was nominated for a Razzie in directing, but lost to Paul Verhoeven (director of "Showgirls") who accepted his statuette in person.

Answer: The Adventures of Pluto Nash

*Shudders* "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" was unnecessary to say the least. Released in 2002, the film was directed by Ron Underwood who, 12 years earlier, brought "Tremors" to the big screen (and we are still in his debt for that one...). Eddie Murphy himself has admitted that the film garnered about two or three fans in interviews. Murphy learned his lesson and never released a bad movie again... until "Norbit" in 2007. And then "Meet Dave" in 2008. "Meet Dave" lost $5,000,000 in the box office; "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" lost $134,000,000.

At least he's gotten a bit better, right? "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" is about a man who sets out to find who destroyed his nightclub in outer space. Prophets anticipating the film, maybe?

Answer: Gigli

"Gigli" (as difficult to pronounce as it is to watch) is oft-regarded as a cinematic tragedy, for viewers at least. Awarded the 2003 Razzie for Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Actor, Worst Screen Couple, Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay (in a rare 'Grand Slam'), "Gigli" is about a mobster asked to kidnap someone to get his boss out of prison. Fearing mistrust, the boss hires J-Lo's character to take over.

The two fall in love. Thumbs are cut off. It's a waste of film. Filmgoers thought the same way.

They must've been reading the tabloids about the couple because the film only earned $7,000,000 in the box office, losing $66,000,000 in total. Ironically, Jennifer Lopez was scheduled to film "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" less than a year before. Thankfully, she jumped that boat... wait.

Answer: Sahara

Costing $241,000,000 and only taking in nearly $120,000,000, the film (with huge-name actors) was a colossal blow for Paramount who expected the film to be a major action hit. Developed from Clive Cussler's book series, the film wasn't as big a failure critically as others which were notable flops, but due to the extremely expensive graphics and sets it tanked like a fish out of water... uh... in a desert. While Matthew McConaughey became a big star despite this movie, some of his later films like "Surfer, Dude" (though I call that one "Surfer, Dud") failed to hit high notes. Breck Eisner, the director, later filmed a remake of the 1973 George A. Romero horror film, "The Crazies".

Answer: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

One of the more expensive video game adaptations (loose term in this case) ever made, Square Pictures (a subsidiary of the Square-Enix gaming developers) created "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" in 2001, throwing in minimal game motifs for good measure but missing the mark entirely. While the film was a benchmark for CGI visual imagery, it tanked losing $81,000,000 (half its budget).
The film's graphics were so convincing that "Playboy" magazine placed the main character, Dr. Aki Ross, into their centerfold - the first time for an animated character (Marge Simpson would later repeat this feat in 2009). Film director Hironobu Sakaguchi also directed the original "Final Fantasy" role-playing game in 1987.
The remaining options were all critical failures. Of the three of them, only the "Mortal Kombat" sequel earned money; "Street Fighter" and Uwe Boll's "Alone in the Dark" failed to recoup their budget.

Answer: Treasure Planet

Like "The Black Cauldron" in the 1980s, "Treasure Planet" became 'that Disney movie you didn't know about'. Based on Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island" (but in SPACE!), the movie follows Jim Hawkins and involves the horrible cyborg pirate 'John Silver'. While the film was favourable with critics, it lost $70,000,000 overall. Disney would later strike gold with the Jerry Bruckheimer venture known as "Pirates of the Caribbean". The second movie in the series went on to make over $1,000,000,000.
"Treasure Planet" lost the 'Best Animated Feature' Academy Award to "Spirited Away".

Answer: Red Planet

While Brian de Palma's Mars-themed film, "Mission to Mars", earned $110,000,000 in theaters, "Red Planet" failed to launch and only raked in a third of that total. All in all, this trip into space lost a total of $66,000,000. Star Val Kilmer later appeared in "Deja Vu" and "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", both of which were quite successful, while co-star Carrie-Anne Moss went on to finish the "Matrix" trilogy. Director Antony Hoffman went on to retire after this, his only film. Luckily, "Red Planet" was spared from the Razzie Awards.

Instead, sci-fi deadweight "Battlefield Earth" took the reigns, premiering in the same year and melting the brains of audiences worldwide. It lost $42,000,000 itself.

Answer: Stealth

It seems like a concept that any fan of military fighter jets in film could never avoid; a sentient and malevolent, malfunctioning jet decides to take it upon itself to fuel a futuristic war. Foxx, Biel, Josh Lucas, and Dominic Purcell are called in to stop the device, known as EDI, after lightning makes it grow an ego.

As Roger Ebert said after its release, "the movie doesn't merely defy logic, but strips logic bare, cremates it, and scatters its ashes." Harsh. "Stealth", released in 2005, lost over $60,000,000 in the box office. Luckily director Rob Cohen stopped making bad movies after "Stealth"... that is until he made the second sequel in the "Mummy" franchise, "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor".

Answer: Catwoman

Let me humour us all with some review quotes from the film's less-impressed critics:
"An avalanche of de-clawed idiocy."
"The kind of movie that almost guarantees the loss of a few I.Q. points."
"Watching [Halle Berry] run around in that getup I felt embarrassed, the way I do for people who put on makeup before climbing a StairMaster -- it's too much."
"Plays like a Lifetime movie on estrogen overdose, barely held together by a script that should have been tossed out with the kitty litter."
"The 'Showgirls' of superhero movies."

Winning four Razzies with seven nominations, "Catwoman" took the original character straight out of the "Batman" comic book series, clawed at it, kneaded it down, and shoved it to the bottom of the litter box. It cost $135,000,000 to make and lost $50,000,000. At one point during the film, Halle Berry says, "White Russian, no ice, no vodka... hold the Kahlua." I knew something was amiss during the first five minutes, but that made me cringe.

Answer: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

The film is one of few to have over a published hundred negative reviews and not a single positive review on Rottentomatoes. One critic said it best: "For years, people have joked about an action movie that might eliminate plot altogether and simply cut to the pyrotechnics. Someone has finally done it." Lucy Liu is 'Sever'. Antonio Banderas is 'Ecks'.

They fight. Sever has kidnapped Ecks' son, and the kid has a 'nanobot assassin' inside of him which, as one would think, poses a problem. The great thing about the film is the fact that most of the time, you won't even notice this going on.

Another critic stated that the film is loud and boring like a bad rock concert. It's the amplifier feedback of film. Director Wych Kaosayananda made his film debut with this one, then quickly faded away having lost $50,000,000 in the box office.