Do You Really Want This Award? Quiz

Answer: the worst in film

You have to love this award. Founded in 1980 by copywriter/publicist John J.B. Wilson, the Razzies now generate their own media buzz, and are a welcome antidote to the excesses and pretentions of the Academy Awards. While most recipients ignore the ceremony or even get offended, some A-list star "winners," most notably Halle Berry and Sandra Bullock, have embraced it with humor and even shown up in person to receive their award.

The actual trophy is a golf-ball sized gold spray painted raspberry sitting on an 8mm film reel, deliberately matching the low-budget affair in tackiness. According to Razzie's own website, the all-time worst actor is Sylvester Stallone, with 33 nominations and ten awards in various categories. Adam Sandler is catching up fast, having taken home a slew of awards for his horrendous 2011 picture "Jack and Jill" and seemingly being nominated for every movie he's in (sorry about that, Sandler fans!). On the women's side, Madonna is the clear leader with eight wins as worst actress or supporting actress, including in films "Shanghai Surprise," "Swept Away," and "Die Another Day." Bo Derek, of "Ten" fame, is the runner up for worst actress.

Answer: Wooden Spoon

The Wooden Spoon has an old and interesting history as an award for losing, failure or generally less than stellar performance, probably originating in late 18th century England at the University of Cambridge. Classmates awarded an actual wooden spoon to the third-class degree student with the lowest math marks in "The Tripos" exam. As the tradition took hold, the spoons got bigger, culminating in five foot long award spoons in later years, which were dangled derisively from the balcony of the Senate House as the unfortunate man came up to get his prize. While college officials banned the practice in 1875, it somehow continued until 1909. However, it's worth noting that the "Wooden Spoon" (which also referred to the individual) was the lowest SUCCESSFUL degree recipient, and there were others who scored lower who didn't make a third-class degree. (Fourth class honours was an Oxford speciality, abolished in early 1970s).

The idea and the term found its way into Rugby Union, perhaps because many Cantabrigians were involved in the sport in early years. To this day the term is used in the Australian sport leagues to denote the team which finishes last in the standings, and fans have been known to bring wooden spoons to matches in order to taunt struggling opposing teams at Aussie Rules, NRL and soccer matches.

Answer: "hairy legged femocrats"

All these terms were used by government officials and were considered for the Ernie at some time. The word "femocrat," meaning a female government official who advocates feminist policies or women's issues, is in widespread, informal, use in Australia. Urbandictionary.com defines it as "someone who votes for a woman candidate just because she's female." Australia has a history of antipathy toward women in certain professions.

The award is named after former AWU secretary Ernie Ecob, who was well known for misogynist remarks including his most infamous: "Women aren't welcome in the shearing sheds.

They're only after the sex." This explains the sheep on top of the gold Ernie statuette. The winner each year is determined by the loudest booing by the women in attendance when the nominees are read aloud from the podium.

Answer: Mitt Romney

Although Trump has won the award, Obama and Romney were the only choices that ran for president in 2012, and whatever one thinks of the guy who won their election contest, or his policies, he has so far not won this award.

Chrissie Maher, OBE, independent newspaper publisher, and former member of the National Consumer Council in the UK, co-founded the campaign to promote the use of clear, understandable English. She launched it with a well-publicized event at Parliament Square in 1979, where she shredded reams of overly wordy government documents and forms.

British politicians who have won the award include Gordon Brown, Peter Mandelson, and Rhodi Morgan from Wales. Morgan came up with a gem when asked in 1998 if he'd be interested in becoming head of the Welsh assembly. He answered, "Does a one legged duck swim in circles."? Yogi Berra would have been impressed. This award is not limited to politicians.

Answer: sued McDonald's when coffee burned her lap

In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded 79 year old Stella Liebeck 2.86 million dollars for medical expenses and pain and suffering when she spilled a cup of steaming hot McDonald's coffee in her lap. The award set off a firestorm of debate in the US about over-zealous juries giving excessive payouts, and the generally litigious nature of the culture.

At the time, Liebeck was roundly denounced and ridiculed in media accounts and she became the example for frivolous lawsuits. However, she was hospitalized for eight days while undergoing skin grafts and underwent further treatments for two more years. Also, a judge reduced the payout to $640,000, and the amount she actually received was probably somewhat less, as the case was settled after the company appealed the verdict.

In retrospect, it was a morning pick-me-up she'd surely rather have done without.

Answer: Bad Sex in Fiction Award (BSFA)

Canadian Nancy Huston won the BSFA for her 2012 novel "Infrared," about a woman who takes infrared photos of her numerous male partners. The award was conceived in 1993 by Auberon Waugh and is handed out by the "Literary Review" magazine. Its stated purpose: "to draw attention to the crude, tasteless often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it." This book was not a candidate for the Pulitzer, nor for either of the other two awards, which are fictitious.

Answer: a sound of contempt or derision made by blowing air through closed lips, often with tongue stuck out

It's defined by urbandictionary.com as "a sarcastic cheer when a struggling team completes a mundane task." Wikipedia equates it to "blowing a raspberry" and says it is "to make a noise that may signal derision, real or feigned." The latter noise is often also used to simulate a fart sound, and any parent also knows it from when a baby realizes it can make the sound and get a reaction.

As to the origin of the term, the Bronx is one of New York City's five boroughs, home of the New York Yankees, and evidently residence of some typically cynical and contemptuous sports fans.

The slang term "Bronx Cheer" first appeared in early 20th century sports reporting. This example is from legendary sportswriter Damon Runyon previewing a football game between Princeton University and Stagg University in the "Bridgeport Telegram" : "...if Chicago lose, the east will grin and give western football the jolly old Bronx cheer." (1921)

Answer: Dick Cheney- shot a member of his hunting party in the face and torso

These events all happened and were considered, but the infamous Cheney shooting debacle was the easy winner, according to texasmonthly.com/2007awards.

In the incident, the former vice president turned and fired at a flushed bird, but accidentally shot Harry Wittingham, who was retrieving a downed bird some distance away. Cheney exacerbated the matter by unsuccessfully trying to control access to the story; first getting his ranch owner/friend to release information only to a local newspaper which hinted that the victim was to blame, then refusing to talk to the press for three days. The incident was an embarrassment to an already beleaguered Bush administration, and it dropped Cheney's approval rating to a rock bottom eighteen percent. Although Wittingham has been gracious and forgiving to a fault, to this date he has never received an apology from Cheney. (content.time.com - "Slow Leak: How Cheney Stalled News Reports of Hunting Accident 2/13/2006)

Answer: For charity, a Catholic priest in Brazil took to the sky in a chair raised by 1000 balloons. At 6,000 meters, he called for directions, using his GPS. He was found dead at sea.

Believe it or not, the priest is the real Darwin Award "winner." Adele Antonio de Carli (1966-2008) was an experienced skydiver/priest who risked the stunt to help fund a rest stop and meditation center for truck drivers. He had gone aloft by balloon before, and was well prepared, except for the fatal failure to understand the GPS, which caused him to lose ground contact and eventually his life. Some men on an oil rig found the lower half of his body in the ocean on July 4, 2008, more than two months after he took off.

The contraceptive jelly story appeared in a tabloid rag called "Weekly World," and reportedly happened in Philadelphia, PA, but had the woman getting pregnant and suing the drug store, rather than dying. Some mainstream media picked it up even though it proved to be completely false. An Englishman named Charles Stephens with the nickname "the demon barber" did die going over Niagara Falls in 1920, long before the Darwin Award was conceived. He foolishly and against advice used the anvil for ballast, but it evidently broke through the bottom of his barrel when he landed, and he drowned. Texas youth story is author invented.

Answer: Mr. Irrelevant

The NFL draft was instituted in 1936. Since 1976, the last man picked has been dubbed "Mr. Irrelevant." Like many of these awards which started as a joke or to make a point, this one now generates a lot of buzz and media attention. The latest Mr. Irrelevant is invited to Newport Beach, California for a celebrity roast, a golf tournament, and the ceremony.

There he picks up his statuette, a football player posed like the Heisman, but fumbling the football. Since the draft was reduced to the current seven rounds in 1994, Mr. Irrelevant is now more likely to make an NFL roster than before. Considering all this, becoming Mr. Irrelevant has become ironically positive.