Hilarious Moments on "The West Wing", Season One Quiz

Answer: The Secret Service storms the bar on a signal from Josh.

On seeing Zoe and Charlie in a tense encounter with three obnoxious drunk kids, Josh picks up Zoe's panic button, which summons the Secret Service if needed. The West Wing gang is unable to dissuade the college kids from hassling Zoe and Charlie, so Josh informs them that they're about to have a very bad night-and hits the button. Enter multiple agents, guns drawn, who quickly subdue and remove the three offenders. "NOW I'm having a good time," is Charlie's final comment.

Answer: Leo's daughter's fourth-grade class visit to the White House.

Sam has agreed to meet with Leo's daughter's fourth grade class when they visit the White House. He doesn't know which student she is. In a conversation with the teacher of the class in the hall, Sam vents about the terrible day he's had, which included his finding out that he had slept with a woman who is a call girl; he then asks the teacher to identify who is Leo's daughter so he can impress her and make points with his boss.

She responds, "That would be me," and so Sam and Mallory's relationship begins.

Answer: They assign Sam to write a birthday message to a cabinet official.

The Assistant Secretary of Agriculture is about to celebrate his 58th birthday, and Leo asks Sam to write a birthday message for him. Sam, unable to let go of a piece of writing until it's perfect, produces draft after draft. When he finally shows it to the President, the President asks him to refine it further, "really do it right", and Sam is stuck for the evening. Mallory figures out what's happening, though, and confronts her dad and the President.

After she and her father make peace, Mallory invites both Sam and Leo out for coffee and dessert, but Sam-and now Toby as well-are deeply embroiled in creating the perfect birthday message, so Sam passes on the invitation.

Answer: High on painkillers.

The President has been having trouble with his back; he takes two different painkillers when he was supposed only to take one. He wanders into the staff meeting in sweatshirt and jeans, and proceeds to hold forth on a variety of topics that have no bearing on the meeting's agenda, such as his desire to get a dog.

He waxes eloquent on his affection for his staffers, and enfolds both Sam (whom he addresses as Toby) and Toby in prolonged (and very awkward) hugs. The staff can scarcely contain their mirth but somehow treat the President respectfully until Charlie arrives to return him to his bed.

Answer: "Is he coming in from Neptune?"

Another complication to his arrival in DC comes when Mendoza later is incarcerated in an upscale town in Connecticut for-as Sam puts it-"driving while Hispanic". The charge is actually driving while intoxicated, and it turns out to be false.

Answer: The Delta shuttle from LaGuardia.

Throughout the series, Sam demonstrates several times that he is very interested-not to say geekily obsessed-with routes and maps and navigation in general, so his failure to steer by the stars comes as a bit of a humiliation.

Answer: Josh

Josh tries to handle the press at the briefing with sarcastic humor, but succeeds only in insulting them and inadvertently announcing that the President has a "secret plan" to fight inflation, which the President assuredly does not. The resulting flap ends up with the President's forbidding Josh to go anywhere near the press room in the future, and ordering CJ to do all briefings even if she has a head wound gushing blood.

There are a couple very funny interchanges between CJ and other staffers before the Novocaine wears off-her speech is significantly impaired and Josh makes her say "Foggy Bottom", for instance.

Answer: He repeatedly identifies Leo as Gerald, the butler.

Lord Marbury is flamboyant and irreverent, and his mere presence drives Leo nuts. He is, however, a very entertaining figure in the series and shows himself to be a skillful and shrewd diplomat when needed.

Answer: "Big Block of Cheese Day"

Leo is very taken with a story about President Andrew Jackson, who reportedly put a big (two-ton!) block of cheese in the White House rotunda for anyone to nibble. This symbolized the openness of the White House to the citizens of the country.

The staff, however, makes no bones about their scorn for the "Big Block of Cheese Day". On the particular day covered by the episode, CJ must meet with members of a group who want to build a $990 million highway to be used only by wolves to migrate from the US to the Yukon safely; and Sam meets with a gentleman who is convinced that there are possibly dangerous aliens flying across the US even as the meeting takes place.

Answer: Yellow hip waders

Josh laments that he will look like the Gorton's fisherman in the outfit Donna brought him. Adding insult to injury, the people he's meeting with, whom he's never met, arrive before his suit is back from the cleaners...