Jim Bouton's "Ball Four"

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1. What are the first words of "Ball Four?" [Nuts!] Benched again I can't believe it... just cannot believe it "Ball four." Two words that no pitcher wants to hear I'm 30 years old and I have these dreams

2. What is "The Flame?" That look that Sal 'The Barber' Maglie gives when he's mad at you The "mother of all hot-foots" A "restaurant" used in a practical joke The 96 mph fastball thrown by a 17-year-old who worries Bouton

3. "One of these days, maybe I'll figure out how to" do something, writes Bouton at one point. "It sounds like a valuable pitching weapon." Do what? Focus Smoke him inside Zitz a guy Bean someone and make it look like an accident

4. What is Joe Schultz's seemingly constant companion whenever Bouton wants to discuss getting more time in the pitching rotation? A can of tuna fish A goldfish who receives more of Schultz's attention than does Bouton A fifth of Jack Daniels A liverwurst sandwich

5. During Bouton's stint in the minors, what form of poisoning does he claim to suffer? Food Mai tai AAArsenic Arm rot

6. What cartoon character impersonation did Marty Pattin frequently draw laughs with? Porky Pig as an English Lit professor Donald Duck having an orgasm Mickey Mouse talking back to Joe Schultz Elmer Fudd explaining how to throw a "cuwve ball"

7. Eddie O'Brien is called "Mr. Small Stuff" because of: His obsession with meaningless matters His batting average as a player His anatomy His bottlecap collection

8. What does Joe Schultz say when he sees a player's wife drinking a Coke? Hey! When'd they run out of Pepsi? It's the real thing! You'll never make it on that, my dear. Can I get you some rum for that, honey?

9. What could be better than a Fourth of July double-header in Kansas City? How about a Fourth of July double-header in Kansas City where you're not blown out by the third inning? Everything up to and including a kick in the [rear] Throw in some of that great KC barbeque between games and you're talking! Oh, death maybe. Or facing Boog Powell three times in one inning

10. Who were George Saviano and Al Gornie? The last two American League batters Bouton faced The founders of the Jim Bouton fan club They both claimed to be married to the same woman The original batboys for the Seattle Pilots

11. What does "ding dong" mean in the book? A pitched ball hitting the catcher in his protective cup A home run The sound of the bullpen phone ringing A fan who talks too much and doesn't know what he's talking about

12. When Mike Hegan is filling out a public relations questionnaire, what is the first answer he proposes to the question "What is the most difficult thing about playing major-league baseball?" Explaining to your wife why *she* needs a penicillin shot for *your* kidney infection Keeping a straight face in my ridiculous uniform Hitting, pitching, running, throwing Answering questions like this

13. At Cafe Bohemia in Washington DC, what did Eddie O'Brien have for dinner? Lambchops Steak Fried chicken Buffalo burger

14. Which of the following is most closely-related to "chin music?" Tweener Purpose pitch Kicks Hose

15. Which player listed below never roomed with Jim Bouton in "Ball Four?" Mike Marshall Tommy Davis Steve Hovley Bob Lasko

16. The Pilots' official team photo was taken between July 25 and July 27. What is one thing below that does NOT help us know this? Bouton's stories about the photo session The players in the photo The scoreboard in the photo The Pilots' schedule

17. What children's TV show did Bouton mention frequently in the book? Captain Video Romper Room Tom and Jerry Howdy Doody

18. During an insult contest, who or what does Merritt Ranew say Fred Talbot looked like? A plumber A perch Woody Allen Joe Schultz

19. Why did baseball players love Washington DC's Shoreham Hotel so much? The location The layout The bar The room service

20. Where was Jim Bouton when he found out he'd been traded to Houston? Chicago Hosting his son's birthday party Baltimore Cleveland

21. What was "Proud to be an Astro?" The Astros' official fight song A raunchy ditty that the Astro players sing A drinking game The title of the last section of "Ball Four"

22. Where did Jim's family live in September 1969 while he was with the Astros? In the visiting NFL locker room at the Astrodome At a NASA training facility that hadn't been used for two years With his wife's grandfather At Astroworld Hotel

23. Jim was traded to Houston for Dooley Womack. How else does Dooley Womack make an appearance in "Ball Four?" The Yankees invented a dance based on Womack's on-field mannerisms Jim's manager compared him to Dooley Womack after he had a splendid spring training He was on the bullpen's "All-Ugly Team" He'd get mad when Joe Pepitone would call him "Wooley Domack"

24. In scolding the team after a sloppy loss, who did Harry Walker say they looked like? Molly Putz Tom Thumb Captain Kangaroo Barney Fife

25. Finish the book as Jim did: "You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball..." but then it IS only baseball. Time to move on. and then, one pitch and... Ball Four! and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time. but it's baseball that takes a big piece out of you in the end.